DH's kid sister turns 30 today. Our gift should have been in the mail days ago but we're behind as usual. We were going to send her money approximately equal to what it would be to fly out to see us. Not that she needs to spend it that way but figuring that would get her to any major city for a fun trip or for a fantastic night out. Treat herself however. She works hard as a special needs teacher and has a nanny side job to make ends meet.

Today she put up a FB birthday charity donation thing. Is it rude to ignore that and just give her money? (Ignoring that money itself might come across as rude. I'm not worried about that in this scenario). Do we need to chip in some to that donation fund? I can't see just giving the whole amount to her charity. She can do that if she wants but we want her to have some cushion to have fun.