This thread has been closed by the original poster.
pomegranate / 3764 posts
@Amorini: I wish I could have worded it better, I am pro-pro-pro adoption & don't want to make it sound like I'm not... but gosh, that comment really hurt.
apricot / 386 posts
Well, our second IVF failed. We are using donor eggs and with 2 different donors we still had fair and poor quality embryos. Our Dr is calling us Monday with options and I am not sure what we are going to be able to do financially as we have already spent $25,000 out of pocket for these cycles. Has anyone had more than 2 failed attempts and gotten one that works after that?? Is there anything we can do to boost our chances?
pomegranate / 3764 posts
@fotolori1: *hugs* I am sorry. I know we were successful previously with my daughter (after 2 cycles) - but we are sitting at 3 cycles + 8 transfers and still no take home baby yet, so I do sympathise. Could it just be a donor thing, or the way that they were stimmed? Perhaps a different protocol? I wish I had more answers for you, but I am sending you lots of hugs. x
persimmon / 1132 posts
@jaguar: I think it was clear that you are very pro-adoption but that you are saying it's not as simplistic as most people think. And it's not an easy path either -- nor should it be. And for some, it's even harder than ART. When I came to terms about my own feelings about adoption (super pro, but it wasn't in my heart for me), I felt guilty at first. Most people never have to face that and be so honest with themselves. Anyway, later I came to peace about the fact that some people are called to do IVF, some people are called to adopt, and so on. We all have to follow the beat of our own drum. So, anyway, I think you did great covering a very nuanced topic!
pomegranate / 3764 posts
@Amorini: It really isn't! It's such a sensitive subject, I just can't believe that comment came on a post I'd JUST made saying I was probably going to have another miscarriage... was that really an appropriate time to tell me that?
persimmon / 1132 posts
@fotolori1: I'm so sorry. Sending giant hugs. I don't have any experience with DE but several bees do and I bet they could weigh in with some thoughts. The financial part is a total nightmare on top of the heartache. Thinking of you and sending prayers..
persimmon / 1132 posts
@jaguar: Seriously, I know. Like why now? Makes me think it was just some idiot snarky troll who gets kicks throwing people off their game. Legit or not, you did the right thing by responding in force. You probably won't hear from that troll again!
pear / 1881 posts
@jaguar: oh my gosh - i cannot believe someone would say that to you, but I have to commend your blog post! bravo! well said and definitely something that needed to be said..how you holding up? Only a few more days until beta?
apricot / 365 posts
@fotolori1: I'm so sorry. We're at 2 failed transfers with everything supposedly being exactly how it's supposed to be with lining, embryo, etc, and not sure of our next move.
apricot / 365 posts
@Amorini: Happy birthday!
@jaguar: fingers crossed for you! when is your beta?
pomegranate / 3764 posts
@NorthStar: Beta Tuesday 9th... it's Sunday morning here, so few more days.
I haven't pee'd again.
cherry / 107 posts
Well apparently today is a shit news day all around. My 9 day stims bw came back. E2 went from 56 to 67. Still rising, but not well. Pretty sure I'm gonna get canceled on Monday. E2 of 67 after 9 days of stims is crap for stimulation and I only doubled once. It's always a great sign when the doctor calls you instead of a nurse to report your results, right?. She wants to give it until Monday, have bw and my first ultrasound Monday to 'see what's going on in there'. If they see a bunch of little follicles that are just growing slow, they'll continue. If they don't or if they see just a lead one, then we'll need to 'discuss our next steps'. Considering I don't have a 'bunch' of follicles to work with in the first place, and since I naturally ovulate day 12 of my cycle, I'm pretty sure it'll be cancelled if my E2 is this low after 9 days of stims. I asked if due to the false E2 and taking Ganirelix when I was already super suppressed could be causing this she replied 'it's a distinct possibility'. Awesome. It's looking like I just wasted 4 of my 5 lifetime prescriptions for nothing. IVF is fun Excuse my language but f***ing body and your f***ing false antibodies and f***ing DOR. Oh, and while I'm at it F you endo and azoo too.
