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@MamaCate: how are you addressing it now? To me that would be a time out offense (or loss of privileges). It would be one thing if she was playing rough with him with no ill intent, but in the instance you described, she's being deliberately mean to upset him, and that wouldn't fly with me.

@MamaCate: yeah I think if you pick a consistent consequence and stick with it that would help. Also maybe something to redirect her? Maybe encourage her to stand in front of him and try to get him to use the walker to follow her so she can engage with him in a positive way? My older LO loves to feel like she is helping or teaching the baby.

LO2 isn't here yet, but we deal with this somewhat with DS and the dog toys. From my perspective the dog can't defend herself (kinda like a baby) and DS has no business playing with the dog toys (same way I'd feel about the walker). Some toys are meant for sharing or playing with together,but he can't just take her toys. I would say to him, "D it's not nice to take M's toys. It's important to be nice to her because she's nice to us, right? Can you give her toy back and go play with X?" Usually that works. If he still doesn't cooperate or is mean about it, I'd give him a timeout.

I feel like I'm constantly intervening! I don't let Xander (3) take toys away from Logan (18m) unless he asks and offers a trade and then only if Logan is okay with it. Logan tends to be pretty easy and agreeable, so Xander just take stuff from him and Logan wouldn't be phased, but I'm trying to teach Xander not to do that, even if Logan doesn't mind. He should always ask first!

Agreed with @regberadaisy: about leaving a toy means your turn is done. In that case where the younger left the walker and the older swooped in and took it, I'd remind the younger that it's the older's turn and the younger can get it back in a few minutes.

As far as the chasing stuff - I try not to intervene if they seem to be having fun. Like Xander will push Logan over and it makes me nervous, but Logan seems to think it's hysterical, so I try to let them be. But if Xander is doing something that's upsetting Logan (or vice-versa), I'll intervene and tell them to stop because the other doesn't like it (usually it's Xander chasing Logan and Logan just wants to be left alone).

@Truth Bombs: Well, you've got to learn sometime, right?? I don't think it's ever too early to learn about sharing and taking turns.

@Truth Bombs: I wouldn't say my LO is actively trying to be mean to his sister, but there is a LOT of pushing boundaries--like he knows he' s not supposed to sit on her, but he does it 1,000 x a day anyway. But he does seem genuinely sorry if he hurts her. I also think some growing pains are normal as they kind of learn to deal with each other. We have dealt with a lot of anger issues with him as he has adjusted to her, so I also feel like time outs would just make him feel more rejected and more sad, and kind of make the whole thing worse.

@Truth Bombs: as for the stealing a walker situation, I also let him play with her toys/trade her a different toy even if there's no real need for him to play with a baby toy--again, I think it has more to do with the adjustment to being a big brother/having a baby in the house rather than any great desire to actually play with a baby toy. So I just feel like it's better not to make a big deal aboutmaking him give it back. But maybe I am just over sensitive since we've had such issues.

@Truth Bombs: I'm with you in *leave it lose it* not being developmentally appropriate/productive for a 10 month old (I also think it could reinforce undesirable behavior in older kiddos), and that it doesn't have to be equal to be fair.

@hilsy85: I don't do time outs for this stuff, either. But also, I'm not really into time outs in general...I might give 1-2 a week and it's really only when LO needs a chance to calm down and gather her thoughts (or to give ME a chance to calm down and gather my thoughts)--I don't use it as a punishment.

To the OP...If I were getting all Janet Lansbury about it, I think probably I would say that the best solution is to stop the action before it starts. But realistically, I know it's not always possible to be 2 inches away from your kids. Sometimes you have to pee. Or prepare a bottle/lunch/clean something. So the parent can't always stop the toy snatching before it happens. So in that case, I just try to redirect and manage the situation after it's happened without punishing older LO (who in my case is only 2.5). LO1 is not really old enough to understand how to be patient and not play with someone else's toys 100% of the time.

And I also think in a daycare situation, I would be very upset if the teachers only had time outs in their toolbag. I know in daycare kids are snatching toys from each other all day long, and I wouldn't think it's appropriate for 7 kids to be in time outs at a time, or for my kid to be in a time out 10-12 times a day (however many times she is the toy snatcher...which, I've seen them with my own eyes, it's a lot). So some of it I let go. I mean, I obviously remind LO1 that she needs to take turns and wait until LO2 is done with it, but I don't think LO1 is old enough to practice sharing perfectly all the time. So that's not something I would punish her for, personally. Redirect, remind, teach, yes....punish, no. Half the time I know that I as the parent should be more present because these things happen when I'm doing something else and not really down on the floor playing with the girls.