LO will be 9 months old next week and still gets up every 2 (maybe 3) hours ev.er.y.night. Dh and I are beyond exhausted. Any advice?
Oh and I should add, he's not getting solids consistently because of a gi disorder/food intolerances...
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I forget, have you done any sort of sleep training? How much/often is he eating during the day?
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Well mine is not quite 6 mos old. But at around 4 mos he started to go for longer stretches sporadically during the night. So, we just started to wait it out and see if he would settle back down by himself before going in. We were not consistent with the length of time but I usually would pick a time interval (usually 10 minutes) when he would wake up and force myself to wait at least that long.
Now he rarely wakes up and almost always self-soothes when he does. We started solids a few weeks ago, but he was already STTN at that point.
What have you tried so far?
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I don't remember - are you guys bottle or BF? Are there any solids that you can give to him consistently? D was waking up every 2-3 hours too until we both sleep trained and we started ramping up the amount that he ate during the day. Can you tell if he's waking up and feeding for comfort or if he's hungry?
I thought D was waking up just for comfort, but after we sleep trained he was still waking up once around 3 or 4am and quite obviously hungry. Once we increased his food intake during the day he naturally dropped that last wake up.
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Have you tried sleep training? How many oz is he getting during the day? Is he being treated for any discomfort as a result of his GI issues?
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@ShootingStar: bottle - neocate formula.
Personally, I think he's hungry. I try to give him his paci but it doesn't last. I think he gets a looooot of his calories at night and I've tried giving him more during the day but he smacks his bottle away when he's done. I don't know how to switch it around!
He doesn't have any safe foods - thought we did but turned into a fail.
@hilsy85: he eats approximately 3 ounces every 3 hours during the day. He has had a reaction to all meds he's taken - trying to see about getting a reflux med compounded. I don't think I'm strong even to do CIO... But I'm open to trying a different approach.
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@Ash: Can you give him more frequent feedings in the day so that his overall day feeds are still more than his night feeds? When he wakes up in the middle of the night, is he screaming and full on awake, and do you guys go to him right away?
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@Ash: Have you tried decreasing the amount of oz. he gets during the feedings at night? I had the same issue and cut the amount down slowly each awakening. I set time limits - for example, if he woke up 3 hours after bedtime (ate 6 oz), then I would only offer 3 oz. He eventually started stretching it out some.
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@Mrs. High Heels: welllll... We cosleep to make it easier on us since he's up so often (totally was NOT my plan at all). So usually he starts to rotch around then cries and we feed him then. He will not (I repeat, will not) eat more during the day. I waste so much formula trying to get him to eat more often.
@Tanjowen: so I told my husband this plan and he said "if we decrease the amount he gets, he'll just be up MORE." Think this is true?
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@Ash: I think I would probably try decreasing the amount he gets at night, and see if that helps him eat more during the day. But he just might not be able to hold more than 3oz at a time...is he eating more than that in 1 sitting at night?
FWIW my LO didn't STTN til 13.5 months, so I feel your pain!
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@Ash: What are his issues? Allergies, GI upset? M slept HORRIBLE on Neocate compared to soy formula. The only thing that helped us was doing four 7oz bottles during the day with 3 meals. That got us down to 1-2 wake ups but I think you are right, he's probably hungry. Neocate doesn't seem to be very filling. Our GI said no more than 32oz for formula a day so I would give him a full bottle of water with a couple scoops of formula in it.
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@Ash: one thing i learned when we dropped night feeds is that if he doesn't eat at night, he will make up for it by eating more during the day. meaning that, you can't get him to eat more during the day because he eats at night right now. if you skip a night or two of feeds, then he will eat more during the day. so unfortunately, you will have to start off with skipping night feeds for a night or two before he starts to eat more during the day. it probably won't work the other way around where you try to get him to eat more during the day so he won't eat at night.
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@Ash: I just wanted to say sorry---I think your situation is unique because your baby doesn't necessarily have a sleeping problem, he has an eating problem. And if he's taking only 3 oz every 3 hours during the day, then he needs the calories at night.
My LO had feeding issues as well (from MSPI going too long I think), and then she was slow to get into solids because of the same issues. And she didn't ever STTN night about a week shy of her 1 year birthday....And even now, she doesn't do it consistently.
I totally understand how lack of sleep is miserable--can you and your husband split the night or trade whole nights so that you get some rest some times? Or do you have any family that could come visit you for a week and take nights so you both have a break to sleep, in the same bed, together?
