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Trying to stay in the moment and not jump ahead too much. I will allow myself a few minutes to make a list of things that need to get done or I’m stressing about and then move on. A walk after that also helps or get a tea or treat to just take a breath.

Things that helped me was trying to limit my focus. Focus on just this day, just this hour, just these next few minutes. Trying to limit thinking about everything happening today, tomorrow, this week, this month gave me so much anxiety, so focusing on just the immediate and getting through the next few minutes, then the next few hours was key for me.

Also, have you talked to anyone about PPA or PPD? I think my anxiety was probably more on the "normal" side and not as extreme as many people experience, so you may need to extra help.

Hugs

I def have those days. It really depends what relieves you. For me, making a list helps. When I'm REALLY anxious, I make a list of every little thing I have to do. Then checking off that list little by little made me feel good. I also de-stress by cleaning/organizing so at home I'd tell DH not to bother me so I can clean to my hearts desire. And the other part is if he can help relieve some of my stress, I'd ask him to so I have less on my plate.

It's probably counter-intuitive, but I tell myself "Today is going to suck, but it will get better." Then, I adopt what I call the West Wing-mentality, after every task, "What's next?"

Take a walk in the sun. Or just get out and get under the sun. The sun takes your troubles away. That was the best advice I got when I was in a chaotic hell the first few days/weeks after child birth.

@babybunnylove: Just know that going back to work is hard for every parent. Its never an easy transition. Its ok to be struggling with the balance and not have it all figured out.

@babybunnylove: I am so sorry you are struggling! My survival toolkit includes:
-deep breaths
-cursing
-saying over and over again “this too shall pass”
-rewarding myself with little treats for making it through the day like chocolate or beer or both
-sometimes trying to get through the next 5 minutes, next hour, next email, next meeting when it all feels overwhelming can help it feel not so bad.

You will find your groove eventually so try to be patient with yourself. I remember being so overwhelmed when I went back to work and now we are 6 years into the work/family juggle

ETA: we couldn’t afford to hire outside help when lo1 was a baby so we tried to find cheap ways to catch a break, like take and bake pizza on Fridays instead of delivery.

I really did not enjoy parenting an infant. I think I would have liked it for 6-8 hours per day, but the relentless nature was really hard for me. I felt guilty to be relieved to go back to work, and then I was so tired and overwhelmed by my life that I was distracted and ineffective at work.

I had no idea when I would stop feeling that way. I reached a few milestones on that: (1) when my son turned 10mo he started to be a lttle more fun (2) when he started talking he started to be a lot more fun (3) when I finally killed my last nursing session at 14mos, it was really freeing and (4) a few months later, I joined an expensive gym with a shmancy locker room and left the house at 6am twice per week to exercise and shower in peace.m before work.

Those were the milestones that got me on to a path towards feeling like a human being instead of a baby slave.

In hindsight, I wish I had (a) given myself more breaks sooner (which frankly felt impossible at the time due to nursing coupled with an intense hatred of pumping) and (b) understood how freaking awesome my kid would eventually be. During the slog, I had no idea how very worth it all that effort would eventually be.

I am pregnant again now and pretty worried about this issue but I think/hope that I will have better perspective this time. Plus I will have to spend less time focused exclusively on the babies because I can't just ignore my son. And with twins there is no way I can do it all, so I may as well just take some breaks and hang out with someone who speaks English!

I don't know how old your child is, or how long you have felt this way. But I am certain that you will find your parenting sweet spot eventually. I wish I could have had faith in that when my son was so young and demanding.

@babybunnylove: I solo parent during the week (DD is 13 mo old) and I work full time, so I can understand how crushing all the responsibility can feel.

Is there something that you can let go of, stop doing something?
For example, I stopped sweeping and vacuuming during the week. I live in Maine, so we trek in salt, sand and snow and DD is eating on her own, so cheerios are constantly on the floor. It was so draining and defeating that I would sweep every night after her dinner and it would be a mess again 12 hours later after breakfast AND THEN have to do it another 10 hours later after dinner.
We never had guesting during the week, so besides any huge or very wet, staining messes (spaghetti, oatmeal, etc) I just leave it. Its not ideal, but it was a huge relief to me once I decided it didn't need to get done.

So if you can think about something that you can 'let go' of, that may help. I hate it when I'm spending my precious few minutes with DD thinking about what else I 'should' be doing.

One more thing, it sounds like you don't have any time for self-care. With a new job it might be tricky, but could you take a day off (or a half day) while the kids are in daycare?
Then do what you need to do to feel refreshed... go for a walk, sleep, clean, read, etc.?

@babybunnylove: I've been taking zoloft for nearly 13 years (on and off at times) and I haven't noticed any notable side effects. The important thing is to start on a lower dosage and work your way up to the dosage that works for you. I know there are quite a few bees on here who have taken zoloft. I will say that being on zoloft doesn't make my to-do list any shorter, it just makes my ability to deal with it SO much better and I am less likely to ruminate over things. In the past, I didn't like the label of taking behavioral meds but, now, I don't care. For me, it's part of self-care. Obviously, this is a personal decision, I just wanted to share my experience.