@fotolori1: That freaking sucks. I'm so so sorry.
@Tennis79: I'm severe endo, DOR (AMH 0.3 and AFC 5) and extreme MFI (non-obstructive azoospermia with Sertoli cell only syndrome) but it's probably not a good day to ask me for hope lol. I'm here for support though. Sorry you're in a similar cruddy situation to me
@waiting4you: Sorry you're feeling sooo terrible *hug*. Every time you feel awful just repeat to yourself that you're actually pregnant! How cool to see it and get such encouraging words.
pomegranate / 3764 posts
@Aqualov: I am getting so cranky for you. If *IF* the cycle is cancelled, you shouldn't lose out on your med help, that's so not fair.
persimmon / 1132 posts
@Aqualov: Ugh, this sucks. I'm so sorry. You're totally right. F it all! Hoping they find a way to give you some kind of chance this cycle.
pea / 8 posts
@fotolori1: I am so sorry. I don't know much about donor eggs, but I hope that your Dr has some good suggestions for you on Monday.
@Aqualov: That is so hard. My E2 throughout my cycle was low, I think I went from around 50 to just about 600 at egg retrieval. I only had three follicles that they were really monitoring, since I have DOR they weren't expecting too many. I hope that your scans on Monday have good news for you and you are able to continue this cycle.
apricot / 386 posts
@jaguar: thank you so much for your response. This can be such a discouraging process. It is the worst roller coaster I've ever ridden! I wish you the best of luck! What is your next step? Are you in the tww of your last IVF cycle?
pomegranate / 3764 posts
@fotolori1: 16dpo today... beta is tomorrow and I'm absolutely petrified.
So anxious.
persimmon / 1114 posts
@jaguar: that is such a beautiful progression. I know betas are so hard; wishing you so much luck and strength!
cherry / 107 posts
@jaguar: Looking amazing!!! So excited for your Beta tomorrow. You be anxious, I'll hold onto your excitement for you until you get your amazing positive results!!
honeydew / 7968 posts
@jaguar: lines look amazing! Hoping u get fantastic news tomorrow! Hope this is it for u!
nectarine / 2192 posts
@jaguar: beautiful!
My trip went well, but I'm feeling really hopeless. We have our wtf appointment Friday, with tentative plans for IVF 2.0 starting stims 2/27. I'm on micronor but have a lot of questions on protocol and am worried my RE will want to do the same lead in (micronor and estrace- I think I was over suppressed), antagonist protocol plus growth hormone. He said HGH is an all or nothing thing, so if he doesn't change anything else, we could be right where we started. I posted on Dr. Sher's website and his answer:
In most cases such as yours where (given your very low AMH) you clearly have DOR, it becomes a matter of carefully reevaluating and possibly revising the protocol for ovarian stimulation. In my opinion. you need a modified, robust, long pituitary down-regulation protocol. I would use an agonist/antagonist conversion protocol with human growth hormone (HGH) augmentation and would recommend Staggered IVF with embryo banking of PGS (next generation gene sequencing)-normal blastocysts, to make hay while the sun still shines.
As for the NKa+ it is important to make certain that this is autoimmune in origin and not alloimmune (DQ alpha/HLA genetic matching) which needs a different approach to management (see below).
So now I'm even more worried:
1. I only had two embryos that were good, and genetic testing would have been far more expensive than a failed transfer. Is my situation so bad that I need to bank embryos now?
2. My RE said through the nurse that we weren't going to do the agonist/antagonist protocol, and I will ask why not at the appointment. How much of a change in protocol should I expect?
3. Are we treating the NK cells appropriately? We haven't tested for a match between DH and me because we have a few things in my history that make autoimmune much more likely, and it's 90% of the cases. My RE seems better than most on this but he's not one of the leading experts on this. Our plan was to do a treatment of the intralipids even earlier and again 7-10 days before transfer. I'm going to ask about adding an anticoagulant and starting prednisone earlier (before retrieval).
