Bringing your older preschooler when touring preschools

By Corduroy Jul 25, 2016

My 3.5 yo LO is super excited for preschool but I haven't found her one yet. We're finally touring two tomorrow. Both asked that I bring LO so I plan to but I'm afraid she's going to be confused that we're looking at two and disappointed that she's not necessarily starting preschool now.

She's currently in FT daycare (and she might stay there for up to another year if I don't like the options tomorrow). She knows she and her friends are "growing up" and moving to preschool. Any tips on how to make the tours a positive experience for LO? Should I not bring her?

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15 comments

HappyBaker
nectarine / 2242 posts

Jul 25, 2016

@Corduroy: Ooh that is so tough! DD is almost 4 and I think she would be confused / disappointed if she loved a school and we decided not to send her there. Is it possible to go yourself for the first visit and then if it's still a contender bring her?
Shantuck
pear / 1767 posts

Jul 25, 2016

We've toured a series of schools for DS and some have specifically prohibited bringing kids but we didn't bring him to the tours he was permitted to attend. I'd honestly prefer not to be focused on watching him so I can focus on asking the right questions, etc. I felt like my husband and I knew what was best for him and it was ultimately our decision to make.
Foodnerd81
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts

Jul 25, 2016

This hadn't even occurred to me. I'm planning to bring my 3 year old to visit a preschool next week - my mom will be with me to help mind her so I can talk to the director. I think she will be ok, just bummed when we have to leave.
skipra
pomegranate / 3350 posts

Jul 25, 2016

I brought DS to look at preschools and he did love all of them but there have been no issues and he understands he will not be going to all of them. Think of all the places you just visit once. It will probably just be a fun place that you brought her to play one time.
Truth Bombs
grapefruit / 4321 posts

Jul 25, 2016

I guess it depends on how much you're willing to consider her preference. For instance, if she really seems to connect best at a certain place, but it's the most expensive, are you willing to pay extra for that? I wouldn't want to bring her and have her display a clear favorite and then not send her there. But if you're willing to listen to her opinions (to an extent of course) I think it would be great to bring her. My friend actually recently brought her 3.5 year old on a preschool tour and when they were in the room that her LO would be in she tugged on her mom's hand and looked up and said "mom, can we please leave? I really want to leave."..... and that was all my friend needed to know about that.
looch
wonderful pear / 26210 posts

Jul 25, 2016

I toured with my son, but he didn't want to go to any school, lol.

The school we ended up with though, the director is what sealed the deal for my son. We went on a tour of the classrooms with her and she and my son clicked and that was that. The good news is that my husband and I had already decided that this school was "the one."
bushelandapeck
pomelo / 5720 posts

Jul 25, 2016

We chose not to tour with DS, mainly because I was worried that I wouldn't be able to really focus on the tour because I would be trying to keep track of him, and I didn't think he would want to participate because he's like that in new settings.
OldpuebloJenn
kiwi / 595 posts

Jul 25, 2016

We toured with out our DD, and then when we had chosen, we brought DD to school to see how she felt there.
Corduroy
pomelo / 5258 posts

Jul 25, 2016

Thanks for all the input. I think I'll tour without her tomorrow, especially thinking about how little I actually know about these two particular schools.
Ginabean3
pomegranate / 3401 posts

Jul 25, 2016

We have a 3.5 year old and we just toured 4 schools with her. She did fine at all of them and actually played with the kids a bit while we were getting the info/tour from the director. It was cool to see how she acclimated to the different environments. The one we ultimately ended up picking we (and she) loved the best!
JoyfulKiwi
nectarine / 2667 posts

Jul 25, 2016

If they asked me to bring my LO, I probably would. They may have a reason for that (my son's preschool has multiple rooms and they let the touring child explore/play in each room while they give the tour to parents).
I don't think she'd really be upset or confused if you talked to her about it and explained that you want to see if another classroom would be right for her.. 3.5 is old enough to understand the idea of a "visit".
Mrsbells
squash / 13199 posts

Jul 26, 2016

@Corduroy: I think if you explain that you are going to look at different schools and will pick one later she should grasp it to some extent. If you ultimately dont like that school and dont take her back, she will soon forget about it
birdofafeather
pineapple / 12053 posts

Jul 26, 2016

i did bring her to some and not to others but that was due to schedule, not me purposefully not bringing her. i was actually put off by one school that i thought i'd love because they were very brisk and rude when we dropped by even though LO was there. so yeah, if that's the way they treat me with my kid there, then i'm out.
MaisyMay
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6703 posts

Jul 26, 2016

W are doing this right now with daycare/preschools. Our preference is to have both kids with us so we can see how they connect. We have been telling our 3.5 year old that they are playdates so she doesn't get too attached and so she doesn't tell her current daycare we are shopping around for somewhere new.
Corduroy
pomelo / 5258 posts

Jul 26, 2016

@MaisyMay: Playdates, that's a good way to describe it.

I did end up bringing LO to both schools this morning. She seemed fine in both environments but was a little uneasy about entering the second one. She freaked out about her water bottle in the car and we had to go back and get it.

Both schools seem fine. They're the only 2 of the 6 schools I wanted to check out that had openings. I can't tour the remaining ones until there are openings. It's hard to decide when I can't even see the others.

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Bringing your older preschooler when touring preschools

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