How do you help your lo (3 years and older) with anger? Do they get angry when something doesn't go their way? How do you respond and how do you help them understand what they are feeling and work with them on it?
How do you help your lo (3 years and older) with anger? Do they get angry when something doesn't go their way? How do you respond and how do you help them understand what they are feeling and work with them on it?
grapefruit / 4800 posts
I think some of it is trial and error to figure out what works for them. My oldest is almost 5 now but she just needs to chill out sometimes and at this point walks herself up to her room to have some space to cry and calm down. She does get frustrated when she's not able to do something right and sometimes shouts and stomps and for that I just don't respond or help till she stops, sometimes she gets the everyone learns by practicing talk or how mama had to practice something story after she's calm. If it's something else I don't try to actively get to the root of the problem until the initial storm has passed or she just gets more frustrated. we just work on getting calm at that point.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
Use your words, use your words. That is our daily mantra. She has started telling us "I angry!". She will do a little grr and clench her fist. Or stomp her feet. I always try to validate her anger and tell her to come talk to me when she's ready.
Also, at daycare they have a sad spot. It's not time out. It's a spot with a small radio and books and a cushion. When kids are angry, they can go there. Her teachers tell us she will often stomp there, saying "I angry!". She will turn the music on, grab a book and read. When she's ready she will rejoin the group. This is when we were having a lot of aggressions issues at preschool and I was about to try implementing this at home.
cherry / 175 posts
My son is like this and I would always name his feeling and why he may be feeling it. Eg, you're angry because you want to play but mommy said no. He use to hit or throw things and I would say, I know you're angry but no hitting or ____. If you want to be like that you can be by yourself. It took awhile but now he just says IM ANGRY!! and shakes his fist. If he starts yelling I raise my voice and remind him it's okay to be angry but not to be mean and or to walk away. I think he's gotten way better now than he was when he just turned 3.
grapefruit / 4291 posts
I'm trying to model calm behaviour for my 3.5yo and we practice taking deep breaths although it only works some of the time!
squash / 13764 posts
I reflect that he's angry and tell him that it's ok to be angry, and he can cry if he wants to. He will often go to his room and want to be by himself, and then want a hug.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
We deal with a very emotional 3 1/2 year old, we acknowledge that she's angry and that if she wants to have a moment, she can go in her room and come out when she's calmed down. We do have a glitter calm down bottle that I shake and she watches. It does work for her to see the pretty colors. I have to do my best to stay calm too because 2 upset people is worse.
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