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@smuckers: I had the same problem this year! Our house is small and the kids have plenty of toys. In-laws and extended family always give them tons of gifts so we decided to just do stockings and a book at home. They each got one stuffed animal exploding out of their stockings and a few other small things.
Problem is BIL has cancer (found out on Thanksgiving) so we didn't get to see the inlaws and I felt really bad that the kids wound up having a really small Christmas at home because we couldn't go see anyone.
We just had family drop off all the rest and we're going to Skype and open in 2-3 days. I'm not sure my 4 year old is going to survive the suspense. It made me feel more sure of our small Christmas in retrospect. -
This is such a dumb vent, but DH is feeling bummed that no one really got him gifts. I told him early on I was just going to do small things for him this year and had given my good bigger idea to his mom to give him- so she would pay for it, which is part of my gift (not spending money), right? My parents sent us a wine club thing which is really nice (my suggestion), but it came before. I gave him small thoughtful things that he seemed to like. But last night and this morning he’s been all sad he didn’t get anything fun, and I’m like, dude. You are putting this on me. I bought gifts for our kids, my five nephews and niece, my parents, your mom, one of your brothers. And now I feel shitty that I didn’t get you a bigger gift. We haven’t even seen his mom or brother yet. I don’t want to go bringing this up but last year he got “me” Adirondack chairs that we had to assemble and finish ourselves, meaning he did t himself in September of this year while I watched the kids alone the whole time, and a waffle iron. And he’s like, I was hoping someone would get me a new shirt or something. Oh, really? I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT YOU A SHIRT IF YOU HAD TOLD ME THAT.
So now I feel crappy that I didn’t do enough for him. I worry we did too much or too little for the kids. I’m just kind of annoyed about it all. Plus we did Christmas with my family this year after doing it with his for the last 3 years, and my family just doesn’t do as big gifts as his- which i prefer because i feel like his family just buys random crap to have a gift to give.Another tiny smaller vent- my family doesn’t do gift receipts. Why? My sister actually said, no, I’m confident in my gifts, I nailed it. Ok then, but has it occurred that someone else may have done the same thing? Just, weird.
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@Foodnerd81: I would not feel bad and I would sort of tell your husband to get over it. Like I get it but I also think that’s Christmas as an adult right? As you saw above my husband didn’t get me anything and I can guarantee you he doesn’t feel bad about it. So I would approach this with the confidence of a middle age white man and not take it on. We do enough
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@Foodnerd81: That's so frustrating! Can you just be like "We haven't seen your mom yet - I'm sure she got you something. Stop complaining."
Curious - did he get YOU something awesome this year??
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Every year, December sneaks up on me and I end up rushing around like a crazy person. After it's all over, I vow not to repeat that but inevitably, it happens over and over. I got caught unprepared with my son's advent calendar, so now I made a list and will add and purchase items as I think of them. I also had the usual Christmas Eve panic about not having a sufficient Santa gift for my son, but he was pleased with the one item and hasn't expressed the desire for more.
We also decided not to pack away our stockings and to do Christmas in July (stockings only) so that we're doing something low key but still fun in the summer when we don't really have gift giving opportunities.
I also explained to my son that he's got to cool it on the birthday party favors. I don't even want to disclose what I spent on plastic themed junk. It's relevant because he's got a December birthday and I basically told him it's either that stuff or an additional gift from us for his birthday. I think he got it.
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@Adira: he actually did put a lot of thought into my gift- this year- although I’m not sure how it will work out in the end. He is getting me art classes at a local place. I used to do a lot of art and the idea is something fun for me to look forward to away from the kids every week while working on something I enjoy. So I’m not sure this particular class/ school will be the right fit but the idea is a good one.
And I did remind him we haven’t seen his mom yet, who he knows I gave my good gift idea too (a thinner packable puffy coat). He doesn’t mean to harp on it but it’s also making me feel crappy.BUT my kids are totally loving the gifts I thought they would! And even sharing them. And two of their bigger Santa gifts were actually hand me downs to us which is even better!
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Just read through and somehow feel not alone in this world without a soul to vent to. Let's just say- I finally closed a tab to search a hotel night after I read the vents. I'm with you! Reality is tough pill to swallow on Christmas.
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@808love: Same! Confession: When I saw this post initially, I was like "here comes the bitch fest," but this has been downright therapuetic.
