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@DesertDreams88: That's so great about your new doctor! I went through the same thing. I switched to my SIL's practice and started seeing a female who specialized in NaPro (not on purpose, I wasn't TTC yet, but it ended up being great because she knows how to read charts and I was charting).
When I had my MC her response was "Well, at least we know you can get pregnant!"...NOT so great to hear in that moment. And I always felt rather rushed by her and she was very .... clinical.
I switched to a guy my SIL recommended and OMG I love him! His wife works in the front office and I've been so tempted to remind her how lucky she must be if he's that kind and listens so well to patients! lol.
But he takes a ton of time with me no matter what I'm going in for and was much more caring and compassionate.
@hilsy85: I feel very much the same way. Although I think now that we've passed the 1 year mark, I'm dealing better with my MC.
But I know DH doesn't feel as pressured as I do to get KU. I don't think he has any idea that I technically now have unexplained infertility, or that there are issues since nothing has happened yet. Even when I started Progesterone and I explained to him why, he didn't "get" it (he asked me if it was working...and I had to be like...um, if it was working I'd be pregnant!)
I think we're going to have to just sit down and have a serious conversation about it. I've tried talking to him about how alone I feel in this struggle...but I know he doesn't feel the same way so I can't expect him to suddenly change and understand. I'm hoping maybe since I'll be talking about IF at my next appointment, maybe then it will hit him that this is not an easy thing and having kids is not a guarantee.
@HappyBluebird: I am so sorry. that has to be incredibly rough.
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@jaguar, @desertdreams88, @fannymae, @hilsy85, @valentinemommy: thank you ladies!
@jaguar: I’m praying the timing of all of this works out perfectly for you. This needs to be your good in all of this struggle.
@desertdreams88: The right doctor makes such a difference. You know yourself best, and if temping is working for you…stick with it.
@hilsy85: Yes. This is exactly how I felt after every miscarriage. And then I would get pregnant and have a glimmer of hope and then miscarry again. I just kept getting left behind and it was so heartbreaking. So, I know the feeling…it sucks, and I’m so so sorry that you’re feeling it. It’s what started to make me feel cynical towards everything and everyone, and even right now, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop any second. Praying that this passes quickly for you and you have good news to share soon.
@happybluebird: the bills are such a racket. You would think that they would be less for someone going through such pain.
@MaryM: That response was by far the worst. It's just not at all helpful.
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@DesertDreams88: Oh. And on temping, I would keep doing it if it helps ease your anxiety.
My doctor told me I could take a break after my MC until I was more regulated, but I didn't want to at all. I find I get even more anxious if I don't know what's going on. I like to have the data to keep me from going completely crazy.
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@HappyBlueBird: The bills totally suck, and it's crazy how much everything costs even with insurance. So not only is the loss emotionally gut wrenching, but also a financial setback, that impacts the next pregnancy.
@MaryM: Temping keeps me from going crazy too. For example, I'm on CD30 yet I'm not wondering where my period is, I'm not taking HPTs, and I'm not getting crushed over BFNs. Why? Because temping tells me that I haven't ovulated yet, and I know its due to the flu. I would be freaking out if I wasn't temping.
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@hilsy85: I feel this. I won't be even close to being 'ok' until we get pregnant again.. and stay pregnant. I wish I had a better answer for you.
@HappyBluebird: Oh darl. It's the hardest part... the gift that keeps on giving. I had a breakdown when we got all of our bills. All the money we spent on IVF, the money we spent on progesterone to stay pregnant, the money to our OB... only to have the pregnancy end, and then even MORE money for the d&c, path, bloods, etc. It's the cruelest joke of all. Sending you lots of strength.
@MaryM: It's so hard communicating with our men folk. I think most women research the crap out of fertility and TTC (or infertility, if that may be the case) and it can be frustrating when men just don't GET it. Good luck hashing it out together. x
@2PeasinaPod: No other shoes will be dropping. 2015 is going to be amazing for you. It's off to a brilliant start! What you said about being left behind... that's totally how I have felt since the first m/c, let alone the second m/c. So hard being around people who've moved on and will have their BABIES, before we even conceive again - if we're lucky.
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I've been absent for a few days, so mind me as I catch up!
@DesertDreams88: It's great that you've gotten your dream teaching job! Sorry about the loss of your Grandmother. It sounds like you really need some good luck! FX for you.
@MaryM: I get you on the temping. I want to be able to watch and celebrate the little body regulation victories! It also took me a while to get into temping, and to do it every day, so i wanted to start again right away so that by the time I am TTC again it's not a struggle.
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@DesertDreams88: Exactly! Sometimes I'll feel off at the beginning of a cycle and start to wonder...hey...maybe that light period wasn't a period at all and was IB. But I can snap myself out of it by knowing that my temps have dropped so, duh. I'm so not pregnant.
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@auggiefrog: Welcome back, hope all is well!
Bloods today, after 5 days of Gonal-F. Should hear results this afternoon... hopefully it's continue as normal. I'm so nervous!
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@jaguar: FX everything is great!!
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Hcg finally down to 1 and I'm done being a pin cushion. Finally finally over.
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@travellingbee: That's great, hon. Moving forwards.
More bloods Monday... levels still low and no signs of O yet. I'm a bit worried. The nurse said if they were still really low on Monday, they'd look at upping the dosage. Getting scared about this time frame, man. Couldn't things just go on time for ONCE?
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@travellingbee: Woot for done being a pin cushion!
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Oh man... rough day.
A girl in my old mum's group lost a baby in December, and I gave her loads of support, because it was an early loss similar to my second miscarriage. I think she was appreciative, and it made me feel better to be helping someone. Well, she posted today. Turns out that she got pregnant the cycle after her loss.. and posted scan pics today... of twins. Naturally, of course. I am just a fucking wreck.
