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We help my mom out, but not with direct cash. She's on our cell phone plan, and uses our prime, that sort of thing. She's super broke because my stepdad totally screwed her over, so it's not her fault. We would actually be happy to give her cash, but she won't accept it.

I'm Vietnamese and my dad makes horrible financial decisions and makes my mom pretty much pay for his mistakes. Because of this, I don't get along with my dad and if my mom asked for my help, I would help her. They haven't asked me for money. I did just have twins, so I can see why they wouldn't ask. They haven't asked even before I was pregnant. I do have an older sister with a very successful business and they have gotten money from her. As for me, I do have them both on my cell phone plan. My dad is in Vietnam right now caring for my sick grandmother and I'm not exactly happy he is using his cell phone and I'm going to have to split the roaming and international costs between my sister and I. I do get annoyed when my parents do things that knowingly cost us. Oh, my mom wrote me a check for the twins but I can't cash it. I just can't. She needs the money more than the twins do.
My financial attachment to them is minimal... Just the cell phone bill that I split my parent's portion with my brother and sister. I do have another sister that refuses to help them out. I really only agreed to adding my dad and mom to my account because I wanted a way to make sure we could always reach them. I think my dad has gotten his phone turned off in the past or would make my mom pay for all of it. My dad is retired and my mom is recently unemployed, but my mom was the one who saved her money and generally a better spender. Though, they both make bad decisions sometimes. (I can't say I'm perfect either so that's why I would help my mom.) My dad refuses to change his spending habits after my siblings and I tried to have an intervention. He's hopeless. In a perfect world, my mom would divorce my dad, but that's not gonna happen.
But yeah, I sorta understand where you are coming from. My parents didn't pay for my college education (which I never expected them to) so it's not like I owe them or something.

Oh, my mom has mentioned that one of my siblings will probably have to take them in when they get old. Like an asian tradition of respect and honor. When I was younger, I used to complain to my siblings that they expected us to take care of them. Now, that I'm older and I live across the country from my parents, I would consider letting my mom stay with us. Selfish reasons because she can cook for us. Though, if my dad had to stay with us, I would say no. I love my dad but he is too much.

My parents nothing, my Fil though...we pay for his meals often and have bought him a car.

We try to show both sets of parents that we appreciate all they've done to set us up for life. We usually do that in the form of large gifts at Christmas time, usually something we know they need for the house, because they would never accept lump sums of cash. We do this more often for my parents since they are in a worse financial situation than my IL's who are very comfortable.

Also, a side note, I have a good friend who is Korean. She's in her late 30s and single, no kids. If you didn't say you were married and SAHM I would think for sure that you were her by your explanation of your parents and how you support them. This is her to a T and it has always frustrated me because SHE is stretched so thin in order to help her parents. And her parents don't do much to improve their own situation so it really frustrates me to see her struggle and they just take and take and do very little themselves. They made some bad real estate decisions, also immigrants, and I think they don't know what to do next OR are too proud to do something they think of as "below" them. Now I understand a bit more that maybe it's cultural, but it's still frustrating! Oh and she helps her sister too...who is married! So I just don't get it. It's not like she's taking in millions each year. She makes an average salary, not above what I make, so I find it so confusing that her parents and siblings just rely on her.

Before my Dad passed we all helped however we could- my sister gave him a car and cell, occasional new clothes, I cooked and gave him groceries, my other sister sent grocery money or food.

If my parents ask for money, its usually in a loan and it is very hard (and rare) for them to do. They did aak twice but it was under extreme circumstances and they had exhausted all other options before. And they dis pay us back. Otherwise, I don't give them anything. Not because I'm selfish but because they don't need it. They both still work and are living comfortably. His parents are loaded so they REALLY don't need our money.

I will say, if my parents did need our help, we would be there with what we could afford or do in a heartbeat.

I am also Korean and we support my parents financially. They live in our investment home and we pay some bills for them as does my brother and his wife. They made some bad business decisions and didn't really have knowledge of financial management/retirement plans. My dad is still Working and enjoys doing so and they both are very frugal which helps a lot. We're more than happy to do help and am thankful we have the means to do so; and dh (non Korean) has been so supportive. My mom watches our kids and her time is invaluable to us and I have no problem supporting my parents because they're the reason I have my life today. The hard part was getting them to be open and honest about their finances. Not providing the help/support.

