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Our eldest turns 5 a week or so before kindergarten starts. We knew that we weren't going to red shirt him. There's going to be a bit of a social learning curve with getting ready for school, etc. After that, we're expecting him to do well there. He's registered for the school year.

Our LOs are June babies, so they will be 5, but I have a late August birthday and started at 4. I was always the youngest and generally consider it a good thing.

Eta: We have 4k, so we'll start with that (3 hours a day) at age 4 and go from there. It will be at her kindergarten school so it is a good trial run.

@Mrs. Sketchbook: LO turns 5 two days before the cutoff and we are sending her! I put thought into it a few months back and then made the decision. I think she will do great.

We didn't have much of a choice with our son. He turns 5 at the end of September, and the cutoff is September 1. So he will be waiting another year to go to kindergarten. I personally think it will be a good thing for him. He struggles socially, and I think giving him another year to mature will help him in that regard. Technically we're not redshirting since he's past the cutoff, but I do think this is a very personal decision for each parent and child, and I respect that every parent is making that decision with their child's best interest at heart.

My LO has an August birthday and we're planning to send her on time. Someone always has to be the youngest. If everyone with summer birthdays red-shirts then May birthdays will be youngest. She's currently the youngest in her PK-3 class (they do it by school year so it's nice that I've been able to get a glimpse into what it will be like for her) and she's held her own just fine.

I think you have to look at the individual situations that are going on in order to make an educated decision. Even then, it is absolutely possible that you'll make the wrong choice. I think that's the biggest thing for me, if I do/did make the wrong choice, what's the path to correct it and how does it impact the child?

Now, please understand that my view is that we should have a national cut off. The fact is that while I redshirted my son in the state we currently live in, if we relocate, it's highly possible that he'd be considered going on time.

@looch: This played into our decision as well. We have the option of PT or FT Kindergarten but no option to give it a try and then have him repeat K unless there was a huge issue discovered. I was worried about how he might be impacted later on if he ends up being held in 1st/2nd, and so on. As of now, I've told him that some kids go to K when they are 5 and some go when they are 6 and he will go when he's 6. Most of his friends are going to be waiting a year as well, so I think that makes it easier as well.

For us, we had to look at what everyone else was doing as well. DS is mid-September and our cutoff is October 1. Unfortunately, it's somehow become the norm here to hold back anyone with a summer birthday (basically July 1 and on, but even some May/June). So much so that the principal told me she can't recall the last time they had a boy with a September birthday go to K "on time." That pretty much made the decision for us. Academically, he would be fully ready to go to K this year at almost 5, but I just can't in good conscience send him, knowing he would be the youngest by months and in many cases, over a year. It just seems unfair to him to start with that disadvantage socially. We have agonized over this for the last year - I wish redshirting wasn't a thing!

@bushelandapeck: My son doesn't even notice right now that he is among the oldest.

@Mrs. Sketchbook: I think there is also another factor at play, and that is socioeconomic background. You mentioned it above, you have resources available to you that a disadvantaged population doesn't. I can tell you from observing my son's class that there are for sure kids that would have benefitted from being held back, but were not because of cost, possibly, and even not being from households where English is the first language. I think your son, as mine, would have ultimately succeeded regardless of where we put them because we have the ability to intervene and help where needed. Not all parents do.

We waited to try for #3 until he would have a September due date to avoid making the decision. In general I don't like how there is just a one day cut off and no kids younger than that can attend but parents can hold back for no reason. I wish there was like a 30-60 day window where parents can decide and then outside the window they have to go to school in the correct year unless some reason like a doctor or whatever says they cannot. Redshirting is getting so ridiculous in our town that my son born in May will be one of the youngest. I shouldn't even have to consider redshirting him but it's not unheard of here!

We are a little ways off from having to make this decision, but its something we've been really talking about and working on since DS1 started preschool.

My son was born September 6th so its really tough. The local private school has a December 1 cut off, but the public schools have a traditional late summer cut off with a year of transitional kinder for kids born in the fall like my son.

My son was about 6 months speech delayed due to repeat ear infections and hearing loss and all that jazz. He's gained a lot of ground since tubes and starting preschool and working at home with us, but I'd say he's still a few months behind his peers. That said, I know MENTALLY he's just fine, and he's at or surpasses all the metrics and milestones for his age at the moment.

My husband is a January birthday and his biggest complaint about school growing up was just how bored and unchallenged he felt until high school. And he attended the best schools in his area. I think a lot of it was because he is very bright (he was reading at 3) and was nearly 6 when he started school. He was just frustrated with the pace of learning.

