Hi all!
DH and I have been planning for a year now that following the wedding we would start TTC the beginning of the next year.

Well, the next year is in less than a month....I have an appt with a new OB/GYN the middle of January to start discussing when to take out my Mirena and if I should try for one more.

Back story,
I've had 3 pregnancies, 2 live births. My miscarriage was when I was 18years old and I had no idea I was even pregnant til I lost the baby.
My other two pregnancies ended in two beautiful, healthy little girls. However, both pregnancies ended up being high risk.

My first, I was on a navy base and wasn't given the best care. I ended up with severe preclampsia because the nurses and doctors never recorded my high blood pressures. Every visit they would tell me my pressure was high and then have me lay on my side in the dark room and "rest". Then they would come back and take my pressure again and record the good one.
Well, that resulted in my being emergency induced at 37 weeks with a blood pressure of 186/123.
During my 13 hour labor my mother was repeatedly told that I was going to suffer a seizure or stroke at any time and that I may not make it.
Luckily, I did. But, my body went through so much trauma,.

Well, forward to my second pregnancy, which was an accident but of course a wonderful accident. My pregnancy went really smooth and I got excited that maybe I wouldn't go through the same troubles as the first....well 15minutes after I delivered her my blood pressure went through the roof.
I was in the labor and delivery room for 7hours post delivery because they couldn't stabilize me well enough to move me to my recovery room.
I was put on magnesium sulfate to prevent seizures. I was then stabilized and sent home with home health visits for 2 months following.
So, skip to now. My DH has no biological children and we both terribly want to have one together. I'm terrified the dr will tell me I shouldn't. Or that she will tell me I can and then something happen to me or the baby.
On top of that, I am a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis, so DH has to be tested prior to TTC to make sure he doesn't share the same gene. AND, He has Stargarts Disease which has left him legally blind...there is a 25% chance he could pass that on.
With all of this hanging over us I am so down about the possibility that we will even be able to TTC with dr approval.
I just needed to get that all out I guess because the time is coming to actually meet with the dr and I'm just scared.
Thanks for listening.

Sorry it's so long!!!