Hellobee Boards

Expect things to be crazy for awhile, but know that you will hit your groove eventually.

I think the biggest thing that caught us off guard was lo1 adjustment. Dh took over most duties for her bc while she liked her new sister and realized I had to take care of her, lo1 howled anytime DH went near the baby, she was very jealous of visitors looking at baby too. So I donno exactly but looking back, dh needed more time with the baby than he got. Dd1 is a daddies girl and lo2 wasn't so we just went the path of least resistance. He did get baby time every day but he's mentioned a few times how he wished he got more baby time when lo2 was a newborn.

I wish we had spent more time getting DD1 used to daddy doing bedtime/ night wake ups/ mornings etc. Me being in hospital was very hard on E and, during the first two weeks I was home with baby, she would scream if DH tried to tend to her instead of me.

@ms. pug: get out of the house! Once baby grew out of the newborn stage (and had his jabs) we started going out most mornings and it was lifesaving because it gave our big girl something to do and got me out into adult company!

And I also have a laundry schedule so that I don't end up with a massive pile of washing to deal with..

And like @erinbaderin: said, babywearing is awesome!!

The things that made it easier for me with 2 under 2 was

1) babywearing for the win!
2) I had to accept the fact my house was going to be messy during the day. Once I let that go and did all my cleaning late at night, my days were much much more relaxed
3) LO1 will probably get more screen time. They'll survive.
4) Get out and get doing things to get into the routine of being out with two.

Have some easy mostly independent projects ready to go for LO1.

Crayola Color Wonder is great, and to me was worth the extra money for not having to closely monitor LO. The fingerpaint is his favorite but he also likes the markers plus coloring books.

Duplo kits. We bought two new ones and LO1 will play with those while I nurse LO2.

Stickers. lO1 is 2&1/2 so foam stickers to stick on construction paper are a huge hit.

We've had to relax on LO1's schedule a little bit, and some days we miss nap or bedtime isn't on time.

Have a safe place to set baby down quickly in every room. My toddler spent the first week really testing boundaries and there were several times I needed to set baby down to chase the toddler.

If you can swing it financially- a mothers helper, a day of drop in daycare or babysitter for the older child on days when you have doctor visits. Wrangling two at the doctors office is rough. And you can use the time with only the little one to run into the grocery store or another short errand too.

If your oldest has an attachment to a nearby relative or friend of yours, ask them to visit just to see the older child. One of my son's "uncles" did this and I think it helped diffuse a lot of the jealousy towards new baby.

A stockpile of your favorite granola bars and snacks. Some days I live off kind bars until DH arrived home. If you drink coffee pick up an extra bag of beans and stick it in your freezer. Have extras of staples on hand so you don't have to run out to the store or have a crappy day because you're out of your favorite treat and it's not worth it to drag two little to the store.

Have a few easy treats for yourself on hand. Self care during nap time or while OH is home is vital! Maybe it's splurging on your favorite bath products, a killer mascara or spending a few minutes reading a new book. But take the few minutes to take care of you.

@ms. pug: I was gonna suggest babywearing too. I used a woven wrap. We still use it now at 15m.

Making one on one time with LO1 was really important to me. So especially in the beginning I really made an effort to actually be the one to get DS to bed. (Mine are 21m apart).

@pregnantbee: mine were almost 4 years apart these are the things that really stuck out to me..

have some mama and kiddo dates before the baby comes, even if it's an ice cream sundae at home. focus some special time on the older kiddo because in reality, they won't get as much from you in the beginning.

my son really liked the gift from the baby and doing small jobs as well

Be prepared to lower your expectations.
A messy house is fine.
Cold pizza is a good enough lunch.
Screen-time is really not that bad.

I have a three year old, a 16 month old, and a three month old.

If your expectations are low you won't be disappointed.

I worried for months about adding our third and it's honestly been sooooo easy! Getting dressed is a big deal in those first couple weeks. I was always so impressed with myself if I'd managed a shower.

@junebugsmama: Haha! That's brilliant! Fancy appearing in dreams of people you've never met on the other side of the world!!

If having a clean house is important to you, think about hiring a cleaner. We cancelled ours when the baby arrived because I was going to be home - that lasted 6 weeks and then I had to call and get them to start coming again.

Oh and if possible have your older one start some kind of preschool or drop off program ahead of time so they are used to it an enjoy it before baby comes- then they don't feel like you are just sending them away to spend time with baby, and you get a little break.

DD handled the new baby incredibly well. I was surprised (and somewhat disappointed) how DH handled it. It was a big increase in workload for him because he had to do a lot more for LO1. If that might be an issue for you I would set those expectations low. Remember every period is just a phase, you'll figure out how to deal, and it will pass.

@PinkElephant: so cute!