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@Snowdrop: I completely agree. While male and female circumcision are very different, the reaction is cultural. I've met many people who truly believe that female circumcision is necessary, cleaner, and leaving a girl uncircumcised will keep her from finding a husband.
I also know people who find male circumcision heinous torture and point to it's popularity in America being born out if an idea that it would stop boys from masturbating.Both are cultural issues that people feel strongly about, and both are done for a huge variety of reasons. They are not at all the same, but the perceptions are the same for many people.
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@Snowdrop: No, I understand it is cultural, and I would never judge whether or not someone chose to circumcise their son.
I have a personal problem with people equating female circumcision with being purely cosmetic I guess. It seems to be glossing over what is a real medical problem (physical and emotional).
I agree @Arden: that in some cultures female circumcision is believed to be more hygienic and there's the fear that an uncircumcised woman won't find a husband, but in those cases, I'd argue for more education for women and men.
And everyone should educate themselves on male circumcision, too! Which, if this thread is any evidence, most people here are!
I'm sorry, but I'll just never be able to directly compare a sterile medical procedure performed by a trained professional at birth (before long-term memory is established) to an unsterile procedure performed on a pre-pubescent girl.
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@marionberry: just curious, do little boys really examine their fathers penis's that much? This is a common reason to circumcise and I have always found it a bit odd.
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I have a girl, so this hasn't come up yet. When we briefly discussed before finding we were having a girl, we defiantly will circ. we have one friend that did not and now her son has multiple urinary issues. I know that's rare, but it had caused a lot of issues with potty training and discomfort for him.
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I wanted to chime in here... when we had our son circumcised, we were chatting up the doctor that was doing it. It was a very quick procedure. One thing she said that really stuck with me... is that to make sure we don't change our minds about future boys we are having. We told her oh we were doing it to be like dad. She said oh good.
She then gave us a story the reason she brought that up is that she was the pediatrician to a couple that had 2 boys... and they they willy nilly circumcised one boy and didn't do for the next boy. They had no reasoning, that's just what they felt. The second boy was actually pretty upset about it because the father was circumcised and for some reason got in his head his parents didn't love him as much and that he wasn't part of the family. He ended up having elective circumcision done to himself as a late teen ... I forget I believe she said 16 or 17 years old. The doctor told us that adult male circumcision is way more painful and takes longer to heal than baby circumcision and more dangerous because or possible complications.
Anyways just thought I would put this out there.
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@Raindrop: I'm sorry, but that is a little crazy. I mean, not feeling like part of the family because your penises aren't the same?
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@Purpledaisy: I honesty have no idea how much men see of each others private parts.
But this was from a female doctor that warned us. For some reason this story has stuck with me for almost 3 years when we had LO circumcised.I get the feeling she didn't want another boy to go through what her patient went through growing up un-circumcised when the rest of his family was.
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We did and will again if we have another boy
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We did, and i had no idea not doing it was more common! I think most people around do decide to circumcise (I'm in NJ, I work in NYC) - I honestly thought that was the norm!
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@Raindrop: @Purpledaisy: I also think times have changed a lot. 20 years ago almost everyone circumcised, so I understand how a teenager could feel like he was the odd one out. I think it's much different now - kids will be used to seeing both circumcised and uncircumcised penises and it won't be uncommon or weird to be one way or the other. Times are changing! Just based on this poll, 1 out of ever 3 kids will be uncircumcised, and the national average is around 50%.
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@IRunForFun: just to emphasis that i don't in anyway think that female circumcision or more accurately FGM is acceptable culture or no culture
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I left it up to DH because I didn't feel strongly either way. He decided (after some researching and soul searching) that he wanted our boys circumcised.
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We were on the fence and discussing it, and then my cousin's 12 year old son was forced to have a circumcision when I was about 10 months pregnant. His foreskin never pulled back and got stuck, so the circumcision was necessary. My husband was pretty insistent we get our son circumcised after that.
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@Snowdrop: Oh don't worry, I didn't think you were implying that at all! I understand your perspective.
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We didn't. It was never a debate. I don't think it's very common here since it is considered not medically necessary and you must pay for it out of pocket. Honestly, if you're on the fence about it, I wouldn't do it. **in my opinion** altering someone's body should be left to the decision of that individual.
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@runnerd - i'm in the south and didn't either.
same thing at our ped office they kept asking "so when would you like to schedule?" funny though our pediatrician is Indian and was 100% on board with us not doing it, it was the very southern front staff that kept pushing it on us.
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For what it is worth male circumcision in a sterile medical environment does have some medical benefits. They are not overwhelming and weren't significant in my decision but they do exist. It drastically decreases the risk of penile cancer (which isn't a very common cancer, but still sucks if you get it) and there is evidence that suggests it will decrease transmission of STDs. I would like to think my son is at low risk for that type of stuff but you ultimately never know.
I think comparing it is female circumcision really detracts from whatever argument you're trying to make. It is simply not the same.
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@SerenaSF: Hm.. you make a good point!
