I've been feeling really frustrated this last month. After spending a month at my parents' over Christmas I came home to an empty house and full-on solo parenting for LO. DH was on business trip and didn't get home until 10 days after I did. LO has gotten so much more mobile lately, and is seriously into everything. I spend most of my day cleaning up after him, and the house is still a disaster at the end of the day when I have zero energy left. So those 10 days were super hard. Plus DH hadn't gotten around to child-proofing the cupboards. About half of them are done now, but he has been dragging his feet.

I bought him a remote control holder for Christmas and asked that he use it, rather than leaving them on the coffee table or couch for LO to play with. The batteries keep falling out, so it's a real hazard. He NEVER remembers, and I just had to take them from LO again, which invariably causes a meltdown.

Yesterday was particularly trying, so I handed LO off to DH when he got home from work, and took a long hot bath. DH had him for 1 1/2 hours, which included feeding him and putting him to bed. He started supper, but didn't clean up either the kitchen or disaster of a living room. After supper, he spent the rest of the evening on the couch watching tv. I sat on the other couch with a book but not really following what I was reading.

I need a break, but I don't know how to get one. DH went on a guys skiing weekend this past weekend, so I was solo parenting again. When he came home mid-day on Valentine's Day, I had yet to go to the grocery store. I cleaned out the fridge and made my grocery list, and was finalizing what to make for dinner, as I wanted it to be a little more fancy than usual. DH asked me at least three times when I was going to the store. It wasn't like it was closing soon, or even that we were coming up on dinner-time - the last time was 3 o'clock! After I snapped at him, he apologized. I know it's coming from his PTSD, but it puts unreasonable pressure on me to meet his imaginary timelines.

This really sounds like a post bashing DH, but it's not. Granted, I have been feeling frustrated by his lack of follow-through on things. And I feel unreasonably mad about stupid stuff. But more importantly, I am feeling frustrated by my inability to look after my own mental health, and dictate my own needs. I'm feeling so stir crazy and snowbound. It's really cold and snowy, and it seems to take so much effort to bundle LO up and go out. I'm also feeling a lack of motivation to do anything myself. I need to find a gym to start working out, as that always helps clear my head, but I keep finding reasons to procrastinate. Like, my carpal tunnel started flaring up again after taking LO swimming by myself this weekend. I don't want to get to the point where I am resenting DH, but I think if I don't take charge of my mental health soon, I am really heading there (maybe I already am). I can't seem to break out of this funk, and I don't think I can be the best wife and mother in my current state.

Am I alone in feeling this way? Looking for support and suggestions on where to go from here.