I've seen a couple of other similar posts garner really helpful advice, so I'm hoping you lovely mamas can help me out. Apologies in advance for how long this is:
A bit of background-- my mom and I have a difficult relationship. I'm not sure if I could call her a narcissist, but she's been emotionally manipulative my whole life (queen of guilt trips, passive aggressive, emotionally distant, etc.). She has always been more concerned about catering to her mom/siblings/self needs than those of her spouse/children.
I'm currently 24 weeks with our second child. A friend of mine is throwing me a shower at the end of September. My mom has asked several times where the shower will be (I live about an hour away from my mom/extended family, and friend who is hosting lives near me) and I've told her it will likely be near where I live. The first time we had this conversation mom got huffy and then said "well, I guess if people want to go they'll just have to figure out how to get there."
Last night she called and asked if we would be willing to move the shower location closer to her/extended family if she paid for part of it. She then continued on to say that "you know, since it's just as hard for people to come to you as it is for you to come to us."
Is it wrong that I'm upset? She had just come from my cousin's baby shower (which I didn't go to for multiple reasons but mainly because the location was a 90 minute drive each way) and I'm sure she heard comments from her mom (my grandmother) about my shower, where's it going to be, oh my gosh she's not really going to have it so far away is she?, etc. I feel like she's trying to bribe me with money to move the location (I also feel like it's super rude, since she's not the one hosting, to ask for a location change) and, when I hesitate, to guilt me into moving it by insinuating that no one will come if we don't move the location.
If we move the location it becomes a 25 minute drive for her/extended family and an hour long drive for me/friend who is hosting.
TL;DR My mom is hemming and hawing over my upcoming baby shower location and basically said "I'll give you an undefined amount of money that you didnt ask for but only if you change the location, and by the way if you don't change it you know no one will be able to come."