Just curious - were most people happy and excited for you? Did anyone react negatively? Or have a different reaction than you expected?
Just curious - were most people happy and excited for you? Did anyone react negatively? Or have a different reaction than you expected?
pineapple / 12802 posts
My boss said "well, as long as you're happy I guess".
LOL. whatever that's supposed to mean.
honeydew / 7295 posts
@.twist.: oh man! Bosses!
I got positive feedback mainly but my grandma was very sad because we had just told her we were moving across the county so her reaction was bittersweet understandably.
papaya / 10473 posts
My former boss told me I was too smart to get pregnant and that I had "closed so many doors" in my career. She was notorious for being awful to pregnant employees and new moms.
Annnnd she got fired
pomegranate / 3577 posts
@Boheme: What a shrew!
The thing that annoyed me most was a couple people "betting" that I would "get pregnant/roll eyes". Uh, sorry if I proceed with MY life.
pomegranate / 3314 posts
Not negative, but I have had some very meh reactions from family. Not really sure what that's about, but I got over it quickly. We had enough excited reactions that it mattered less as time went on.
pomegranate / 3577 posts
@meredithNYC: You made me remember that my SIL said "Oh". Negative reactions from family are the worst.
cantaloupe / 6059 posts
Not with #1, but certainly with #2. I got reactions like "wow. Really?!" and "I hope you'll wait longer if you have a third." and also "are you trying to beat the Duggars?! Sheesh."
cantaloupe / 6059 posts
@Boheme: I had a female college professor who called me in to her office to tell me that I was ruining my career by getting married instead of going to grad school immediately after college. (I didn't have the finances for both.) I hate that we live in a world where having a family is considered a liability to your career.
eggplant / 11287 posts
My MIL was not even remotely thrilled when we told her either time. She actually cried tears of sadness/"stress" when we told her about #1.
watermelon / 14467 posts
Not really. My mom said that she thought we were never having kids (okay...), but most of the negative reactions were toward our name choice for a girl, my size, and my plans to continue working.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
My parents were happy but then I got a lot of "don't do XyZ this time". You know, because that impacts whether or not you miscarry
pomelo / 5469 posts
I got someone say "oh, okay.." which wasn't negative, but still a little odd!
pomegranate / 3791 posts
My boss asked, "Should I say congratulations? Are we happy?" LOL, but I don't hold it against him because a bunch of us were friends and joked around a lot, and during previous conversations I'd said I was sooo not ready for kids, and it's not like I had announced it once I did feel ready and we started TTC.
The second time around my MIL said, "Oh, I was hoping it wouldn't happen for you guys so fast (this was on cycle 5), there's a lot of October birthday's, and November would have been nice - you could have had the baby on what would've been DH's grandpa's 100th birthday!" Uhhh wow, thanks for wishing another month of TTC frustrations on us!
pineapple / 12793 posts
My MIL didn't acknowledge DD1 was on the way until well into my 3rd trimester, despite staying in our house at least half a dozen times while I was pregnant.
Didn't get a congratulations on #2 from her either.
nectarine / 2358 posts
Nothing really negative, no, but I am often told I'm crazy because I work full time, am in an intense grad school program and don't really have family that lives close by. Wish they'd choose a better word because I feel crazy enough as it is.
grapefruit / 4441 posts
We haven't told many people about this pregnancy yet, but we're not expecting very positive reactions. My MIL once told me that we shouldn't EVER consider having more children (due to my husband's health issues/depression). I am dreading telling them; we're going to wait as long as we can. My mom had a mixed reaction when I told her. Bums me out, but it is what it is. I understand their concerns.
pomelo / 5621 posts
My supervisor asked me if this was a good thing when I told her.
I didn't even know what to say besides yes.
apricot / 263 posts
Wow, what responses! I'm surprised by some of them! I always used to assume that announcing was fun and exciting all around, but I've realized some people might not share those feelings. I know my in-laws will be excited - they've been bugging us for grandchildren for years! But I'm not so sure what to expect from my parents.
apricot / 263 posts
@Boheme: That's terrible - I'm glad she got fired!
