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We have the situation in the reverse, where I am the one that buys stuff and my husband is like WTF is this for?

The only thing that kind of helps is that we pretty much only buy from Amazon now, so I can see what he orders and he can see what I order and vice versa.

@looch: Ha, me too. I impulse buy stuff for the kids all the time and my husband just rolls my eyes and suggests I might be spoiling them.

I'm not sure that parents usually consult on stuff like this - if it's stuff they need or bigger items I'll consult but things like the stuff you've mentioned I would just buy. Sometimes I try to consult with him and he doesn't seem to care, sometimes I really want to get something and know if I "ask" him then he might try to talk me out of it (*cough*bouncycastle*cough*) That being said, it doesn't bother my husband.

I am definitely more then buyer in our relationship but for big items we usually consult. Mostly because we both get excited to buy something cool! DW is more practical and thinks things through a lot more...which means she can be at a store for 3 hours and not buy anything ha

I did recently get a free used play tent that DW rolled her eyes at but I just said I was getting it and we could give it away if he didn't like it...we still have it but I joked she can't come in it because it was my idea

I've been buying a lot of things for DS at Costco and basically just told her I would get what I wanted when I saw it and if she didn't like it I could return it which she agreed to.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: We almost always run kid purchases by the other, or let's say 80% of the time. We live in a small place, so we really have to.

Sometimes one of us will randomly buy a toy or something we see for agood deal---but my husband and I both have very strong opinions about, well, everything. So it's really best for us to negotiate a bit before buying more toys.

DH would need to consult me before he buys anything, which he rarely does. I don't have to consult him unless it's a big purchase.

We consult each other if it is something that will take up room. So books, small toys, etc-- I have no issue with whatever he buys. But I'd be annoyed if he bought a tent bc it takes up a lot of room and i feel like that's something we should decide together.

DH doesn't buy anything for our LOs. He does take the older one for experiences more often (and I assume will continue with DD2). I generally make a list for birthday and Christmas and run it by him to get his input but he usually defers to me unless he thinks something's really silly or over the top.

DH rarely buys anything for the kids, but complains when I do, haha. Sometimes he'd like input (bikes), and some things I tell him I'm not buying b/c I know nothing about it, and he does (soccer equipment).

Often DH says he wants to buy them something (bikes) but doesn't get around to it, so I just buy anyway. I used to want and wait for his opinion on things, but now I realize that getting it might mean I wait a LONG time.

In general, if I want them to have it, I need to purchase it. I try to run it by him if it's going to take up real estate (like an activity table or tent), but ultimately I am the one who looks at it all day and knows what will really work the best, so I give myself overrule/veto power.

SO IN SHORT:
I don't think consulting is really necessary, unless one of you is doing all the buying and the other feels cheated/like they are missing out on the fun. It sounds like you might feel that way (and I get it - in your shoes, I'd feel that way too!!) - so in your case, maybe you and DH can come to an agreement about shopping together for bigger items, or limiting small purchases made without talking to a certain quantity or dollar amount so that you both get to do some selecting?

We do birthdays and Xmas together but other than that it's usually me that buys stuff because I do the runs to target/wherever. Sometimes Dh buys stuff but if it's not a big purchase it's nbd whether I like it or not. We don't have to keep it forever. If he brought home a duplicate we'd just return it. We also rotate some of the toys using plastic bins so I don't have to keep EVERYTHING out all the time. (With dd she was at home full time til three and we've kept stuff between kids and are expecting #3 soon so we can't have all of that stuff out all the time.) Now for ME if my Dh was constantly buying stuff, even little stuff, I would have to argue about that because I don't want the house to look like hoarders!!

I wishlist whatever I think the boys will like for toys/games but then review the items with DH before buying them or recommending to family to buy them. With clothes DH is particular with what he likes for the boys so I take that into account when buying or recommending to family what to buy.

"I can buy him whatever I like whenever"

Whoa. What? No. Nobody gets to buy whatever they like whenever they want. Your/DH's money is yours, collectively, as a married couple. You both get input on how it's spent. That's how marriage works.

Your DH's behavior would be a huge issue in our household, since we take a slightly minimalist approach to toys/gear and I'd be pretty appalled by a never ending stream of large expensive toys showing up, but it sounds like you're pretty cool with it so I guess if it works for you that's great.

We discuss bday/Christmas presents but I pretty much do all of the buying and rarely consult him. He also doesn't care and would be completely fine with not discussing presents . He will sometimes get them something small and he doesn't ask.

I think we just trust each other to make good decisions and he knows I would want a say in anything big so he leaves that stuff to me. I think it also helps that we have separate finances so if I buy the kids something just because I do it out of my own money. Presents and stuff that they need we go halvies on.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: What's the matter with the tent? Do you not like it?

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Yeah I think you did great. Kid things tend not to be so pretty. We had a cheaper one of those and it didn't last more than a few months because dd broke it acting wild. (If I remember right she was hiding? Or something like that and ran in and pulled on a pole thing that was in there and it snapped. We temporarily fixed it for awhile but then got rid of it.) Which I didn't mind because I didn't want it in my living room forever. So there's always that.

I agree with Truthbombs. 100%