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@KayKay: I agree with this. Until you get diligent about sticking to a budget, cash is the best method for a while. We would take out enough cash for the month but only put in weekly amounts.

@cole: ha. i hear ya. the technology solutions can be helpful guides if you are both invested in budgeting and involved in the monitoring. our biggest issue with them was that, while i would log-in and see our stats every day, DH didn't have the time (or inclination) to do that. we did try a weekly "state of the union" meeting where I would talk him through that month's budget, how our spending was that week, where we were per category, etc....because he honestly just didn't have a clue a lot of times. maybe something like that would be a good first step? basically it built really good awareness for us...but like I said, wasn't urgent/real-time enough to actually effect changes in our decision making and stay ON budget.

We don't use YNAB, we have mint, my husband likes it because it's free, lol.

Given what you've written in your original post, @Cole: I would take a more proactive approach when doing the forecast portion of the budget. You wrote your husband thinks $50 is a reasonable clothing budget. If you think it isn't (and we know it isn't, especially for the season, but maybe the month), plan out what you think is needed then bring evidence to the table. I do this with my husband, who thinks big picture versus individual items. It was helpful for him to see how much each piece cost and then develop the monthly target from there.

One thing that keeps us accountable is the use of email alerts on our credit cards. When I went back to work, I was overspending a lot in buying clothes for me. I was literally doing $200 a week and it was too much. So to keep us in check, my husband set up email alerts for any amount that we spend on our credit cards. It really helps me to think about the fact that he's going to know as soon as it happens, and vice versa.

Using cash isn't practical for us...I know it's a good solution, my inlaws use it successfully.

I tried mint and i looked into ynab but they just dont work for me... I get paid weekly and my husband gets paid biweekly we have payments that have to be made weekly, monthly, quarterly and yearly. What has worked for us (me since i'm the CFO) is an excel sheet similar to a check book register... I have it on Google docs so both hubs and I have access but i maintain it. I try to forecast out 3 months ahead and I can see if there are any low spots we need to be careful of or if there are payments we can move around. Every friday after I get paid I pay the bills for that week, I write the daycare check, our spending allowance gets moved to our individual accounts (this money is for coffee, lunch out, treats for our selves, etc) I have a line item for weekly groceries, and one for Fun Money (dinner out or take out, movies, etc) Some weeks are more spendy then others and I have to add lines in (birthday gift for mom, sick appt for DD, fix tire on car) But as much as i can I try to add the lines in and account for them before they happen if i'm doing August and i know I'll need an oil change I make it a line item. Now that we've been using this system for a few years it helps to look back at the year before to know when we got the escrow increase bill (ie christmas) and budget for extra expenses or on the flip side increases (i get my raises in july, hubs in april, tax refunds, bonus checks, etc). I also put a line in each month for savings the goal is 1k/month that gets moved to the savings account. but if i need to make adjustments that usually the first place money get subtracted from but i still consider putting $600 in savings a win.