@Espion: When I was younger, my friends told me they were betting I'd have the first baby in our group of friends, which I found offensive. I didn't "get around", and have only ever had 2 serious relationships, one of those being DH. Ironically, I AM the first pregnant one out of the group, lol Oh well
Sounds like some bosses didn't know what to say. Maybe they're not sure if you're excited about it? I work with all women, so I am hoping it will go smoothly, although I know my boss isn't overly thrilled that a bunch of us got married within about a year and half of each other and is afraid we're all going out on maternity leave at the same time!
@coopsmama @oliviaoblivia - that's terrible!
kiwi / 567 posts
When I told my dad I was pregnant he said "oh, is that so?" Not in a mean way, but as if we'd just told him we bought a new vacuum cleaner. But he's super reserved, so I tried not to take it personally.
apricot / 274 posts
When I told my mom, she didn't say say congratulations, she said, "I'm going to be a grandmother? I'm not sure if I'm ready for that." Thanks for making it about you, mom. . .
pomegranate / 3127 posts
My mom was less than thrilled. The first thing she said was "how did that happen?!" We weren't married yet, but we already thought of ourselves as an old married couple so I was shocked that she was upset instead of happy... In hindsight, I guess that was silly of me. I'm a little nervous that if we're blessed with more kids we'll get the same reaction, this time because she'll be worrying that we need to move out of our small apartment and that no one in the family can help us with child care again.
persimmon / 1481 posts
My mom told me that when she found out she was pregnant with my brother, her sister said "You know abortion is always an option." Even though my mom was happily married.
olive / 50 posts
@Applesandbananas: I got SOOOOO many "was it planned?" comments! My supervisor was probably the third person I told and her reaction was "Congratulations? It is congratulations isn't it?"
pomegranate / 3845 posts
@MummaColston: it was so weird! We'd been married for awhile, older, established in our careers, it was perfect timing!
pear / 1697 posts
I've been really afraid of negative reactions, but I haven't actually gotten any. I guess the high school message my father reiterated every time I left the house ("Come home before it gets light out; don't get knocked up!") really sunk in a little too far and I now have a certain amount of shame and anxiety associated with being pregnant.
I keep telling myself that I am in my mid-30s and that this is a planned for, wanted pregnancy...but I'm also waiting for someone to tell me how badly I've screwed up.
I did get one weird response. My ex-wife said, "Can I see?" before anything else. I don't even know what that means!
pomegranate / 3053 posts
Wow, surprised at how many negative comments there were for a lot of you. @Boheme: Glad she got fired. Soooo inappropriate to say to anyone, really.
persimmon / 1363 posts
I got lots of negative comments with both from my work, because they haaaaaaate it when people get pregnant, and they have a huge group of married, child-bearing aged women so there are always a couple of people pregnant and a couple on mat leave even though it's a small office.
cherry / 141 posts
@MrsKMM: Were they betting in a mean way, though? Maybe it was because you had the stable relationships, you's be in the better position to choose children sooner than others who weren't as responsible?
I know that's probably what every thought about me- I met Mr. Frog at 17 and we didn't get married until I was...23? He wasn't old enough to drink at our wedding
We were expected to have the first grandchildren among my sisters and I... until both my sisters met men and married them in the 12 months it took for us to announce our engagement and actually get married. It was kind of weird, I thought, like they were subconsciously racing me. Both of them are now divorced, but my little sister has 2 kids.
I'm pretty certain if it ever happens for us, there will be nothing but happy reactions all around, mixed in with "It's about time!"s.
apricot / 263 posts
@redeyedtreefrog, Possibly! The few relationships I had were stable ones, so that's what I'm hoping was implied!
Our ILs expect us to give the first grandchild - we are the only couple, of the numerous cousins, who are married and settled (not to imply you have to be married to have children!), so the pressure's on! And on my side, my cousins and brother are young teens, so again, it's all me!
I am thinking I'm going to have to tell work soon. I work long hours and am in and out of the office constantly, and I have felt horrible lately. It's getting to the point where everyone's asking when I am getting to a doctor because I shouldn't feel sick all the time. I just hit 6w today, so my appt isn't for another 2 weeks. I haven't told anyone else yet, and DH doesn't want my work to be the first to know! It's so hard to hide it though!
Sorry so many of you got negative reactions! Glad we can all be here for each other on HB though
clementine / 912 posts
@Applesandbananas: I got so many "Did you plan this?" comments. A friend suggested I just responded that DH and I are just really into sex.
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