I guess I just really took to heart what she told us. We were always going to have all our boys circumcised but that story really stuck with me anyways.Oh another funny story about when our LO got circumcised. The doctor needed one of us to hold LO down. The small operating table was stand up only. Since I just gave birth, I choose to be the one who sat. I wasn't even paying attention but the doctor asked my husband if he was okay in the middle of it and my husband said not really. The doctor asked if I could stand in for the rest of it and it wouldn't be that long. I said sure! It was only a couple of minutes more. Then we were able to hold LO again.
I talked to DH afterwards and he was just so shocked how light headed he was... he was seriously going to faint from seeing all the blood (there wasn't very much) and watching it.
I was kind of shocked ... I thought this meant he regretted having it done to our son but he said no that was not the case he was just shocked how he felt about it. This maybe why the doctor talked to us about future sons. Haha.
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@beesknees: yea they act like it isn't even a choice to be made, just a given! Guess it's just that uncommon around here
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We had our son circumcised. We live in the south. I asked multiple nurses in the NICU if more people circumcised or not and they all said that basically everyone circumcised. It was extremely rare to not do it. DH is circumcised and also felt very strongly about getting it done. I'm an RN. I have seen many many elderly men who live in nursing homes. Many are no longer able to care properly for it, and many would show up to the hospital looking like the staff at the nursing homes hadn't kept it washed properly.
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We did not. We did not even think to discuss it until it was brought up in our birthing class and our discussion took all of three seconds to confirm that we were on the same page.
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We did not and we would not if we have future sons. My husband is and wanted our son to be. I asked him to do research and discuss it with me and he changed his mind quite quickly. We've had no issues with it.
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Yep. No issues, no regrets and Dh was pretty passionate about the decision while I was not.
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We discussed this before we knew we were having a girl and I'm glad we got to put off the decision for now because he wants to and I don't. He used the reason that our son should match him but I just don't get that. How often do a father and son really stand there and compare penises? He agreed that he never did with his dad. And really...a little boy and a grown man are not going to look the same even if they are both circ'd or both not.
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Yes, both sons are. No regrets, I watched it being done, it really wasn't a big deal and the after care was easy.
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Yes, no regrets. Would 100% do it if we have another boy someday. My husband watched the procedure being done and he said our baby wasn't bothered at all. He also never seemed to have any discomfort during the healing process.
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I am in the UK and at no point during my prenatal care or delivery and hospital stay was it even mentioned. I wouldn't have gone for it anyway, but I think people here have to make their own arrangements if they want to.
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@Little Misters Mom: that's a good response to other's questioning! Yes, I laughed when reading the OP's "I don't want to start a debate" and request that only people who have actually made this decision respond b/c these threads always go in the debate direction.
Since people seem interested in geography and trends, I live in a liberal pocket of Virginia and would say that my friends seem kind of split on the circumcision topic.
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We did, and it was briefly a debate before DS was born. However, DS was born with a "torsion" (rotation) that a circumcision would fix, so we ended up doing it. That being said, we had to wait until he was 6 months old to do it. It was sad
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We did and will for any future sons. No regrets.
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We did as it was important to DH. Left just to me, I would not have done it but I don't regret it either.
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We did but we went back and forth until the day after he was born. DH is circ'd but didn't feel strongly about it - he doesn't feel "defined" by it (whatever that means). A friend did not circumcise their son who is now a toddler and he keeps messing with it and he's had some infections so that aided in our decision to do so. The procedure wasn't bad - they used a local anesthetic and gave DS a paci with a little bit of sugar water that calmed him - he slept right through it. Maintenance wasn't that bad - vaseline for about a week and it was fine. He wasn't bothered by it at all.
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We didn't and are happy with our decision. I was sort of ambivalent but DH felt strongly about it so I left it up to him. We live in NY and I think we're in the minority here.
Funny story: my super awkward Step-FIL was sitting with our families in the L&D waiting room (along with many other families) while I was delivering. My husband and our doctor went out to announce LO had arrived.. family cheers, cries, etc. Then SFIL turns to my doctor (who is actually a close friend) and, no joke, the first words out of his mouth were "WHEN IS THE CIRCUMCISION"?? I don't even think it was that important to him, he was just so overwhelmed with emotion and so totally awkward that that was the first thing that came to his mind. So our OB had to announce in front of everyone else in the waiting room that "well, they've decided not to circumcise him..." It was just such an odd conversation to be having right at that moment. I laughed pretty hard when DH told me.
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We did and both have mixed emotions about it. I wouldn't say we regret it, but we would reconsider if we ever had another boy. The procedure itself was really traumatizing for me (although LO handled it remarkably well). We felt pressured by both sides of our family (lots of nurses and EMTs) who have all seen infections in uncircumcised penises first hand, particularly in elderly patients. That being said, I think their experiences are the exceptions and not the rule.
But this was from a female doctor that warned us. For some reason this story has stuck with me for almost 3 years when we had LO circumcised.
same thing at our ped office they kept asking "so when would you like to schedule?" funny though our pediatrician is Indian and was 100% on board with us not doing it, it was the very southern front staff that kept pushing it on us.
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