Hellobee Boards

https://medium.com/embrace-race/your-5-year-old-is-already-racially-biased-heres-what-you-can-do-about-it-d72de0480ba3

This is actually very normal. You should view it as an opening to have conversations about race. As they article that @Silva linked to points out, kids are going to make assumptions about the difference between people. I see it as my job to teach my kids that people do, indeed, look different, and our society treats them different as a result, and it's our job to work to stop that.

I've actually been trying to get my 5 yo to make statements about race as an opening to have more conversations, but she hasn't been taking my bait. So then I just bring it up randomly, which is, in my opinion, much harder.

I'm trying to find an article I read about how it's better to talk to your kids directly about race than assume that they will learn from being around a diverse group of people. I'll comment again if I can find it.

The other ladies have given you great advice, I just wanted to chime in that we have gone through this with DD2. Our girls go to a VERY diverse school...they have been exposed to all varieties of people. We love it.

DD2 was having some issues with a few of the dads saying they were scary and crying when they came into the room - for a few weeks. DH commented that it seemed to be these two dads in particular who both happened to be black, DH was terrified why she was only reacting to the two black dads in the room. I started doing more drop offs/pick ups (for totally other reasons) and noted that as it turns out they were the only two dads with beards. We ended up discussing with her (as best you can a 2.5 year old) and realized the beard was the scary part (no men in our family have beards) by asking some vague but leading questions.

She has since cried at another dad who is white and has chosen to grow a beard. So perhaps it was something about the two peoples appearances not skin color related....?

@hitchhiker: all of this! Assuming it had anything to do with race, though. It's important to consider the possibility, by kids are blunt and they're sometimes picky about weird stuff like the beards described above. My ten month old cried and would not go to dh for like half a day when he last cut his hair, and it wasn't even that dramatic, just a shorter style. Both my girls have gotten weird about towels on my head post shower. It's just strange, but it does happen. But otherwise, all that was said above about starting a conversation rather than being "color blind."

@RonjaL7: Thanks for posting this. Its important to realize that a child doesnt have to br exposed to racism to behave this way. Just the lack of regular interaction with people who look different can be enough. This is why racial tolerance has to be intentionally taught and explicitly talked about in homes. The same goes for religious tolerance too.

Cup of Jo did a series of posts on this that might be good to check out too:

https://cupofjo.com/2016/10/raising-race-conscious-children/

https://cupofjo.com/2016/10/childrens-books-featuring-kids-of-color/