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Can I just say the post Christmas let down is rough this year. For all of us. I'm sick, the kids are a little sick. 3yo is a mess after so much excitement, sugar and over stimulation. Baby is great but so very stuffed up. I feel like my head is going to explode but I went to work this morning just to get away from the kids. And I have to somehow figure out how to fit about 74797346 new toys into our tiny cabin before we leave for Hawaii next week. And I'm solo parenting until we leave. Really looking forward to the end of all of this holiday chaos.
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@crazydoglady: Yes I didn't open/read it until this morning....it actually helped.
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This thread has really helped me. I was having a little pity party because our trip to see my parents was ROUGH. DH and I just didn't get along the whole time and we were fighting and arguing in front of my parents and the kids were just wild and over tired and over sugared.
The whole trip made me so, so bitter because like so many of you - I did MOFO everything to make Christmas special for our 2 DS, DH, his parents, his step parents, my parents, etc. and all DH did was order me a coat that I sent him a link to. Not one surprise from him to me, not one stocking stuffer, nothing. Plus I did all the packing and wrapping and airline ticket buying and wore the very large 19 month through the airport and held him all flight.....and yet he was the one who needed to take naps and was acting all grouchy and exhausted. Every year I say I'm just not going to do this crap anymore.... and every year I get suckered back in. So anyway ----I hear ya ladies. I really do.
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@Mrs. Turtle: solo parenting, sick, amid the chaos is extra extra tough. I caught a cold a week before Christmas but was more or less on the mend before the holiday, and my kids are coming down with it now. It’s “just a cold” but it really makes it hard to do anything.
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Thank you all for venting in sharing. It really helped me. I did not care for the holidays this year and our 3yo is over stimulated, over tired and crabby. Getting him back on track has been a nightmare. Honestly my husband and I were just saying we would have preferred to skip out this year on the festivities (I know we sound like grinches it was just too much!) hugs to everyone going through stressful situations right now
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@Foodnerd81: It really does. I'm having trouble getting excited for Hawaii, and I've been looking forward to this post-adoption trip for years! I powered through the holiday with dayquil but I didn't take any this morning and I'm paying for it. UGH. Really need some kid free time to clean up the house, get things in order, make room for the new toys and clothes they got, etc. Kid free time and energy.
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We do Hanukkah, which was really early this year, but I commiserate with a lot of you and had similar frustrations! We do a gift each night and dh didn’t plan any of them, and gave me shit about buying too much even though each night was very small (like, lo1’s favorite gift cost )5, another night$3 lol). We said no gifts for each other since we had both bought ourselves stuff on sale on Black Friday, but after I told him I was annoyed I had done all the work to make the holiday special, he got me a gift and it’s like dude thAts not the point and now I feel bad since I didn’t get you a present!
Also my birthday is in a couple weeks and he’s already botched it but in a way that I feel bad complaining. Like, he told me we’re going out to dinner which is nice (we also haven’t had a date night since I think August...) but also going to a comedy club which is suuuper random— definitely something he wants to do but I actually don’t really like. Wtf? He also let slip that he bought me a scarf— I’ve been saying I want a new one but have really particular opinions about what I want... he gave it to me early and I don’t really like it but feel bad about exchanging it even though he does that with gifts I give him so 🤷♀️
Also he has to work this week so I’m taking off to watch the girls while daycare is closed and he needs to step up and watch them more while he’s home so I can do some work tasks and he’s just not stepping up and distracting our kiddos who keep finding me while I desperately try to cram some work in...I have a work trip and job interview next week and a big deadline next month that I’m trying to get on top of before the semester starts....plus syllabi to write...and if I steal away for 5 mins the toddler bangs at my door.
All extremely first world problems but I’m stressed!
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@jhd: Same. 5 gifts. 3 from Santa and 2 from us and it still felt overboard somehow.
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@smuckers: my DD’s Santa gifts have been Craigslist finds the past couple years. Last year was her big girl bed (new mattress but secondhand frame) and this year was a secondhand American Girl doll. I have no guilt, she doesn’t know the difference and I am happy to buck consumerism at least a bit. Stocking stuffers (also from Santa) are practical things like undies, socks, hair clips, toothbrush... We only got her like 4 or 5 other gifts, which we thought was plenty. Kids get overwhelmed by too much all at once.
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