Hellobee Boards

Say no. She should have planned better and purchased tickets a long time ago. Even if she tries to take it unpaid it screws you guys. After lots of leeway and extras with our former nanny, I can now see when it is ok to say no

Just say no. It was made clear before hand.

@Anagram: yeah just tell her sorry but no, you both have to work and you don't have any backup child care.

I don't have any advice, but a question. Is 4 days off normal for a teacher? If so, I'm really sorry. I know teachers get more breaks than office workers, but the pay isn't comparable. That's a bummer.

A change in care and schedules is so disruptive. I would say that you can't accommodate that. If she can't make it work, and has to be gone until the 7th, I would absolutely not pay her for those days off.

It might be worth sitting down and having a chat about schedule expectations and your lack of flexibility within your work schedules. If she can't commit to what was originally agreed upon, it might be time to find someone new.

If I remember correctly your husband is in finance? When I worked on Wall St we had an on site child care center that could be used a limited number of days for back up care and I know many of the banks had similar set up. If something like that is available I would tell the nanny she can have the extra days, but they will be unpaid. If there's no back up care option, I would not hesitate to say no. She knew the expectations.

As a former nanny, I think this request is completely unreasonable. I'm surprised she even asked! I would tell her no.

I would say no. If my boss told me that I could have X days off and I said I needed more, he would pretty much say "Oh well". I don't think a nanny should be much different.

@MamaG: I think 4 personal days is probably pretty good. My best friend is a teacher and only gets 2 personal days. I'm not sure how many sick days - maybe 4 or 5? I think it's because they already have a number of set vacations, plus the summer off?

@Anagram: I would definitely tell her no. She's already getting the week off and she has time off coming up in February and April. PAID! I think you're already very generous and you shouldn't have to scramble for a back-up and have your daughters suffer dealing with a stranger for a week. Tell your nanny that you're sorry, but you can't get the time off yourselves and have no back-up. She should understand and should've planned better.

I'm usually super-pro domestic help's rights but in this case, I'd say no. I'm in the exact same
Situation (teacher with full-time nanny in NYC) and I'd be really upset if my nanny asked me for this time off. I get 2 personal days for the year and she knows that my schedule is not flexible.

@MamaG: my Dh, doesn't really get personal days. Basically if you miss a day of classes, even if you find someone to teach them, they dock you 8 hours of pay. Which is crazy since most college days aren't a full 8 hours worth of classes. If instead you went to one class and missed the others they only dock you the hours you missed. Crazy right!

But he does have the summer off (assuming he's not teaching summer school), a month at Christmas, spring break, fall break, and since we're in Louisiana, Mardi Gras break.

Nope nope nope. She knew up front, and she's just asking you to absorb a PTO hardship so that she doesn't have to absorb a financial hardship.

In your situation, the only thing I would consider is if a trusted caregiver (like your mom) can come, and if the cost of her airfare is less than you would have spent on your nanny's unpaid time off. This is based on what I have read in your other posts about how helpful your parents/in-laws are, so I think the week would go smoothly with your mom there. I would not sacrifice your PTO or your husband's for this, and I would not go through the hassle of unfamiliar backup care.

You should also make it clear to your nanny that this would be unpaid time off. So I suspect the savings in airfare would be offset by her lack of income for the week.

No way let her have it off paid! If you can find a good back up plan then let her take them unpaid but I would not try to burden the grandparents with it. I think college students tend to have a longer winter break so maybe that would be an option? Or if you can find a SAHM or as needed babysitter, it would probably be a good idea to have a backup plan anyway in case of your nanny's illness or other emergency situation.

hmm, if my nanny asked for this i might be a little annoyed - but i'd probably give it to her, unpaid, and get backup care -- if that's even an option for you. For us we could probably get grandparents to come and stay and help out those extra days.

No, I would not accommodate this request. It is more expensive to travel around the holidays- such is life.

@Anagram: Also, does the nanny know that IF you are even able to pull this off and find coverage for her, that she would not be able to take the time off as paid time off? That loss of income may totally negate any savings on the flight she may be getting by shifting her plans. I would make that clear ASAP and see if she doesn't change her tune.