I am an April birthday and I feel like I was academically and socially right on track for my age and started kinder on time. BUT I was always tall for my age and even hit a massive growth spurt at age 9 (literally grew to 5'8" overnight), so people expected me to act and perform like a much older child. I was also bullied a lot because I was so tall. It did a number on my self-esteem.

DH and I were both considered "gifted" in school.

Based on these factors, we struggle a lot with this decision. On the one hand, DH thinks our son will be frustrated and bored in kindergarten if he attends TK and then essentially repeats kinder the next year. He also thinks it will set him up to be bored and frustrated at school as the years go by. DS1 is a lot like DH was as a kid in that if he's bored or frustrated, he gets into mischief and trouble and his attitude sucks. (Apparently DH was a nightmare as a kid). DS1 also has my impatience and temper (eek), so I can imagine his frustration would be pretty bad if he was bored and unchallenged. I don't want him to feel that way, especially if it turns out he's gifted later on.

But, DS1 is also, like his parents, a very tall child. People mistake him for a much older child already. People thought he was 3 when he was barely 1 year old, so obviously that affects how adults treat him. I don't want him to constantly be seen as the problem child with maturity issues just because he's tall when developmentally, he's perfectly normal for his age. So in that regard, redshirting him and starting him in school at 6 would help a little more because he would be a bit more mature. And he'd get another year to "play."

But then again, would he misbehave even more when he starts school at 6 just because he's bored and not challenged enough?

Then there's our second child, DS2, who is a May birthday. Our boys are 20 months apart, but if we hold back DS1, they will only be apart in school 1 year. I really respect birth order and I want DS1 to be able to feel like the older brother that he is by almost 2 years, instead of just the 1 school grade. Some moms have actually suggested then redshirting BOTH our boys to preserve the 2 year gap, but while DS2 is only 10 months old, he's already showing signs of being much more developmentally advanced than DS1 ever was, so I feel like that would be a disaster for him.

Sooooo, while we still have some time to decide, right now, we're leaning towards sending our son to the private school for kinder with the December 1 cut off and start him right before he turns 5. He believes DS1 will catch up in speech by the time kinder rolls around and that the private school will do a better job catering to him if he ends up being slightly behind his peers in some way. The school is known in the area for its zero tolerance policy for bullying, so DH also feels DS1 will be better protected from any teasing about his height. We know some folks who have both a very delayed child and a very gifted child at the same school and they seem to be very happy with how the teachers cater to both children's individual needs.

We're already in touch with the principal of the private school and we're working closely with our teachers at DS1's preschool to assess his readiness. So hopefully we will get some good guidance on what the right move will be.

Sigh. School is hard.

As someone who was the youngest in my class, I wouldn't really prefer that for my kids, but it surely wasn't the worse thing ever. It was never a problem academically. I graduated hs toward the top of my class and earned a BA in less than 4 years. But I think emotionally and socially it wouldn't have hurt to be "redshirted." Our kids' birthdays fall right after the cutoff so we don't even have a decision to make, thankfully.

It's so hard to make these decisions! It sounds like you have put a lot of thought and care into what's best for your son and I'm sure that he will thrive

Kindergarten isn't mandatory in our state and so I think we are pretty much decided that unless something significant changes we will "homeschool" for that year and have her start first grade when she is 6 1/2. Academically I have no concerns but I do think it would be challenging for her socially and emotionally, and I'd rather just give her the extra time at home. She tends toward introvertedness and some mild anxiety and I think giving her a little extra time will be beneficial. She is in part time preschool and although she enjoys it it is clearly pretty exhausting and challenging for her. a friend who made the same choice for her son said it felt like the difference between him being "almost ready" and having a challenging transition, or being totally ready and thriving.
My son is an early august bday- we will make the decision for him based on his personality.

@gingerbebe: I'm a lot like your DH. I was completely bored in school when I first started and it had lifelong effects on my learning and ability to be a good student. I dread that for DS. He has a November birthday so he misses the cutoff in our district. But it's kind of crazy to me because the state I grew up in cuts off at the end of December.

@Mrs. Sketchbook: That's interesting, can you share some of your sources about the effects that show up in puberty and how redshirted/held back doesn't matter? I'd like to be able to give my son some tools to be able to deal with it.

I've already made my decision and my son will have to live with it, but I know that it was the right choice at the time.

My DD turns 5 August 1 and the cutoff is August 15, and she will be starting kindergarten this year. She's the youngest in her pre-k class and there is no difference between her and her peers. I think delaying her start date would be detrimental to her, she's very intelligent and ready.