Nothing. My parents have planned well and will be all set for the rest of their life. However, we know that helping my in laws is in our future. They have no savings and rely on both their paychecks. If one of them loses their job, we'll have to pitch in.

Both nothing. But my MIL is awful with money and I assume she will ask for help in the future.

I think this might be cultural, because we don't give our parents money ever. We do buy them gifts for occasions and we will treat them to dinner, or I will treat my mom to a pedicure or something, but honestly THEY treat US a lot more.

If they ever needed help and we were able to provide it, we would, but I would be very surprised if they would ever ask.

Nothing. My parents are in a good place financially so I don't have to worry about them. DH's parents are a little stretched financially due to DH's dad being out of work for a few years (he works a full-time and a part-time job now), and still having one kid in college. Neither set of parents has ever asked us for money.

I do know that DH's older sister helps their parents out a little by paying for my MIL's and BIL's cell phones bills. Also, both my DH and SIL will not cash any checks that their mom writes them for their birthdays.

Nothing. Both of our parents are very well set up financially. I had no idea it was so common to help out parents with finances....in my experience, the parents are the ones with the extra money!

@yoursilverlining: that's the case with my MIL, she has savings but she retired early and spending money at an exuberant rate.

My parents aren't super well-off, but they are comfortable and have never asked us for anything. Even when my father was laid off and went back to school, they were able to support themselves, although we of course would have assisted them if they needed it. They have saved for retirement but I'm afraid it won't be enough; I'm assuming we'll give them some assistance at some point but it probably won't be for quite awhile and I'm not sure how I'll manage to get them to tell me if they need it.

DH has given money to both his parents in the past (they're divorced) but less so since DD was born. Both of them are better spenders than savers, unfortunately. They're financially okay on a day-to-day basis, but if something big comes up, they will ask for money to cover it. Recently, we helped with some college fees for DH's younger brother, so I guess it was indirect help to DH's father and stepmother, since they couldn't cover the costs themselves. We make a pretty good living and as long as our immediate family's needs are met, I don't mind helping out here and there -- not sure how I would feel if it was a more constant thing, though. DH might resent it somewhat if that happened, but I'm sure he'd feel obligated anyway. And I'm sure it is partly cultural, since I'm from a stereotypical WASPy been-here-for-generations background while DH immigrated here and is from a culture where relying on your adult offspring to support you is much more common.

I'm so impressed with everyone who is able to help their parents out like this! Go you guys!

We have never been in the situation so have never given money to either sets of parents, but thinking about it we currently would need a fair bit of warning to cough out any extra cash we live a pretty comfortable life and can afford for me to SAH but there are huge sacrifices made in order for this to happen. First world sacrifices, for sure, but still. There's not heaps leftover after we put away savings.

Our parents are all comfortable and would never dream of asking us, but we do of course give (non-cash) gifts whenever we get ourselves organised! My mum doesn't like it even when we spend too much on a gift for her! Living overseas & interstate from both sets of parents mean we easily spend several $100s in plane flights to go see them each year - which I think means a lot to them.

But good on all of you who do, it's food for thought!

My parents are not immigrants, but I come from a culture where you expect others to take care of you and nobody plans for retirement. My parents believe they lived their life in faith, and faith will see them through...

It's a really hard thing for DH to handle because his parents have been very responsible and are set for retirement. My Dad works very hard still at 63, but they go through money like its water and I don't even want to know all the debt they are in. I know they have asked my older brother for money, but have not asked us (yet).

My maternal grandmother was the same way, and now she lives with my Aunt who takes care of her. My parents fully expect one of us 4 kids to take them in when they cannot care for themselves any longer. We just purchased a home with a finished basement with this in mind, because as much as I hate it, what can we do? They are my parents and I love them and they aren't going to wind up not cared for in the end. I can only do better for my LO in the future.

Wow. I'm surprised truly by how common this seems to be. We've never, and I can't imagine ever, needing to give my parents or ILs money. Not that they are wealthy or anything, but they've worked hard and planned well for their future. That must be so hard when raising your own family.

I can't imagine providing for parents financially while still caring for young children, paying for daycare, etc. Blows my mind!

Nothing. My parents would never accept money from us.