I'm not that old. 35, turning 36 soon. Have an almost 4yo and a 15mo and pregnant with our 3rd. Lately I'm feeling so tired and old. We consciously waited to have kids until we were older and more established, but man, lately I'm wishing I was even 5 years younger. I had so much more energy! I'm feeling old lately. Anyone else ever wish they were younger again???
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I'm the same age and wish I had had my LOs 2-3 years earlier. But then I probably would have had a totally different life!
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Oh absolutely! I say all the tine that I wish I had been 10 yrs younger when I had my kids. Of course, I didn't know my DH then and I wasn't financially stable but, man, I could party every night and still get up for work in the morning! I'm 34, almost 35, now and I feel so old and exhausted!
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I just turned 36 and am pregnant with #2. Sometimes I physically feel old this pregnancy since I'm at the stage where it's harder to move. But mostly, no. I loved my twenties! We lived in the city, I traveled a ton, saw so much live music, established my career...wouldn't change it. We waited to have kids until we bought a house, and I'm glad we were a little more established professionally and financially. Plus, most of our friends started to have kids in their thirties, so I don't necessarily feel old.
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Nah. I have far more confidence now and I think I'd have bed a basket-case if I became a mom at a younger age.
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@Grace: haha yeah this is probably true for me too!
@Alba4: I definitely enjoyed my 20s too! But sometimes I see younger moms and it seems like they have so much more energy and can deal with sleep deprivation so much better. So tired. Ha.
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Sometimes but not usually. I just turned 35 in January, have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old. I'm very tired most days, and my second pregnancy was freaking exhausting. But we enjoyed our 20s and we consciously waited until we were comfortable enough that is be able to stay home while they were little, which we couldn't have afforded earlier. Plus we had enough time for fun and travel and going out late and stuff so I don't feel like I'm missing out on that now. So no don't really regret it, but I do see the benefits of being younger.
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@winniebee: I don't necessarily think you'd be less tired if you were younger. I'm 27 and constantly have no energy. I also have 3 kids. I think these sweet kiddos age is much more than actual aging
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Sort of. I'm 35 and have a 2.5 year old. I only really wish I had started TTC #2 earlier because I didn't anticipate having so many problems. I was hoping to be done with pregnancies by age 35 but that probably won't happen now. In terms of parenting though, I'm happy I waited. I'm glad I spent time on myself (doing grad school, enjoying years of marriage with DH) before having a child. I've mellowed with age and I think it probably makes me a better mom.
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I'm 38 today so age is on my mind! Being a slightly older mom is a double edged sword. My life and finances a relationship couldn't have accommodated kids. Now we can afford so much more. But pregnant at this age is tough! And then newborn sleep deprivation *shudders*.
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I'm almost 33 and don't feel like I have any less energy than I did in my teens or twenties. And I'm more mature in other ways that help to cope with life stresses, so in some ways I have more useful energy. Maybe I'm just lucky, or maybe we tend to remember the times when we had energy, and not the times in our twenties when we were exhausted, I remember the times when I was exhausted well
My bigger concern with age and childbearing is age-related infertility.
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@NavyRN2012: maybe I'm just looking backing thinking I had more energy? I obviously didn't have kids then so tough to compare! Each of my pregnancies have been harder as the years went by (31, 33/34, now 35/36).
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I'm OK on the energy but wish I was younger so that I could have more time with my kids and grandkids.
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@oliviaoblivia: I feel the same way. And even moreso I want my kids to have a lot of time with my parents and I worry sometimes that they'll have less time with their grandparents.
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I'm 25 years old so you have ten years on me and I'm expecting my third with a 2 year old and 1 year old running around and can promise you I am exhausted 24:7. By 7pm each day I am ready to collapse. Raising young children is just flat out exhausting!
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@ShootingStar: Happy Birthday! I'll be 38 on the 29th, and REALLY hoping to be pregnant with #2 through an IVF (FET) in April, so age is also on my mind!
I agree with others that I am a better mom at this age than I would have been when I was in my 20s (a lot more patience and less me-focused) but I do wish I was a few years younger. Infertility has drawn out this whole process even more than I was expecting. I had my first after turning 35 and was really hoping to be done with TTC by now.
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@winniebee: it's probably just the first tri exhaustion. I'm young and I had absolutely no energy taking care of two kids while pregnant. Even after pregnancy, I'd like a nap by 7am.
The grass is always greener on the other side though. I'm a young mom and I wish I would have had kids much later.
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@oliviaoblivia: @bloved: I used to feel guilty about this b/c DH's grandparents are still alive whereas mine all passed away awhile ago, and I really miss them and wish I could have known them as an adult. However, I realized because my grandparents were already retired when I came along, they had a lot of time to spend with me as a kid and shape who I became, and I really treasure those memories. I know a lot of people with young grandparents, who weren't at retirement age til they were adults, so they didn't get to spend as much time with them as kids.
