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@snowjewelz: ugh yes, number 2. Following for advice. Plus we have a newborn in the mix!

Ugh, are you living my life? I have exactly zero advice for #1, as we often scream through clothing changes in the morning, but want to echo previous posters in that we've completely taken the argument out of dinner by just not worrying about it. If she eats the amount we designate, she gets snacks later. If not, she doesn't. Some nights she eats, and some not. At this age, she seems to get the actions=consequences piece, and it's working out well so far. We also let her keep her dinner in the fridge until bedtime so if she decides she's hungry she always has the option to eat more dinner and earn her snack.

1. If you want to keep tv in the morning, I would make the rule that she has to get dressed or the tv goes off. If she refuses, runs away, etc. TV goes off. Personally, I have found that tv in the morning is horrible for my son's mood, so I don't do it anymore.

2. As long as she's getting 2 adequate meals a day I wouldn't stress about dinner. My 2 year old often only has a few bites of fruit, or nothing at all for dinner. With my son, reading a book to him at dinner worked to get him to stay in his seat.

Can she sleep in her clothes for the next day? That way changing happens at night, not in the morning?

No advice really, but right there with you, especially lately!
It just seems like his mind is going 100 different places so if I tell him to get dressed, I have to tell him 10 times before he'll do it. I used to bribe him with you-tube on my phone, but that rarely works anymore.
I usually ask him at 7 to get ready (giving him 15 minutes to do so). If he's not ready by 7:15 I pick out clothes for him and get him dressed.
Dinner is hit and miss too, sometimes he eats great, other times he just plays with it, but we can usually get him with "2 more bites and then you can go", and can often trick him into 1 more bite after that so he's at least eating something. Vegetables are impossible right now.

My DD (now 4.5) went through a tough stage right after she turned 3 (right around when baby brother was born). What worked for us was being tougher on her and just ignoring tantrums and crying. I especially am a big softy and would always comfort and try to negotiate/bribe and that just was not working. Her behavior greatly improved after a few days of tough love and not getting attention for crying.

For example, with the clothes situation, which we had issues with too, I would give her two options to choose from that I knew she liked, if she didn't pick I would pick for her, then I would help her get dressed even though tears or whatever. I would not comfort or get frustrated, basically just have no reactions. Then after I would just continue like nothing happened. Like, "ok, now that we are dressed it's time for breakfast, eggs sounds good huh?"

As for the food situation, I don't do food battles, if your hungry you will eat. I did have to be strict with no snacks until you eat your food(especially if I made her something she specifically asked for!) then if she asked for a snack I would just bring her plate back out.

I feel like this sounds mean but I swear I'm actually a huge softy! I think she just responded well to knowing where the boundaries were.

I feel your pain, threenagers are real and this was with our LO who sailed through 2s without any drama at all!

Morning changing times were frustrating and lots of tears, we found giving him a list of things that needed to be done before going to kinder helped. So getting changed, breakfast, teeth, toilet and out the door. Sometimes we had success with tempting him with tv in the AM only if he did all his jobs, but that could backfire. Now I won’t use it unless we are running really early and I need the time (for LO2).

Dinnertime was a crapshoot for nearly a year. LO Is 3.9 and is only just eating proper dinner again! For most of this year he didn’t eat dinner but would then complain of being hungry at bedtime

Bedtime was another rigmarole where he did not have any interest in sleeping in his own room...scared of monsters etc.

Has been very testing BUT the upside is that he is super sweet and kind to his younger brother. And is a genuine help most of the time when it comes to his bro.

All of this to say, I think it’s getting better as we approach 4! He still cries and tantrums but only when he’s overtired and pushed to his limit, which we try with all our might to avoid (keep him awake, no naps, home by 6pm no matter what so that he can be in bed by 7).

I found letting go of stuff also helped. He was bathed every day until he turned 3! Now it’s only when we are all in the mood otherwise it turns into WW3.

Good luck!! I found it so hard and like he was a new person (in a less than ideal way), but I think it’s not permanent!

@snowjewelz: i’m with you, I commiserate and fully understand the pain!! I once just let him go to daycare in his Batman pyjamas because I couldn’t be bothered dealing with a big fight AND I was running late for work.

I keep him far away from the supermarket, toy shops and basically avoid the zoo/aquarium at all costs because all he wants is us to buy him the dinky toys at the end rather than seeing the animals.

I find if I reach my limit & just ignore him he gets concerned and sort of tries to get my attention by being good again, but I’m not a fan of the silent treatment so I don’t do it on purpose, more in a self-preservation way!

@Alba4: 4 is harder than 3?! I’m scared!

@snowjewelz: We have a three-nager too but more of the attitude part not so much the regecting! I definetly place consequinces like, your behavior owl at school is down = no Vampirina at home she definetly makes the connection and knows now, also the dinner thing G does it too, wants pretzels and says but I am hungry....I leave her plate on the table and calmly continue to tell her your belly needs dinner not snacks if you are hungry dinner is right there! She will go back to it 80% of the time!

Turned 3 in Sept and same as you - two was actually really pleasant overall. 2.5 and on was a slow decline and 3 has been trying. However I still think he’s easier than a lot of 3 year olds so I shouldn’t complain.

Changing clothes he’s mostly fine with. If he doesn’t want to change my threat is that if he can’t cooperate he will loose a story at nap or bedtime (whichever is next). And I have to follow through (no empty threat). That almost always works for most things (brush teeth, get into bed, change into PJs, take bath) EXCEPT sit for dinner.

So that’s where I’m on the same page as you. In the last month or two he just doesn’t ever want to sit for a meal. Lunch is better but dinner is almost impossible. He says “but I just want to play”. And I’ve mostly stopped battling. Because it’s not that he doesn’t like the food. He just literally has no interest. He does eat well for breakfast, lunch and snacks. And I’ve read that dinner is usually the hardest because they’ve been eating all day and they are usually tired and spent.
So I guess I’m hoping it’s just a phase but as long as he’s eating well other times of the day I’m tying not to stress about it.

No specific advice except to say that I always have much more success when I work with my kids rather than against them! I remember my Mum telling me that I would never win a battle against a baby and I've carried and applied that bit of advice with me as my kids have grown up and through the toddler years!

And the only other thing I'd say, is don't even turn the tv on!

We had success with "sticker lists" - they were strips of paper (I made 4 per sheet of A4) with clip arts pictures of tasks on and a space next to each for a sticker. We made one for night time and one for morning, with tasks like brushing teeth, getting dressed and putting on shoes. Doing the task without too much fuss earned her a sticker, a complete list earned her a treat to eat in the car.