My in-laws and mother both live far from us...but 1-2 times this past year, they've flown to see us an insisted on taking some night wakeups. And although I was hesitant at first (like, no one else can feed my baby like I can!) I let them do it and really caught up on much-needed sleep.
Hang in there. I hope you get his food stuff figured out soon.
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@Ash: 3oz every 3 hours? thats a newborn schedule. I'm sorry that sound so hard! If I were you I'd try giving a couple of bottle at night that are 3 oz water and 2 oz formula (or 2 scoops). Then back down to only 1 scoop. Its just an idea but it might make him hungrier the next day to increase his calorie intake.
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@Ash: if he's truly hungry , then yes, it won't work. If it's more a comfort wakeup, then I discovered giving just a little bit helped soothe him back to sleep. We had a few times we got it wrong, but eventually we all learned
I just realized too you mentioned in your post that your LO is 9 months. I think that's a growth spurt time? During growth spurts my LO woke 4-5 times a night and downed full bottles. So I wonder if that might be part of it.
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9 months was especially horrible for us and my little one didn't have feeding issues. Maybe that is part of it. I don't really have any suggestions as I fed her at night until she was 18 months.
It is rough, and I hope you find a solution. In retrospect, I do wish we'd stopped the middle of the night feed(s) earlier, but I had to first wean her off of bottles before bed (I made the mistake of nursing to sleep until 11 months, then giving her a bottle to sleep after that - well, not really a mistake, since it worked when I most needed it to, but I wish I had stopped it earlier). I had to do a little bit of sleep training, which was really hard for me. I honestly don't think I could do it if I really thought she was hungry, but that is just me. I do think it's possible that feeding him less at night, if you were able to manage that, might help him to eat more frequently during the day and get you out of that vicious cycle. Again, I really don't know the answer, but I hope things get better for you. My LO is 20 months and has only been STTN reliably for the past month or so, so I feel your pain.
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@Tanjowen: good point about 9 months! @Ash: there is a common 9 month sleep regression! He might be going through it. If that's the case I would try to ride it out, and if his sleep still doesn't improve in a few weeks I'd revisit the issue. I hope you get some better sleep soon...
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@Ash: sorry, but if you think he's hungry then I wouldn't be attempting to drop motn feedings. That just seems cruel.
I think because he is unable to take much solid food and has a GI disorder/food intolerances, there isn't much you can do but feed him when he's hungry.
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I don't have much advice to give, but I feel your pain. My 9 month old wakes up every 2 hours most nights to eat and then usually goes back to sleep (if I'm lucky). Nothing else will settle him down, and it's pretty draining. I think it's a combination of sleep regression and a growth spurt. I hope this is just a phase for our LO's, and this will pass soon.
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I think @ladybee: has a good idea about using 2/3 or 1/2 strength formula. You might also trying to stretch out his feeds incrementally. If he's hungrier in between feeding, he would hopefully eat more.
I'd also maybe experiment with either using faster flow nipples, or with sippies/straw cups that will get him to eat more volume in the same amount of time.
Unfortunately if he only gets ~15oz during the day he's definitely going to be hungry at night. You could try some sleep training though. Maybe if he gets good at putting himself back to sleep he might sleep longer stretches before waking up from hunger.
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@Ash: I think you should be speaking to a doctor about this. I think your situation is too medically complex to be getting advice from non-experts. If your LO is unable to eat much during the day for whatever reason, I can't imagine watering down bottles and trying to cut out feedings.
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Sleep deprivation is the worst.
I agree with other posters, if LO is only getting 15oz during the day, then he's not waking up at night for a comfort feeding, he needs the calories and is likely very hungry.
In your case, I wouldn't recommend sleep training. Sleep training only works when your LO is able to sleep through the night (and doesn't need to wake up to consume more calories).
I'd suggest talking to your pedi at LO's 9 month check up to figure out a plan that works for your LO. I would get ideas for increasing LO's calories during the day and see if that leads to better night time sleep.
