My mom is driving me crazy. She keeps buying and making stuff for the nursery that I don't like at all. I have a very specific look that I want (think Anthropologie for baby) and she just doesn't get it. I appreciate her, but not when she steps on my plans for MY baby. This is my first baby and I want her nursery to be beautiful and my taste, not my mom's. If I say anything to her, she acts all offended and hurt. Ugh!!
Anyone else going through this? Advice?
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@CatchAFallingStar: Is it possible to get her focused on a project that plays to her strengths?
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That is rough. Does she live nearby? Maybe she can have a space for the baby at her house where she can use the stuff.
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Is your mom my mom???? They sound like THE SAME PERSON. I haven't had to deal with this yet but I know it's coming because she did the same thing with my wedding and I'm dreading it. I found with wedding stuff the pps suggestion of specific projects was helpful. Gave her a purpose but made it more to my taste... I don't have great advice because I deal with a huffy, offended mom frequently haha
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I can commiserate! I love my mom and she's normally very reasonable but for some reason having a grandchild has made her crazy. But she's far away and I think she just really wants to feel involved. Maybe there's something baby related but not related to the nursery you could ask for her help with? Or could you take her shopping with you so she can get an idea of the types of things you do like? Good luck, I know it's hard!
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My mom was the same exact way. I can't tell you how many little projects she did for the nursery without telling me. Knit blankets, quilts, cross-stitching, paintings, etc.
I realized it just wasn't worth hurting her feelings over. I did mention to her that I wanted her to run things by me first, and she started doing that.
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Can you just accept the gifts graciously and then not display them? I sort of had a vision for our nursery and we got a lot of gifts that didn't really fit the theme. But I ended up using at least half of them--because I realized that babies don't really care if their nurseries look like a magazine, but they might have good memories of the mobile Aunt Jen made, and the bow holder Nana gave, you know?
The rest of the stuff, I just keep in the closet or her dresser. We got a LOT of baby blankets and knit baby sweaters and I just have them in the dresser drawer, unused. I appreciate the thought though!
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Not my mom, DH mom. I'm 1 week before my due date and 2 weeks ago her husband kicked her out so she temporarily had to stay with us (tonight is the last night, thank god). She is driving me mental, honestly mental. I've never been so close to leaving my own house, I stay upstairs hours and hours each day as I can't bear to be around her. I think she assumes this is me being "lazy" at 9 months pregnant because I'm not downstairs cleaning and cooking.
If she makes one more comment about how she thinks the right way to raise a child I think I might cook her head in the oven for dinner
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@CatchAFallingStar: Just tell her that she had her babies, but this one is yours. I agree with pp that you should give her a project or links to things you like. If it were my mom, I'd give her a link, and then she'd buy some cheaper look-a-like, but it still works, lol.
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Yup. We just bought our first house and will be transitioning DD to a toddler bed when we move. I was looking forward to picking out bedding, when my mom went ahead and ordered some, embroidered with DD's name on it. She just casually mentioned one day "oh I ordered some bedding for E" I snapped at her and told her it was MY house and I wanted to decorate the room. Luckily, when the bedding arrived I liked it, but still.....it was something I had wanted to do for DD. But now mom knows to back off in the future.
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@BeachMama: Wow. Sounds so much like something my mom would do!!! They seem to think since it's THEIR grand baby that they have the right to step on our toes. I know it's all out of love, but it's so annoying. Let's not be this way when our kids have kids!!
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@loki: Ugh. It's the worst. Glad you're in this with me!
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@Anagram: I could, but she lives 10 minutes away and would notice. Yes, you're right. I shouldn't worry so much about a picture-perfect nursery, but it's my first baby and our new house and I just have a dreamy idea in my head!! I don't want her to ruin it.
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@Mrs tartan: Yikes. Glad she's not staying with you anymore!! I bet you feel great having your home back.
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@Dandelion: Good idea. I've already done that but she makes things that I want in the wrong colors!! Or buys things I want but in the wrong styles. UGH!
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@Radish: Yeah, I should tell her that!! Good thinking!
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