Hi ladies,
I know it was a tough holiday season for a lot of us. With all the craziness that went on, what did you end up doing?
Do you have new years plans?
How are you feeling? Updates?
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For my I was super happy not to deal with the extended in-laws for xmas. We had my MIL and her bf for xmas eve (turkey) and day (prime rib) so that was nice. I had a friend's newborn celebration xmas morning, which was hard because every person under the age of 40 was either KU or had a child with them. I came home pretty bummed out.
We don't yet have plans for new years - I don't think we'll do anything major. We're dog sitting so can't go anywhere.
AF is due sometime this weekend. No sign of her so far and lots of BFNs at 11DPO.
Here's hoping that we all have a magical new year.
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@babycanuck: I needed this today, thanks. I'm so sorry about the holiday party, something about this time of year makes this feel harder.
Had an RE appt last week and were told that my left tube has a "knuckle" in it (??? No elaboration given) and my right tube has a swaying growth from my uterus in front of it that could be preventing sperm meeting my eggs and implantation. I have to plan surgery to remove it.
Since then, Ive dealt with 3 pregnant coworkers, 5 pregnant cousins and 4 pregnancy announcements.
i was running late to an extended family Christmas party yesterday when my dad called to warn me my cousin just surprised everyone with ornaments celebrating she was expecting. I broke down in the car and opted to stay home instead. I feel a little foolish for that now, but I felt pretty raw yesterday.
Other than that, it was a nice holiday celebration with everyone.
We don't have any plans for New Years yet.
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@Crystal: I hope you can schedule the surgery soon! I don't think there's anything wrong with staying home because of the announcement. To be honest, that's one reason I was happy not to see my a few people over xmas and would have had no issue skipping most things to not see them.
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@babycanuck: thanks- it's so nice that you understand! I get the "when are you going to have kids" comments a lot, and I knew they'd be so much worse yesterday. This will also be the first great grandnaby on that side, which I would have had had I not miscarried around this time last year. It was definitely better for my mental health that I stay home.
Surgery likely won't happen for a bit. It's pretty pricey, so we'll have to wait and see. At least I can focus on getting in better shape for awhile.
How are you feeling about your chances this month?
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@Crystal: Not good. Being 11 DPO and my temp dropped today. I don't know if it's normal to have a temp drop before a BFP. I had my HSG on CD 11 and we DTD 0-2 and 0-1 just after that, I just have no hope anymore. I have wondfos and have POAS at least once a day, basically torturing myself. DH doesn't get my being upset, he says "we're trying" but it's not just that.
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@babycanuck: as much as DHs try to be supportive and say they are in this with us, I don't think I they truly understand what we are going through. My husband really is wonderful, but he doesn't get why I am so sad. (In fact, when I was bawling my eyes out yesterday, he told me he doesn't want to feel bitter about other people and have I tried just being happy for them?" Wrong move.)
It really isn't just that at all, I totally understand.
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Surprise announcement yesterday from a family member. I'm in the midst of an adoption, so you think it wouldn't have caught me so off-guard, but it did. Weird?!
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I just want the holidays to be over at this point. It's made me feel like a terrible, fake person. I'm really sick of smiling and pretending everything's great. I'm supposed to meet up with my best friend until about a year ago so I can meet her baby. I just don't want to go. Unfortunately, since she got pregnant she's not really been that great of a friend. She's unaware of our issues. It just makes me sad because this person is the first person I would have confided in about this.
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@Hoots: I'm so sorry
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@babycanuck: Thanks! I'll have my FX for you.
Sometimes I wish guys had to experience the hormone shifts and the biological clock for just one month to understand.
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Hi ladies, I hope you had an okay holiday. I'm exhausted and just waiting for AF to get here so we can move on to a FET, all going well. Come on 2015!
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@Hoots: I wish guys would have to experience it too. I'm so sorry about the family/best friend. Did you end up visiting your (ex?) friend?
@jaguar: fx for your fet!
@Mrs. Jacks: I also had the surprise announcement yesterday, those are the worst. Can you share a bit more about where you are at with the adoption process? DH and I are starting to look into that.
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@Crystal: To answer your question, I'm going to have to go back a way. See I used to just hang out on the IF threads to be a support and maybe chime in with some medical knowledge now and again. But I realized when you asked your question that I do belong here.
So I had our first baby at 38. No problems getting pregnant. Then I thought "oh I'm too old to get pregnant again" and we adopted my second daughter. We thought we were done. Then, early in 2014 I had an accidental pregnancy that ended in an eight week miscarriage. With the loss I thought "maybe we really aren't done". I've had three chemicals since then and it's likely that my eggs just aren't up to par anymore :(. We ultimately decided that we would make peace with where we were at and be done with our bio and adopted daughter. Then in November we got the call that our adopted daughter's mom wanted to place another baby with us. We said yes! This little boy is scheduled to be born in February. We've completed our paperwork and homestudy and are pretty much just in waiting mode.
But what I've come to realize is that there is still a process that I'm going through to mourn the loss of being unable to have a bio baby. I know I could have kept trying, but the toll that all that loss takes is just too much for us to keep going through. So, I'm coming to terms as best as I can and have realized the IF boards are really my home.
I'm happy to answer any specific questions you have on adoption. It's really a beautiful thing and I feel so lucky to have gone through it and to have our daughter and soon her brother! We couldn't have had a better experience!
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@Mrs. Jacks: thank you so much for sharing your journey! I'm so sorry to hear about the losses you've faced, that's heartbreaking. I read your last few blog posts this morning, it sounds like you are very close to meeting your new addition! I'm going to wall you a few more questions.
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@Crystal: I'm happy to help in any way I can!
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@Crystal: I did visit her and it went better than expected. Her LO is super cute, and it was much easier to chat with her in person than on the phone. She did ask about our kid plans (she knew roughly when I wanted to start TTC from past conversations). I just said it was a sensitive topic right now because we have our first appointment with an RE in January. I was really surprised because she actually started crying (which made me cry) and told me she was sorry that I was dealing with this. She did Natural Family Planning so she's familiar with charting and wanted to know more about what was going on. Right now, I feel really, really lucky that the three people who now know we've been struggling have all responded so well.
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CD 1 here...UGH! Even though I really knew not to hold on to hope for this past cycle, of course I did. But it was a natural cycle, no meds, no IUIs, so I knew better...Anyway, now it's time to call my RE and schedule the HSG. So that will be happening either this Friday or next (they only do it on Fridays). And then, we'll be discussing what needs to be done to start the IVF process. I'm waiting on a call from our new insurance company today to make sure that we get the pre-approval for my RE's services, but once that's in place, insurance pays for it all, outside of a few co-pays! I feel very blessed to have the IVF option available to us without having to pay the full cost.
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@Hoots: I'm so glad it went well! It's so nice to have support on this difficult journey.
@sarahnicole218: I totally understand about the hope thing, I do it every month. I'm so sorry AF arrived, but that's amazing of your insurance company-wow!
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@sarahnicole218: That's awesome that your insurance covers it.
Sometimes I wish guys had to experience the hormone shifts and the biological clock for just one month to understand.
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