We're expecting baby boy at the end of August, and don't plan to circumsize. Wondering how much detail we need to go into with our moms and eventually daycare or nanny on cleaning and diaper changes? Most of what I've read has said essentially "leave it alone," no need for any extra cleaning versus a girl or circumsized boy. So maybe that's sufficient? Reading about forced retraction has me 
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I've said nothing to daycare, it is pretty common. I did tell my mom to leave it alone. I treated it as no big deal and so far there have been no issues
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Disclaimer: I'm a nurse so I am generally pretty comfortable and frank about discussing body care etc! I did make sure anyone doing diaper changes knew not to retract the foreskin andvto just "wipe it like you would a finger". Retraction was taught to people decades ago and is the reason so many boys "needed circumcision" as children/young adults, because they ended up with scar tissue. I think it's generally a very good idea to make sure it is communicated!
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I've said nothing to daycare or my parents and have never really had questions.
I know my MIL had mentioned something once about she was told to do the retraction technique decades ago and she called it "penis torture." Lol. I just told her there's nothing we're supposed to do.
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We addressed questions as needed and asked caregivers if they were familiar with it before leaving him in their care. My MIL also mentioned that she was told to retract for her eldest which she also described as torture. I had to ask the pediatrician how to care for it as well, and was surprised to learn it may not retract on its own till puberty! I'm still puzzling over how to teach him a change in self care at that point....
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I would definitely suggest mentioning it, as I am a nurse at a children's hospital and many of my coworkers don't know you aren't supposed to retract!
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I have said nothing to nobody (ugh, the grammar!) and have never been asked any questions about either of my uncircumcised boys.
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I haven't said anything about my 3 week old. His penis is so tiny and there's not anything obvious to retract, so I'm not sure what would possess a person to try it.
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I think a quick note about not retracting it would be totally appropriate ... We have a girl, but there have been times where I've had to just mention diaper care (like if she has diaper rash, or when I kept finding poop in her butt - they weren't being thorough enough when wiping).
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I have girls, but if we ever have a boy we likely will not Circ. I def plan on making sure anyone and everyone knows not to retract it!
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@MsMini: We recently thought one of our LOs had a uti and my mil (also a nurse) suggested gently retracting in the tub to make sure it wasn't just dirty. I was all
. DH must have learned this from her and we've had many discussions about this, he thinks it's okay to do and I don't. Do you happen to have any literature I can share? And do you know when it does become acceptable to retract?
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Thanks everyone! I think I'll maybe generically mention it to our moms and caregivers - I don't think anyone will be inclined to get too aggressive but I'd hate to not say anything and have someone hurt him inadvertently.
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@Boogs: ah! Unfortunately I have even heard Pediatricians even counsel people to retract the foreskin! It's just one of those things that was very poorly educated about in prior generations! I can look around for some good literature but basically no one should ever retract the child's foreskin for them. When it is ready to be retracted the child/teen will do it in their own (My DS randomly showed me one day that he could "unwrap" his - he was 4 at the time) now I just ask him to "unwrap and wash it" for himself at bath time. If you leave it to them they won't inadvertently hurt themselves doing it.
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@MsMini: Thanks! Yeah that's what my oldest has done, and glad to know he's not hurting himself.
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You know, I have three boys who are not circumcised and never thought to tell anyone anything with respect to diaper changes!
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@MsMini: Thanks for saying this! We're team green but if it's a boy we don't plan on doing a circ. I always thought people decided to circ because it was easier to clean since you don't have to retract, but if you're not supposed to retract then hmm. Waiting until they're ready so you know you can't hurt them makes so much sense!
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