Hellobee Boards

A massage or a pedicure seems somehow inappropriate, but I can’t put my finger on why. When I had a miscarriage a friend sent me chocolate covered strawberries and I couldn’t eat them because I kept thinking “I have these because I lost my baby.” I feel like I’d have the same feeling during a pedicure, but that’s just me. Maybe a gift certificate for a restaurant that delivers?

As far as what to say, I think your plan is fine - “I’m so sorry for your loss, you have all been in our thoughts.”

Is there a local catering company? Different situation - but a friend of my husbands was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago and he and his wife had a 4 month old, 1.5 year old twins and 3 year old. Friend organized a meal delivery service three nights a week and organized a schedule of fresh fruit and veggie deliveries. Something like that might be help.. It was a lot of work for a few close friends to organize, but most of us just had to donate money so it was easy to do and a lot of people wanted to help.
It's so hard to cook and feed your family in times like this. I'm so sorry for her loss

@erinbaderin: Totallt agree.

@LAZB: Yes groceries. Excellent suggestion.
I’m very sorry about your little.

I would do grubhub over a Mani pedi. The problem with spa days is you need child care and you have to interact with society. One of the first questions you get asked is how many children you have. I know I'd probably not use it. But I'd love to get food.

At the visitation, all you need to say is "I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how horrible this is for uou". If you're close, I'd offer to watch her child, but if you haven't done drop off play dates before, I wouldn't offer.

I'd do gift cards to common places to eat in your area. So they can easily grab dinner or lunch when they don't feel like cooking.

@SweetCaroline: I attended a coworkers’ LO’s funeral and I worried about what to say too. ‘I’m sorry’ and your presence says a lot. The service I went to had an opportunity to write down stories of the LO. I (and a lot of the attendees) never met the LO but I shared ways that I knew my coworker loved her so much.

I had a friend loss an infant and the biggest thing that helped was dropping off food and water, giving space but letting them know you're there if they need anything at all. It's a sad sad sad situation.

The most wonderful and appreciated thing for me when I go through hard times is when people drop off food. It takes all the pressure of going out and using gift cards, etc.

Probably a gift card for a nice restaurant to get dinner take out would work. However, the time my mother and sister n l law spent with me taking care of the kids and cooking after my miscarriage recovery is priceless. Even the time spent speaking with people that called outweighs any gift.