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I've been going through the same issues, and have thought about starting a thread on the same thing, but felt like dropping motn feedings for a baby that's not eating during the day is so different from traditional night weaning, so i wasn't sure how to go about it.
my lo's issues are different from yours, but my lo wasn't eating more than 5-7 oz all day so she was waking to eat all night. we met with her ped, and he actually suggested amping up her solids (this may not be an option for you at the moment depending on his GI issues) because getting her on more solids actually gave her a base for the milk (she's on BM) so she wasn't as sick from it and so she was able to drink more. Her sleep is not yet back to normal, but we're down to 2 feedings - one at 1ish and one at 5am, which is a drastic improvement. she's now taking around 8-10 oz of milk during the day (still not great) but she's eating a ton of solids. so not perfect by any stretch, but it's improving.
i know i've never been comfortable trying to sleep train her when i know she's hungry, so it's obviously taking longer than it might have if we starved her for a night or two to switch up her schedule. that just seems cruel to me, and i don't have the heart for it.
Anyway, not sure any of this is helpful, but i'm right there with you momma!
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@QBbride: I don't think her intent is to be cruel, I think she is just looking for opinions of others bee's who might be in similar situations. I can't imagine getting up every 2 hours with a 9 month old. I can only imagine I'd feel desperate!
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@Pirouette: thats great that you go LO down to 1-2 night feedings! Congrats!
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@ladybee: I'd feel desperate too! But as a NICU nurse, I see tons of complex medical issues and it's definitely not a one size fits all approach. Especially if there are food intolerance/GI issues, you can't exactly compare the issues to a "normal" baby and I think asking for advice from those with not much medical knowledge/mothers of "normal" babies doesn't make much sense.
I put "normal" in quotations, I don't mean to offend by saying her baby is abnormal but I just mean compared with one who doesn't have feeding issues.
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@ladybee: thanks!! I only hope it lasts haha. It's been a rough few weeks over here and I don't think we're out of the woods yet but it's a start I hope!
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@QBbride: I'm a pediatric nurse... Your advice was unnecessary. I've spoken to drs and I've been advised that he shouldn't be getting up so often. Thanks anyway. Totally not helpful at all.
As for everyone else, your words are greatly appreciated!
I'm hoping this is part of a 9 month sleep regression/growth spurt and we'll come out of it soon. We were getting up once and that was great... At least I know I'm not alone! THANK YOU!
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@Ash: I wasn't trying to be unhelpful. I was simply saying if he's not taking much solids and only feeds 3oz q3h then yes, he needs to eat overnight. Just as you said, you think he's hungry. As a paediatric nurse I'm sure you know that he probably needs at the very least 160mL/kg/day so if he's not eating most of his calories during the day, then he will continue to need to feed at night to make up the rest of his calories.
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@QBbride: perhaps it isn't what you said but how you said it that seemed rude. Instead of just assuming she hasn't asked a professional for medical advice you could have simply asked what her dr has said about the situation.
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@QBbride: your comment implied that I'm being cruel. And no, my baby does not need 53oz a day. I appreciate your help but it's coming across as if you think I'm incapable of taking care of my baby.
@sarah.clarisse:
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@Pirouette: I think you can still sleep train and not get too worried about whether she's hungry. When I first sleep trained it helped him connect his sleep cycles, so he started doing longer stretches of 6 or 7 hours. And when he woke up, I fed him. Then he started sleeping even longer (8p - 4a) and again I fed him when he woke up. After he consistently did that for a while, if he woke up before 3 I'd wait 10-15 minutes to see if he fell back to sleep, and if not I'd get up and feed him.
I think only once or twice did we ever do a real CIO through a MOTN waking. Those couple of times we let him CIO because for one, it was early enough (12am-ish) that I knew he wasn't hungry and two, he'd shown that he could definitely go longer stretches at that point. And when I say CIO, I think it only lasted 20 minutes or so.
So anyways, sleep training doesn't mean you have to make them go hungry during the night. Whenever I knew or thought DS was hungry, I went ahead and fed him. And he now sleep 11-12 hours regularly every single night.
It is rough, and I hope you find a solution. In retrospect, I do wish we'd stopped the middle of the night feed(s) earlier, but I had to first wean her off of bottles before bed (I made the mistake of nursing to sleep until 11 months, then giving her a bottle to sleep after that - well, not really a mistake, since it worked when I most needed it to, but I wish I had stopped it earlier). I had to do a little bit of sleep training, which was really hard for me. I honestly don't think I could do it if I really thought she was hungry, but that is just me. I do think it's possible that feeding him less at night, if you were able to manage that, might help him to eat more frequently during the day and get you out of that vicious cycle. Again, I really don't know the answer, but I hope things get better for you. My LO is 20 months and has only been STTN reliably for the past month or so, so I feel your pain.
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