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Yeah, I'll be 34 very soon and pregnant with my third. I really wish we had started trying for our first earlier. I was afraid of not being vested at work but then it ended up taking a year to get pregnant. It makes me feel like 40 with a 5 year old - not even in elementary school - is kind of crazy. Plus my bigger regret is that my step-dad passed away just before I got pregnant with LO1 and I just always kind of wish he had a chance to meet at least one of my kids.
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@winniebee: Not at all. I was young and dumb.
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I only wish my DH were younger! We've gotten so many comments about how much better I look than he does since our baby was born. LO is EBF, so he's *definitely* getting more sleep than me - I guess it must be the 12 year age difference!
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I'm 34 and don't wish I was a younger mom. If it makes you feel better, our new neighbors are 40 (her) and 60 (him) with 14 month old twins....so it could be worse!
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@winniebee: yes! I'll be 36 on Tuesday.
If I were younger I'd have more than one child. -
Yes. It's not so much my energy level, it's more that I wonder if we'll get to meet our grandkids, and if I'll be in any shape to help out with them.
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Well it seems I feel the opposite as most of you lol. I'm 28 and wish I had stared having kids around 22. I feel like because I waited till later the post partum phase has been a lot harder for me. I feel like I had my life structured exactly how I liked it, like I was set in my ways, and throwing a kid into it has really thrown me for a loop. Maybe if I had had DS earlier I wouldn't know what I was missing? I know it sounds weird and I hope I'm explaining it right. What's even more so at 28 I'm the oldest person I know to have kids. Most people in this area have kids in early 20's. So when DS goes to school most of the other moms are likely to be 5 to 10 yrs younger than me.
Eta: me and DH have been together 11 yrs, so it's not like we couldn't of had him earlier, we just wanted to do we stuff. I feel like that's really turned into a catch 22 now lol.
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Nope! I'll be 35 this year and this feels like the perfect time in our lives to complete our family. Honestly, I was pretty selfish and me-first in my 20s, and would not have been as good a mom, because I would have resented giving up certain things. We also are able to give our los a lot more because we are in a better place financially. And somehow I don't mind being exhausted these days as much as I might have 10 years ago - I guess I just don't feel the same pressure to go out all the time or anything, so the exhaustion is easier for me now.
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Sometimes. I have 2 kids and I'm 34. If we go for a third I feel like I kind of want to get pregnant sooner rather than later. I guess I feel more rushed since I waited longer.
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No, not really. I'm older than most people on this thread. I will say that I am happier to be a mother at this point because DH is in a place in his career where he can be more present and helpful. He used to work so much, and now he has more flexibility because he is more senior. I would have been doing a lot more alone.
I didn't get married until my early 30's and had no interest in having children immediately. I am glad DH and I had that time together.
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interesting question. while i am aware that i would probably have more energy, i don't actually wish that i were younger. i'm 39 and have a 3 year old and 8 month old.
ask me when they're in college or i'm waiting for grandchildren, and i might have a different answer!
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I'm 5 yrs younger and feel like I am 60
I think you are rocking it with two! I feel like I am a mombie 99% of the time! -
@ShootingStar: happy birthday!
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Sometimes, but only because I wanted more than two children. I'll be 31 when this one is born and this pregnancy is rougher than my last. We are probably done, but I definitely had more energy in my 20s. But I am glad that we waited because we had a lot of time as a couple.
ETA: people in my circle of friends/church tend to have babies younger, so I was an older FTM by those standards.
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@avivoca: didn't know you were expecting again! Congrats!!
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@Jackiedavis87: it really is so different by area. I had my first at 31 and now that she is in school all of her friend's moms are 5-7 years older than I am.
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@oliviaoblivia: same I'm fairly young for northeast standards! Also most of my friends didn't have kids til 30s either.
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Sure, but I try not to obsess over what I cannot change. I knew I'd marry & have kid(s) later in life, and so reconciled my feelings about all that before I ever got here.
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I'm turning 33 this year and have a 3.5 yo and 8 month old and a maybe baby 3 in the plans. I'm exhausted even when I get sleep. I was just telling DH I can't even imagine being pregnant with a third and going through the symptoms.
I don't wish we had kids earlier though. I still feel like I'm one of the young ones when I go to ds' preschool. And I feel like we had them on the earlier side compared to some of my friends who still aren't ttc! I'm also more active and fit than I was in my 20s.
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I had kids at 35 and 36, and I'm pretty happy about when we decided to have them. But maybe it's because I'm too tired to remember my life before them
I don't feel physically less capable now than when I was younger, I'm really happy with the way we got to live our lives before kids, and I think our current work and social life makes having kid work out really well. Also, we are the young parents among our friends--we have several friends who had kids recently in their 40's--so I just don't think about this particular what-if.
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I wish DH was younger. I'm going to be 33 this year and he turned 45 at the end of last year. We have an 8 month old. I feel a bit rushed in deciding if we should go for a second or not due to his age. Clearly he can have children for many more years but I don't want him to be 50 with a newborn.
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@coopsmama: were the same age and our kids are around the same ages and I am also pregnant with number 3. It's 745 here and I'm dying. I thinks parenting that makes you tired, not age! lol at least in this case!
My bigger concern with age and childbearing is age-related infertility.
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