I am beyond upset, mad, frutrated...I just feel I could explode and the feeling I cant put into words. So "whatever" right now I want to break down and cry. Sorry I just need to vent, but also wondering if anyone else deals with custody issues.
Its been too long, its been too much. The thought of the time DH has been robbed with DD kills me like a knife to my heart. I hate the games....Gosh why cant his ex see what it is doing to this sweet little 8 yr old girl. She cries when we take her home, or locks herself in a room not wanting to leave. When will we get her again...we dont know. Neither does she. Breaking the parenting plan, she doesnt care. All we can do is put her in contempt of court which wont do anything unless we go to court. We already put thousands into a lawyer. Trying to re-do the parenting plan. Hopefully she signs it, if not need to fork out a few thousand more for court fee's. Parenting plan we have sucks. During their divorve she held DD from him for over half a year until he would sign it. Finally did wanting to see his DD when she met him in a parking lot saying he could see her and saw her in the car crying and wanted to see her so bad after so long, she said NOT until you sign, and so he caved and signed the HORRIBLE parenting plan. We were suppose to get her after xmas this year. Surprising her with Disneyland. She doesnt know. Last week ex acted like she knew nothing about it, even though DH talked to her twice about it. Now we have just over 2 wks before we are suppose to go and she wont return our calls. We have been trying for a week to get ahold of her. We cant even ever call to talk to DD. She will last minute let us know via text when we can have her like she always does. DD is afraid to call DH Daddy, "It hurst mommys feelings and makes mommy cry". She at 8 is old enought to understand. She has broke down crying saying she is scared because she doesnt want to leave us, because sometimes its a long time before she gets to see us again and it scares her not to know and afraid it will be a long time. She said she knows she can come see us anytime, but is afraid to upset mommy if she asks to see us or even to call us. TWICE, she has asked "If her other mommy and daddy died, THEN could she live with us" How morbid is that? Does she not see what she is doing to her daughter? To clarify we NEVER talk bad about ex or Step Dad. Because we wont be "those" parents who do that to a child and trash talk the other parents. My heart feels so broken right now. Its just so much to deal with. I love her more than anything. Never have I asked her, or have we told her she has to call me Mommy since becoming a "Step mommy". It honors me that she chooses to. but is afraid her mom with find out. I would do and give anything for her, ugh, on comes the tears...at work not cool. I just cant get over the time, the struggle, gosh just the TIME we cant get back. I have watched DH battle this since DD was three, being 8 now looking back kills me. Its so hard to not "flip out" or vent beyond belief to DH, I try not too because its his baby girl, this is so hard on him I try to be strong....its just so hard...
Thanks for letting me vent. Just struggling with this, it has its ups and downs....just really down recently.