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@spaniellove: First of all, I'm really sorry that you have to go through this! I, too, was shocked to find out that my DH and I would need IVF/ICSI this past spring (we were given a 2% chance on our own and only a 6-8% chance with IUI). At this point I've been through 1 full IVF (BFN, unfortunately) and am going to have a frozen embryo transfer on Oct 4th.

I know the whole process can be overwhelming. Try to take everything one step at a time and ask your doc/nurses any questions you have (even ask more than once if needed). We also had to pay out of pocket. We used $$ that was being saved for a house downpayment for the first round, and honestly, borrowed $$ from my parents for this second round since we didn't want to wait to save more $$ ourselves. I joke that a grandchild is a better return on their investment than keeping the $$ in the bank ;).

For my first appt we went over the results from DH's SA and my HSG and decided pretty quickly that we needed to go the IVF/ICSI route. After that it was just scheduling!

I'd be happy to answer any questions you have. I know it is nice to chat with someone outside the Doc's office sometimes! Wishing you the best of luck as you move forward!!!

We did IVF due to MFI. My husband has Cystic Fibrosis and no vas deferens. We knew that if we wanted kids we would have to go that route. We were successful with our first try and have a little boy. We are hoping to do a frozen transfer next summer for a second child.

It was a long and expensive process. We say our son is our 20000 dollar baby. But he is worth every single penny. We maxed out both credit cards to have him. We did find that there are a few pharmacies that would bill our insurance for medicines. We only used them a little so some of the medicines were covered.

We had to do IVF with ICSI and with them pulling the sperm from my husband. We also did a 5 day transfer instead of a 3 day transfer.

Things I would ask include how often and how they will contact you. We didn't have alot of contact at the beginning and I felt very confused. When we got into the cycle it wasn't so bad.

Ask if there is any sort of way to get a discount if you do the less medicated. We had the option to implant 1 egg but we did end up doing 2 because only 2 were ready and we didn't want to "waste" our money. I also wanted twins (we didn't get them).

It is a long process. It can seem very lonely. If you have questions, feel free to ask.

@Trailmix: I am totally threadjacking, but I just wanted to say that it made me sad to hear you say that.

I imagine infertility is so painful and personal, blogging about it might not be something any of you doing IVF would ever consider, but I know that I would appreciate more perspectives like yours on the blog. I also think it might bring more women struggling to conceive to the community through Google searches. Right now, the blog is really focused on pregnancy/babies, so I think that is why the boards are that way as well.

Best wishes to all of you. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Some financing ideas:
We used our FSA (flexible spending accounts) to pay for portions of our treatment.

What wasn't covered there, we were able to claim on taxes. It has to be over like 7.5% of your income for medical expenses. You can also claim a certain amount of hotel expenses (we spent 2 weeks in a hotel) and mileage. We have a number of doctors outside of our area so that helped. We were also able to do claim the embryo freezing.

You still have to have the money up front but we were able to pay most of it off pretty quickly with those 2.

@Trailmix: I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis and I wish you the best of luck with the IUI cycle! I share your frustration about the lack of support for infertility in general. I'm kind of depressed today because my experience is moving along painfully slow. Every time I go to the RE there are more tests to be done and yesterday they FINALLY prescribed Clomid for me, then called later to say it was a mistake and I need more testing still. I'm worried they are running up the bill too much and my insurance is going to stop paying for it! Ugh, but that's a long story and I'm trying to tell myself all the testing is necessary. Let me know if you want to talk, I am here going through the same thing and super frustrated..

@spaniellove: I wish I could help, but like I said to @trailmix above, I've been seeing an RE since July and still haven't started treatment! Best of luck to you!

We were starting our IVF cycle about this time last year. We had unexplained infertility, and completed 3 unsuccessful IUIs with femara and 1 with injectables. I had a healthy twin pregnancy from our first cycle with pretty low stimulation and a 5 day transfer of 2 blasts.

Advice?

As MGG said, the decision of how many embryos to transfer is a huge one, and it's also one your clinic will have a say in. Higher order multiples are a possibility that has to be considered, and our clinic was good about counseling us about the risks. We chose to transfer two and feel very lucky that we ended up with twins. I would ask about their freezing standards for any extra embryos. We assumed we'd have some backup embryos for an FET, but our clinic has an extremely high standard for what they will cryo. While we had good embryos, none of our 'extra' 4 met the bar, and could not be frozen. This definitely played a role in our decision to transfer a second. Also ask about the cryo and FET costs - ours would have been a few hundred dollars per quarter to keep frozen, and another few thousand for each FET, which is a pretty big investment, but some places it's included in the package.

