I am 32w preggo with my third. DH and I have our eyes on four kiddo's. We have also after our second said never again and here we are. We have had lots of ups and downs, some solid tests to our relationship and parenting skills the last couple years as could be expected, with two larger out of the norm wrenches that we have been able to work through.

Physically this pregnancy is so different than the first two. Mentally I am actually really happy with how I am doing, but physically I am a mess.

I am not putting pressure on myself to "have" to have another, very much, one kid at a time, but this pregnancy quite often now has me questioning how on earth I could do it again.

Then I deal with the guilt of "we could bring another kid in this world" and are making a conscious decision not to.

Messed up, but somehow probably "normal" in everyone goes through this in some form along the way when thinking about the size of their family.

I know once time passes, no matter what life event the bad fades and you forget certain things, how do you really hold on to a negative point to influence decision making down the road?