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@jaguar:
big hugs...I feel you.
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@jaguar: arrrrghhh!!! super hugs to you, you definitely deserve a cocktail or two on your holiday
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Sorry for offloading again. It's just all these good, brilliant, happy things keep happening to everybody else. I selfishly wish it was us/and you guys.
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@jaguar: its not selfish to wish it was you!
its rough. I ran into a friend in the shops the other day who is due in about 6 weeks, and she looked me up and down and said "hope its not long for you *wink wink*" It took all my strength not to smack a pregnant woman in the face hahaha
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@FannyMae: ha, I'm glad you restrained.
Well, just got the baby shower invite for SIL. This is going to suck.
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Not great for us & this FET so far...
E2 levels still low (after 7 days of stims) and no signs of ovulation. I have to up my dose of Gonal-F from 50 to 75 for the next few days, and more bloods on Thursday. Worried we won't make this transfer before our holiday.
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@jaguar: Never apologize to us! I had to hide a friend recently who announced she was pregnant with twins. To make it sting a little more, they weren't even trying.
My fingers ache from how hard they've been crossed for you!
So, DH and I are starting to prepare to list our house. My sister wants a desk that was my mom's, so I was cleaning it out last night. I found a little piece of an email my father sent me 11 years ago (he passed away in 2009).
I have no idea what the context was, but he wrote one line: "What would be the point in living without daughters?"
It's sort of stopped me in my tracks. I mean, I'm not really sure that I totally believe in signs, but holy hell. I can't NOT hope that it was not only in reference to his own life, but also hopefully to mine someday soon.
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@MaryM: I hope it's an omen for YOUR future too. xxxx
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@jaguar: Thanks love!
I survived an uncomfortable (for me) dinner last night. my SIL texted us on Sunday saying she was sorry for the last minute notice, but BIL wanted to go to dinner monday night for his birthday. I was really praying the weather would cancel it...
It was at his 30th birthday party last year that we told his family we were pregnant. Ugh. And MIL is notorious for saying the wrong thing (like when we gave her a framed photo of DH and I for Christmas, she said "I was hoping it would be of a baby"...)
But we survived. It ended up being much smaller than last year and was a nice meal. And SIL primed me with wine before the rest of the family (who are always late) got there.
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@jaguar:
I hope that's not the case and you get to have the transfer before your vacation. Fingers crossed @MaryM: Glad your dinner wasn't too hard! It's nice you have a SIL who understands the need for wine sometimes
Do I remember right that you have a WTF appointment this week?
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@HappyBluebird: Not until next month.
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@MaryM:
bummer. The waiting sucks
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@HappyBluebird: Meh. Whatever. I'm feeling kind of ok with just going with the flow this month before asking for more help
(though I might not feel that way next week when I'm half way through a TWW)
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@MaryM: I'm glad you're feeling ok with it
hope next week your still feeling good
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I am so freaking angry. Despite jabbing Gonal-F for the last 10 days, my levels are still too low to be doing anything. We're not going to make a transfer before this trip. Why does EVERYTHING always go wrong for us? I swear, we're cursed.
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@jaguar: I'm so angry for you! I'm so bummed you won't get to do a transfer before your vacation.
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@jaguar: I'm so sorry Jag... I keep praying that things turn around for you.
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@jaguar: Oh no, so frustrating
! Is that a new decision, after your blog post this morning/last evening?? And I imagine that would that mean that you probably have to wait out the whole cycle before starting the whole process over again....? ugh.
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I wouldn't waste the good thoughts or crossed fingers, lol - we don't seem to be on a very lucky streak lately.
So newest update is ... we'll do an ultrasound Monday and make the call then. And yeah, if it's over, we have to wait.. again.
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@jaguar: I'm so sorry this has been such a roller coaster.
I have my yearly OBGYN exam tomorrow. I'm bringing my notes/results from my RE and hope he's willing to work with us on some of the procedures I'll need.
I just need a few things to go our way right now.
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@Crystal: I hope it went/goes well! I'm terrible with time differences.
Yeah, I'd really like some stuff to go our way too. I just really, really want to be pregnant.
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@jaguar: when do you leave on vacation?
It looks like my OBGYN might be willing to work with me on a few things, and I can start clomid soon. Yay!!!
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@hilsy85: I have been feeling the same way lately. It's weird because after the MC I cried hard and was really upset for a day or two and then I thought I was "over" it. But in the past month or so, seeing so many friends get pregnant just makes me sad all over again. I don't have any advice but I'm sorry you're feeling the same way.
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Our cycle just got cancelled. Another cyst is there, no dominant follicles, baseline E2 even after 14 days of stims. On birth control pill for another cycle …. what a waste.
We leave Wednesday 11th.
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@jaguar: I've been thinking about you SO much lately
I hope you can still have a great vacation and get a little break from all the heartache @Crystal: I am so excited for your answers from your doctor!
AFM, I survived the one year anniversary of our MC. It happened to fall the same day that DH and I met with a stager about selling our house and went to get preapproved with the bank to buy a new one. It was an incredibly overwhelming day, but that was probably best so I didn't really have much time to dwell on anything.
14 more days until my next WTF appointment (not that I'm counting or anything)
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@jaguar: oh no, I am so sorry. I hope you can enjoy your vacation- sounds like you need it after this.
@MaryM: I really hope my dr comes through. I need this.
I am so sorry about your "anniversary", but congratulations on the exciting house news!
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@Crystal: I think I'll be more excited once our realtor helps us prioritize our SEVEN PAGE long staging check list.
Do I remember right that you have a WTF appointment this week?
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