I'm wanting to hear from those who have had another child after a 4+ year age gap. Was it hard to go back to the baby stage after being out of it for so long? Any advice you can give me?
DH says he would like a third, and it would be a minimum of a 4 year gap for us.
pomegranate / 3438 posts
My boys are 4 years 9 months apart. I love the age difference! The older one is more independent so it made getting back into the swing of things with a newborn slightly easier. The difficult part for me was just being older myself and having to get up so many times a night! DS1 was such a great helper when he was home, especially when I would get stuck on the couch cluster feeding.
pomegranate / 3759 posts
My girls are 6, 4.5 and 3 months. The age gap is awesome because my older two are almost completely independent. They can actually help by getting me stuff while I’m pinned down nursing baby. They are also fairly good at keeping her entertained if I want to have a quick shower. It is a bit terrifying starting that baby phase again but you roll into it pretty quick. And I must say I feel much more laid back than the other two.
grapefruit / 4554 posts
I’m currently pregnant with #3 now. When this baby is born my older two will be 7 & 5! I’ll tell you how it goes in 6 months 
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
My #1 is 6. She will be exactly 6.5 when this baby is born. I'm SO excited. She is so loving and so caring, She's going to be a great big sister.
kiwi / 745 posts
I'm 33 weeks with my second and my first will turn 4 within a month of this one arriving, probably. It's so nice having her be so independent and understanding! Especially because I have gestational diabetes and she'll say things like, "did you check your blood sugar?" or (so sweet), "did your doctor say you can have this?" while offering me a veggie straw. Tonight I went to leave to go to the gym and realized I left my water bottle on the couch and she came out on our balcony to say goodbye to me and I asked her to bring me my water bottle and she did! There are certain things I dread about going back to the baby stage, but also, I am looking forward to having a baby who stays where I leave them and doesn't argue over shoes and lets me dress them in whatever I want. (Whhhhy will you not wear the octopus dress I got?!?) I had some apprehension about such a big gap, but I think, especially for my particular kid, it will be much better than the 2 year gap I wanted initially.
pomegranate / 3231 posts
I have 1mo twins and a 4.5yo.
Adjusting to twins has been way easier for me than adjusting to being a first time mom.
My son is old enough to understand, to a certain degree, what is going on. We did a lot to facilitate his transition, and it seems to be working. He is incredibly sweet towards his baby sisters and seems to be very proud of them.
I suspect it will get harder for him once the babies start crawling and trying to chew on his toys.
I found being a FTM very overwhelming, so for me it is not so bad going back to diapers etc. I needed the long break to avoid feeling burned out.
I am an older mom, we had planned on two children and now have three, and the girls are rainbow babies. We had a high risk pregnancy and had a completely smooth L&D. I am so relieved and thrilled that everything worked out. This time around, I know the diaper and sleep deprivation stage is temporary. I also know it will be the last time I get to experience all these stages. So I don’t mind the inconvenience. I know it is worth it.
nectarine / 2047 posts
@ElbieKay: I’m interesred to hear what you did to help your older lo get ready to be a big brother!
We are planning a 4 year age gap, so I’m loving these responses!
cantaloupe / 6086 posts
So mine are a little closer (6.5 and 3.5 when #3 was born) but having a 6yo is especially awesome. They’re both pretty independent and helpful and that was awesome for pregnancy - I was sick a lot and worn out and I could trust them to watch tv if I needed a nap. Now that baby is here they are both so into her and very helpful! And the 3.5yo has more self control than a 2yo so I imagine 4 is even better. Also my 6yo is feeling very special because not many others her age have brand new siblings. I love that she’ll remember it too. So lots of good things with older siblings!
The baby stuff for me is easy this time. Like a pp said I know the hard stuff won’t last and I also know the tricks to get through it. The hard part is juggling the very different schedules and keeping up. But they’re all so cute together. 3.5yo told me today the baby is incredible 
pomelo / 5621 posts
DS is 5.5 next month and I'm due with DS2 next month. I'm following to see what everyone says.
So far it has been great. DS is pretty independent, so when I haven't been feeling great he can occupy himself.
squash / 13199 posts
@aprild: between our 1st and 2nd children is a 4.5 year gap. The benefits is that she first was fully potty trained and quite independent and could even help with little tasks. we are currently expecting our 3rd who will be 2 years yonder than our 2nd and I honestly found this pregnancy harder with a toddler because that s already a tricky stage. So I prefer the 4 year gap
pomegranate / 3231 posts
@peaches1038: Here are the main things we did:
1. We talked up the idea of being a big brother and having babies for several weeks before we told him the news. So he had already thought a the concept a few times and thought of babies as a good thing. We told him the news a few months before his fourth birthday.
2. We got a few books about being a big brother and gave them to him when we told him the news. My favorite was “Babies Don’t Eat Pizza” since it had a lot of information about pregnancy and babies.
3. He picked out baby sister gifts for his sisters and knew they were going to get him a big brother gift. He basically picked out his big brother gift himself and was super excited to get it. (My kid loves toys.)
4. I had been doing 100% of bedtime, and we were doing a lot of sleeping. We fully transitioned bedtime to his dad and sleeping to his bedroom several months before my due date. This way those changes were not “blamed” on the baby.
5. I was due in the middle of the summer. We signed him up for full day summer camp. He was out of the house from 7:30am til 5pm every day. He had four weeks to adjust to camp before I was induced, and then he continued at camp for four more weeks. He was only home and awake for a limited number of hours per day, and we were able to have at least one parent focus on him through most of those hours. So his routine wasn’t disrupted too much by their arrival.
6. My husband has eight weeks of paternity leave so there is more parenting time to go around!
grapefruit / 4455 posts
I don't have personal experience having done more than three years, but honestly I don't think four years will be that long.. especially with the perspective of having two other children and having done this before... you know how fast it goes, so it doesn't seem so huge to think about doing the baby thing for a couple more years.
papaya / 10560 posts
I have a 5 year old, 4 year old and 11 month old. I love the age gap. I kind of wasn't sure what to expect, but it has been just awesome. My oldest especially is SO good with the baby and the kids really adore the little one.
grapefruit / 4770 posts
I've enjoyed reading these posts. DD and DS will be 3yr9m apart, not by choice. Infertility and a miscarriage. So far, DD has been SO helpful with this pregnancy. I have severe hyperemesis and she has been such a big help. She' was here when the nurses came to get me set up with my pump and will remind me to "take your medicine mommy!" Which is really change my cartridges in my pump. She will tell me to get my rest, and understands when I need to go to the doctor. She understands there's a baby in my belly and I cannot carry her. She talks to her baby brother all the time and says she can't wait to help (at least for now 
)
Some things that are different are different are just the kids being at such different stages. But, my brother and I are 6 years apart and super close!
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
@dc yoga bee: That's interesting, my brother and I are also 6 years apart and not close. I think spacing has nothing to do with closeness.
In fact, when my brother was born, my parents said I didn't handle it well at all. I can understand why, I was the queen for 6 years and now, I had to deal with someone else being more needy. It was hard for my parents.
grapefruit / 4770 posts
@looch: Yep, I think it just depends. When I was born, I was my brother's baby! He wanted to do everything for me and I went with him everywhere. We are also a military family, so often it was just us that were a constant in each other's lives.
Now, DH and his sister are only 3yr apart and HATE each other. With a vigorous passion.
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