And it's really frustrating me!
He's annoyed by how expensive it is (approx $150/week in our area). There's not any other option (we don't have family in this area and he doesn't think we could swing me staying home financially).
Just venting.
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He's going to have to talk about it at some point!
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Oh wow. I don't know where you live but that's so cheap compared to where we are! Maybe you can visit some day cares and then bring paperwork home to him to review. That way it takes some pressure off him? That's what I did and it worked out well. He went with me to the daycares I wanted him to see and helped me make the final decision.
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My DH wouldn't look either till the last minute. Our daycare will be $155/week for 3 full days a week!
ETA: my BFF suggested looking at super high end day cares (even if you have no intention of enrolling your kid) so your DH sees what your money buys.
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The first one I called was $250/week! I shared that with him lol, he nearly had heart failure.
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Haha, I'd kill for $150/week for infant daycare.
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150 a week!! I wish!!
Show him this thread!
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Lol we live in the Midwest and its pretty low cost of living.
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It's $250 a week here...That's actually why we're doing a nanny...It won't be THAT much more if we get someone to work 4 dats a week and I work from home 1x a week.
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Try $1500-1800 a month for full time here
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We are paying $245 a week. And part of why we chose to have children here in TN rather than going back home to MA is because child care is so much CHEAPER here!!!
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I would kill for $150 a week. I am looking at a minimum for $1000-$1100 a month. Our first choice for the school and close to home is $1600! Which is crazy, so looks like baby girl is commuting to the burbs with me every day.
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We pay $205/wk here. He needs to talk about it because most daycares have a 6 month wait list so it could make it difficult to get a spot if you wait too long.
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At the end of the day you are going to have to make $150 work, so brainstorm where you can save. If you can cut back somewhere, sacrifice a little you might be able to cut your total outgoing expenses.
Have cable? Is it necessary?
Get your hair done frequently or dyed professionally? Is it necessary?
Can you brown bag lunch? -
I kept asking my sil what they were going to do for daycare and she wouldn't talk about it either. I think her reason was because her pregnancy was very high risk (she was pregnant with triplets and already lost two of them) so it was scary for her to plan.
Luckily for her though my mom lives in town and she offered to watch the baby at the very last minute, so it paid to wait. Hopefully you'll be able to figure something out too!
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I live in the midwest, too, and $150-$200 is average here.
DH thought $212/week was a lot of money...probably because the very first place was in home for $140/week. And then I priced out some more places and they were mostly in the $250+ range. Hell, Kindercare was $300/week. After that, he wasn't so shocked by it all. He just needs a little perspective, methinks. Now we both realize that $212 is a steal.
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If it makes you feel better daycares here cost $400 - $600 per week.
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$150 / week is a little bit more than we spend here, but we live in one of the cheapest parts of the country. Tell him that it would cost double that in many other places, and he needs to suck it up and figure out who is going to care for your baby, unless he wants to quit his job and be a stay at home dad.
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Our daycare cost is not astronomical...until you multiply it by two infants.
We will be paying a bit more per child than you are, but I just told DH from the beginning that great daycare was non-negotiable. I bet he'll come around soon, but I second that he needs to fairly quickly because the wait lists can be really long.
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It's around 1600 for us here. But it does get cheaper as they get older. Infant classes are always more.
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Bright Horizon here in Boston is $2800 a month but that is the extreme high. $1800 for an average daycare in the city by my workplace. My DH and I tend to have to work a little later so having our LO close to work is necessary just to squeeze in more work later.
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I was the same as your husband. The idea of daycare, thr cost, and all the germs make me want to scream! We compromised and found one of our friends that does in home and giving us a fantastic deal.
Don't get mad at him, just carefully bring up different options every once in a while. -
I know it's frustrating to talk about costs with your DH, but it sounds like he just doesn't want to deal with or face the reality. I know it's nice of us all to say, "omg! that's so cheap!" but your DH just saying "it's too expensive" is not a solution. When my DH is like that, I try to make him go with me or see something in person for and see/hear the reality of prices from different 3rd-party people. THEN, after all my research and price comparisons and bargain-hunting, he will come around to realize what an a) good deal/value I found, and b) appreciate it.
I can't relate yet on Daycare, but I think from what most moms tell me, $500-600/week is pretty low/standard in my area for pre-school. I can't even imagine how much more it is if you have to factor in feeding and diaper changes!
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@Mrs. Blue: would it be cheaper for you to have a nanny since you'll be sending two kids to daycare?
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$150 a week isn't bad...that's probably average here too but we also have lower cost of living.
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@septemberlove: tell your DH that we pay $450 a week, for 2 kids each! And if there are no other options, I am not sure what he wishes to do about childcare?
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He just doesn't want to talk about it. He knows it's the only option, he knew before we TTC that it'd be around $150/week and it's been built into our baby plans from the beginning. I think he just hates the idea of spending that much money on childcare.
I broke it down as a percentage of my income, a per day rate, and a per hour rate. Once he heard it in those terms, he felt a little better but he still says that's a lot of money.
In his ideal fantasy world, his mom would come raise our child. He brought it up in pre-marital preparations and I told him that that would be a deal breaker for me. It would basically entail he moving from across the country into our house. I doubt she'd do it even if asked, but he knew before we even planned our wedding that'd never happen. So I kinda get the feeling in his mind he's thinking it'd be so much better if his mom came to raise our child.
None of the centers I spoke to had a waiting list and they all said to come in around April (baby's due in May and would start in July or August) and get the paperwork done. So him putting off discussing it isn't a huge issue, it's just annoying.
Ultimately itll be my decision on where baby goes and it'll be my responsibility to pay the bill but DH's attitude was just frustrating.
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Eep! I just checked and full time daycare local to us here in the UK is over £200 a week, that's about $330!
better get my piggy bank started...
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He sounds bitter that his mom isn't going to watch your kid during the day. But, such is life. Asking someone to drop their current life and move across the country is incredibly selfish and would be a huge imposition. Dealbreaker for me, too
Make some appointments and go visit some facilities. I know both of us felt a lot less apprehensive about it all once we got a feel for the types of places that are out there and what they charge. Then when April rolls around, you'll at least know which places you like. If you find a place you like, you can put your deposit down asap and be done with it (it's $50 to enroll here). I think you can set most daycare places up on autopay, by the way, so you won't have to feel like you're burdened with the responsibility of paying for it.
Honestly, he does not have a choice in this matter. He doesn't get to sit out while you handle this. Drag him along to stuff. It's his child, too, in case he forgets
Just because we don't get our way (or what we perceive as the 'most ideal' option) doesn't mean we get to sit on the sideline and check out.
We will be paying a bit more per child than you are, but I just told DH from the beginning that great daycare was non-negotiable. I bet he'll come around soon, but I second that he needs to fairly quickly because the wait lists can be really long.
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