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It's only the second week. I'd commit to a couple months before going to a nanny. You have a lot going on right now! You'll always have shitty weeks

i would also stick it out for a few months! DD went through a bit of separation anxiety at 18 months (after never meeting a stranger as a baby/young toddler) and also with a move, it can be a lot for a kiddo! you'll get in a groove and the socialization and easy access to your kiddo will be great! the monetary savings is an added plus!

I would stick it out. Nothing you mentioned seems like a deal breaker. For me, one of the biggest perks of daycare is the socialization. My LO is 22 months and always talking about her friends and teachers when we are at home. The other moms tell me that their kids do the same thing. Once yours gets to that point, I think you will feel alot better.

I would stick it out. It takes kids a while to adjust - I'd give it 2 months or so...especially since everything you have mentioned seems normal/safe.

As for the updates from the teacher - do they fill out a "How my day was" form? I really rely on this. In the past I have commented about not getting in person feedback from DDs primary caregiver and they have taken the time to give a more detailed summary on the form. May be an option. Plus - 7:45-4 with one teacher is pretty good. Anywhere you go its going to be not the full day simply bc of 8hr shifts!

@rolypoly: LO2 is 18 months and started school Monday (previously home with a nanny for the last year). She got a stomach virus yesterday, so I am right there with you.

LO1 went to school from 6 months until 28 months (when we pulled her from school and hired a nanny for several reasons). So I've been on both sides of the fence. There are pros and cons to daycare and pros and cons to a nanny. Neither situation is perfect.

It takes time for kids to adjust. Its brutal during the adjustment period, but it does get much better. And its so nice to see your LO develop friendships with their school friends. Have you talked to LOs teachers or the adminstration about what they can do and what you can do to make the transition easier?

What does LO's schedule look like for the day? Our school has recess twice a day (outside) for our 18 month old, but they also go to the music room, the gym, have story time, focus on gross motor skills, do art, etc. They are switching activities multiple times a day, so its not like being inside all day with a nanny.

How is staffing handled at LO's school? At our school there are 3 teachers for each room - 1 person opens and leaves early, 1 person closes and stays late, and there is another person (the lead teacher) that works 8-5). The lead teachers fill out the day sheet (so even if we don't get to talk to her, she leaves notes). We are also able to ask the closing teacher how LO did (because she was there most of the day too).

You need to do what works best for you. If you switch to a nanny, there will still be an adjustment period because its a new person. And unless you home school, someday LO will be in school.

You can do it. you will get through this. It WILL GET BETTER. The illnesses and figuring out work and care when your lo is sick is the hardest part. But once they (I hated when people said this to me but it's so, so true) build up that immunity, kids are so much healthier in general.

Who is in the room at pickup? Can you call the teacher before she leaves for the day for an update? I usually ask the afternoon teacher what she knows of the day and then the next morning talk to the morning teacher again. They should be passing info to each other, though! Do they send home notes? A good center will have no problem letting you call to ask questions or get a daily report before the main teacher leave.

ETA: We don't have backup care so I feel your pain there. When our lo was out for over a week with roseola, I called my mom in and she stayed with us for a few days until our lo could go back. Lean on whomever you can.

Agree with everyone – you need to give it more time before making a decision, if you want to give daycare a truly fair shot. He might have the same reaction to being left with a new nanny, anyway. My LO has been at the same center since she was an infant, and the transition between just *rooms* at the same center is rough. It takes her weeks and weeks to fully adjust.

A couple of things:

Most kids stop crying once mom and dad are out of eye-shot. My LO did this at your LO’s age; she would sob while I left, but once I was out of the room (I could still see/hear her, but she couldn’t see/hear me), she was fine. If there is a particular teacher/floater who could help your LO transition in the morning with maybe a special routine, that might help.

IMO, it isn’t that big of a deal that your LO doesn’t have just one teacher all day. Kids can form good, strong relationships with multiple caregivers at the same time. It doesn’t mean that your LO is missing out on anything because the same teacher isn’t there all day. He’s learning to trust multiple adults, which is a good thing!

Even at 18 months, your LO will form friendships quickly, and the activities that groups of kids can do are just different than those that will get done 1:1 with a parent or nanny. Sharing, patience, waiting one’s turn, etc. are easier lessons to teach through a group, where they just get learned naturally, by necessity. The positive peer pressure of daycare has been great for my LO, both in terms of social stuff and other things (she refused to drink milk, but after a few weeks of everyone at the lunch table drinking milk, LO got on board too. Now she loves milk!).

Transitions are hard – no easy way through time but time.

I agree with what previous posters have said - it's probably worth sticking it out for a little bit. My daughter is 23 months and she does come home and talk about her friends and her "teacher" from daycare. I think the socialization is one of the huge perks of a daycare center.

That said, I'm also a huge believer in the mama gut instinct, so if you're feeling awful about it and a nanny is affordable and feels like a better fit, trust your gut!

@rolypoly: i agree you should keep LO at school! I just wanted to add that it may be worth looking into services that can provide back up care--we are enrolled in one through my husband's work although we have never had to use it. It is like a nanny agency and they will come to your house and take care of your kid when they are too sick to go to daycare and you have to work.

We don't have family in town so it was important to have the option, although my job is flexible enough that we have been able to make it work.

i would stick it out for a couple more weeks. i know so many kids that had a hard time then magically flipped a switch and loved daycare. at that age it is so good for them i think. stay strong and i hope it works out!

i know your pain... the first two weeks of charlie's daycare (at 21 months) it hurt me so much!!!! but it ended up being the best decision ever.