I was most interested in getting as much logistical info as possible. They should be able to give you a sample/estimated calendar and detailed financial info. Ask about what they might see as potential roadblocks to your specific timeline (I had a cyst that delayed us a month) or what happens to your financial investment if they cycle is cancelled at any point.

Ask about your specific situation and how meds or protocols should be adjusted for your conditions. There are SO many options for meds - different combinations and different dosages.

My insurance/hmo had an online formulary that I could look up which meds could be covered. While they didn't cover any of the big guns, I could get the femara, syringes, antibiotics, pain meds, etc. covered for very little out of pocket. RE offices also have access to samples and coupons, so ask for them and milk them as much as possible.

@spaniellove: @Trailmix: I think there are a decent number of IVF/infertility grads around here, but for better or worse, many of us are on the flip side and are pregnant or parenting. I know how lonely it can feel. It took us almost 2 years before we were successful. Please feel free to message me, or start threads to catch our eye! I sincerely wish you both the best of luck!

@spaniellove: i'll reply when i get a chance - we did ivf too and now have 5.5 mo-old bg twins.

@Trailmix: I've been curious about how you're doing. I know you had an HSG scheduled back at the beginning of the month. How did the diagnosis of Diminished Ovarian Reserve come to be? I'm not so familiar with that. (only share what you want...I'm not prying)

I have my first RE appointment in about a week, so I don't have anything to offer at this point but support. I do appreciate the sharing of knowledge and feelings that goes on here at HB, and hope that you find the support you need. Infertility is hard, and it sucks.

I know I'll be leaning on everyone here as soon as I move into the next stages.

@GreenThumb: I wasn't caught up on your IVF...I'm sorry it didn't work out and best of luck on your FET!!

@spaniellove Well, I'm glad you started this thread, hopefully it can be a means of support for those of us on HB who are going through fertility treatments. Or maybe we should start a separate one?

@daniellemybelle I've been pretty surprised by the way the infertility posts are basically ignored by most of the community here. Not from personal experience bc I've actually never posted about my own issues specifically but just from when others have posted. For example, this thread took over a day to get a response, which doesn't really happen with most other posts...it does suck bc it is an awful experience and to be ignored on top of it definitely is hard so THANKS so much for coming over, expressing your sympathy, that means a lot, I think

@moderndaisy Thanks for the support, so sorry it's taking you so long to get all the tests done. The problem is everything is cycle-day sensitive, so if you miss something for some reason, you have to wait until the next cycle, right? So frustrating! I hope Clomid does the job for you!

@Merryc you're probably right, there's more IVF and IUI-ers than I realized but I've read the entire 2 pages of infertility posts and it just seems like that area is kinda ignored here...maybe the more we talk about it, the more acknowledgment we'll get? Thanks for sharing your words of advice....

@grace Thanks, dear. It's been a pretty devastating couple of weeks, more details on my diagnosis below...I know you just saw your GYN for the first time and that you will probably be going to a fertility clinic, how are you feeling about everything?

@Greenthumb I've been rooting for you since your first IVF, really hope this second time around works!! Thanks for your support and advice...

@sweetooth Well, the HSG was a bit of a disaster(I passed out cold, yikes!) but from the few photos the dr got, tubes seem to be clear. The diagnosis came from Day 2/3 blood tests of my FSH and AMH levels. My FSH was really, really high (20.8 when it should be around 6) and my AMH was quite low (.3 when it should be at least at 1)...so basically my hormones are working too hard to produce crappy eggs. So the dr recommended we do an injectables + IUI this cycle. It was pretty hard to hear, have been feeling pretty devastated for the last week or so ever since I found out.

@Alison206 Thanks for the support, it really means a lot!

Whooof, that was a monster of a response post but it is so good to know I'm not alone in what I'm going through and that there are others here on HB who get it. I'm definitely interested in hearing more about eveyrone's diagnoses and treatments!

And, for those interested, my insurance covers everything up to IVF and 10,000 for IVF, which unfortunately won't even cover 1 cycle. But my first round of meds (4 Gonal F pens, 1 Ovidrel and 2 boxes of progesterone supplements) only cost $85 so right now, I am grateful for my insurance company!

@Trailmix: Oh, that sucks. Must have been shocking too. Right now, I feel pretty positive. It's nice to be trying something new rather than just trying again and again. But, ask me again after I get my test results back.

@spaniellove: We chose to go to the further clinic with good numbers and recommended by the CF clinic. I am glad we did. We had to stay there for 2 weeks but while we stimmed I had a blood test every single morning. We changed doses every night and we last minute triggered. If we weren't there to get the testing every day, we would have had to cancel the cycle as I was getting to high. So, I'm really glad we went the way we did.

I don't have anything helpful to add, but I just wanted to lend my support! Hugs to all!

@Mrs Green Grass: Thank you! We are really hopeful for the FET!