Hellobee Boards

I think it is different when you have kids... A lot more complicated. I would hope that we could potentially work through it but who really knows?

IDK, while I COMPLETELY understand what makes you feel that way, I would honestly love to make it work but ONLY as long as the other is 100% willing to work on it. I just feel as if we have already been through so much and with the help of God we can make it through anything.

I also think a lot has to do with if you've ever had to deal with infidelity before. I have, and tried to make it work. It didn't. That's me.
What works for one relationship, may not work for the other.
There are plenty of marriages that survive infidelity, and come out stronger for it, but I just don't see myself as ever being one of those people.

If you'd be willing to throw away your family (wife and/or wife and kids) to get in bed with someone else, that's enough for me. I will not stand for disrespect like that. We can get through many things together like financial trouble or a car accident, but I trust my spouse to not put me in harm's way... and cheating is damaging emotionally and could put me at huge risk for disease. Not ok.

We have discussed it, and both are on the same page with a zero tolerance for cheating. If either of us cheat, we are done. I don't expect that policy to change once I give birth.

Gosh, answering this question depends on so many things. The only thing that I can say with any confidence is that my opinion has changed over the years.

When I was younger, single and living in NYC, I was supporting myself and had a very strong sense that if I was in a relationship and was cheated on, I would have no problem leaving. After all, I had my own place, my own job, my own stuff going on. I couldn't understand people that would stay in a relationship in that situation. Then, I was in a long relationship and my ex boyfriend cheated. I didn't know until after it ended, but by then, the damage was done.

Now, I am married, a mom, living in a totally different country and staying at home with my son. If my husband were to cheat, I agree that it is an offense against the family. I wouldn't be able to leave so easily, I could go to a hotel for a few days, but then, I'd need an apartment, and without a job, no income to pay for it. I could get on a plane and go to my parents, but then there would be no turning back. So, now, I would really have to think long and hard about what I would do. I couldn't say unless I was in the situation.

Oh, another thing: cheating can be so many things, it doesn't just have to be limited to sleeping with someone else. I think that would be another factor for me.

When I was younger and not in a long-term, committed relationship, I always said I'd have zero tolerance for cheating. As I've gotten older, I've learned not to take an absolute stand on something that may never happen. You never truly know how you'll deal with a situation until you are actually in that situation. I've seen marriages fall apart due to cheating and I've seen marriages that have dealt with it (through separation/counseling) and become a stronger marriage. So I can't say I'd absolutley leave the marriage or try to work things out. I can't picture my husband or I ever cheating but people change. I'd like to think we'd work on our marriage before it gets to the point that one of us would cheat. Some people (men & women) will cheat just because they can and in some cases, it's an indicator of other issues in the marriage.

We have talked about this and both feel that we shouldn't put ourselves in a situation where you could cheat. Sometimes it is unavoidable (I travel a lot for work, but at the same time, I am very careful about who I spend time with while traveling).

If someone cheats, it is not the person they cheated with's fault. It is the fault of both people. I don't know what we would do if he cheated or v/v. We both take the commitment of marriage so seriously, though that it is not one of the things I worry about. We are both open with one another and if something were to come up where either one of us felt we wanted to, I would hope we could work through that without it actually happening. Figure out WHY the person thought about cheating. What aren't they getting from the other person in this relationship that made them consider it?

i agree with the posts above. we make sure we don't put ourselves in that kind of situation. i used to have zero tolerance for cheating, but i really don't know. i know my husband has zero tolerance. honestly, i think if my husband cheated, i'd try to work things out, but then, i just wouldn't trust him and that would end our relationship.

my husband and i have never cheated. and we have no plans to.

I don't think anyone PLANS on cheating, I think people and circumstances change. That's normal in a relationship, especially one that spans many years.

I have zero tolerance for cheating, but I know it would be really difficult to leave my husband (esp if he was regretful and apologetic).. esp since we have a baby now.
I also know that I wouldn't be able to live with someone I couldn't trust completely..
Thankfully my husband and I fear the Lord and have put up boundaries to prevent things like this from happening.

I think I would try to make it work even if my tolerence for cheating is zero too. It's easy to say that you'll say ciao ciao but when you are in the situation its harder and much more is involved.

For better or worse right?! If after seeing someone and it still doesn't work out, then it might be best to leave, but not before trying to work things out though. Majority of the time a cheater (male or female) is the result in the lack of something in the relationship. I'm not saying someone who cheats on the other then the other is to blame, but you have to understand that its somewhat intertwined.

I've never been cheated on, but I know there were doubt in our marriage a while back. Nothing happened and we realized our lack of communication was simply feeding the anxiety that the other was cheating. not fun!