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I live in Cary and love the area. If I could work from home, I would look at living in North Raleigh or Wake Forest but right now that commute to work is too much for me.
I think a lot of people move to the area and think the cost of living, quality of life is better than other areas. For people who have lived in the area a long time - it feels like traffic is worse and everything is more crowded.
For areas to consider, it depends on budget and if you want new build. If you want a new house - a lot of people are looking at West Cary, Holly Springs, Fuquay, Wake Forest or towns/communities outside of Wake County. If a new house isn't a must, you can find a lot of great homes in Cary and Raleigh.
I love being a few hours from the beach and mountains. We take advantage of a lot of the parks in the area - city, county, and state parks. I don't feel like there is anything that we are missing here. There are a lot of people who work in software in this area - seems like people I know in the field are able to find other jobs when there are layoffs.

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@ShootingStar: I have lived in Cary/Apex most of my life and there's really not anything that I dont like about the area. I'm not sure what you are looking for in schools, but in my opinion and as a teacher in the area, you will not find a bad school in Cary or Apex. The best way to learn about schools in NC in general is the NC Teaching Working Conditions survey. It provides a ton of data straight from the people who work in the schools. Happy teachers who are well supported by their admin and have the things they need to teach = students who learn. I wouldnt look at test scores at all. I would honestly choose where you live based on your commute to work and not factor schools in at all.

We just recently bought some land about 20ish minutes west of Cary/apex in NE Chatham county and love it here. We are 5 minutes from Jordan lake, 30 minutes from DH's office, and basically 20-25 minutes from Chapel Hill, Durham, Cary, and Apex, depending on which direction we go. Taxes are much lower here too, but I'm not sure how long that will last because it is booming out here. You get a lot more home for your money though, for sure. We built what feels like an enormous house on 2.5 acres for well below your budget.

Happy to share more detail privately if you want I just accepted a teaching position at the school up the road and I'm really excited about the fact that the teachers have more flexibility here. All the wake schools are good, but some are micromanaged and that sometimes makes it less fun to teach there.

I moved to Cary when I was 15 and my parents still live there. I lived in Durham for 4 years after college.

Cary has good schools, but doesn't have the "options" you'll find in Raleigh, Chapel Hill, Durham, etc. We were really interested in language immersion schools and they seemed to be everywhere except Cary/Apex/Morrisville.

My youngest brother was redistricted 4 times in elementary and middle but the last time in high school there was some level of choice offered. So he went to Apex High while another brother who was just 1 year older went to Green Hope.

I think Cary is beautiful, there are nice medians in the roads that are nicely landscaped and ever since moving away those have always struck me as such a nice feature.

As a young grad I found Durham to be more exciting, but Cary is very family friendly. Personally, I wouldn't move back there because it's not very walkable (good greenways for recreation, but not for shopping, commuting, etc.)

I love the greater Raleigh area though. I would probably look at Raleigh or Chapel Hill if we moved back.

I hope it works out, I really do! Good Luck!

@ShootingStar: Since you saw my post before I deleted it, how are schools worse, and why are the ones in NC any better? It's still America, with America problems, namely poverty. You live in a state where the school system is ranked in what, the top 10 nationally? NC is ranked in the 40s.

I am really trying hard not to fall into the trap of relying on rankings because they don't take several factors into play, like accounting for low income and ELL learners which exist in all parts of the country.

Oh, and I am hoping for a good outcome for your dad.

@ShootingStar: I am not sure. My parents have a big yard in an area with many new buildings but they live in a old farm house. When I was a kid we didn't have direct next door neighbors, but now there are. I found one tick crawling on DS1 when we were there in July. It's about what I would expect to playing outside in mowed grass in New England I think. Even more developed areas still have bunnies and deer and mice and such that carry tickets. There were ticks when I was a kid too. I wouldn't move to NC for tick free living.

My SIL and her family live in Apex and mostly like it. The public schools her children attend are year round. They've also been redistricted a few times which they didn't appreciate.
They moved from the metro NY area because of the cost of living and availability of jobs in their areas of expertise. My SIL does have a hard time with the political climate however. She finds NC to be much mor conservative than she's comfortable with, especially after living in NY.

@shootingstar: I imagine as more people from the Northeast relocate there, it will become more progressive. At least, I hope that's the case.