I'm cutting out gluten and trying to minimize sugar. DH thinks this might not be enough time to work (transfer would be 3/12-3/16). I'm so worried about this that I can't imagine delaying it another month. I'm scared the issues are insurmountable.
pomegranate / 3764 posts
@AmeliaBedilia: I have friends who began steroids during their cycle and after transfer (some combined with intralipids & some on their own) and they seem to have made a positive difference. I've never been tested for NK cells because my clinic turns their nose up at them, but it's what I requested after multiple losses and was denied. If I lose this one too, I'll be demanding them.
As for protocol, there are always small variations they can tweak. I know for me, I've had lower numbers (but better quality eggs/embryos) from my long down-regs, and huge numbers (and very average/poor eggs) from antagonist short cycles. Hard to know without trying them out. Let's hope you get some answers at your appointment.
pomegranate / 3764 posts
@Aqualov: I am too scared, like I'll be knocked back down to reality with an awful number today. It's happened before.
pear / 1986 posts
@jaguar: Everything is looking so great! I've been out of the loop for the last few days, but I'm so excited to come back and see these great tests for you! FX that you get just a wonderful number today!!
@AmeliaBedilia: I don't have any actual advice, other than I do hear a lot of people trying gluten/sugar free. It sounds like a good thing that you are addressing a lot of your questions to your RE before the WTF, so hopefully you will make a lot of headway during that appointment. Would your RE consider doing a freeze all cycle even if you don't do PGS? I feel like more and more the FET cycles are successful particularly because your body is more normalized than right after a stimulation. Weren't 3 out of the 4 successful recent cycles on this board (Yes, @jaguar: I'm counting yours as a !) FETs? Just something else to think about even if you don't do PGS (which I know is crazy expensive on top of everything else!).
@Aqualov: I've been off the boards for a little bit, but I just want to say how sorry I am that this cycle has been such a roller coaster for you! Hugs!!!
pomegranate / 3764 posts
@GreenThumb: I can't count me in yet. Just can't.
Beta done... but I got a pregnancy test picture from my BFF who's just found out she's pregnant, so now I'm petrified that's a bad omen, we'll have bad luck and she'll go on to have a baby while we're left behind again. It's happened so many times (even with my SIL) that it breaks my heart.
pomegranate / 3764 posts
@AmeliaBedilia: I just got a 2-3 weeks on a digital! God I hope this works.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
@jaguar: Stalking and hoping for you! Fingers crossed!!
pear / 1986 posts
@jaguar: Yay! That is definitely a great sign! I don't think you have anything to worry about. How soon will they call?
pomegranate / 3764 posts
@bluestriped bee: I have EVERYTHING crossed here!
@GreenThumb: Had beta at 8am, it's now 10.30am - probably not until this afternoon here though! I made sure she marked it urgent.
persimmon / 1132 posts
@jaguar: OMG! I have been waiting for your beta update all day! Yay for another digi positive! Come on, Olaf!!
cherry / 107 posts
@jaguar: I totally get that. I've been there sooo many times. Hope hurts! Which is why I offered to hang onto it for you until you're ready for it. Come on Olaf!!
@AmeliaBedilia: I don't have any advice, but I'm thinking of you. Sorry you're hurting. I get the insurmountable issues thing. But we keep trying, right? Sometimes I wonder why we (DH and I) even bother with all of ours, might as well flush a few dozen K down the toilet and save the stress. Personally I know that I have to try in order to be able to accept the result, regardless of what it may be.
AFM: I just now got my results, apparently the hospital just passed the E2 results on to the RE, now, at a quarter after 7! I was worried this morning- they saw 2 follicies, one on each ovary, 13 and 10.5, but no others. I've had an inkling of good news since about noon, when I saw on the RE's portal that the office scheduled me for a blood/us on Wednesday without notifying me. I finally got confirmation just now that I'm not cancelling at this point!! My E2 went from 67 to 150/160!! (I forget the exact number, I was only told it on the phone and I had a bunch of other questions lol).
As per my questions, they're hoping I get a few more follicles, since I've been rising so slowly they think there's a chance. Two is the minimum they do ER for, though normally they try to suggest IUI at that point due to the expense. This is unfortunately impossible for us because DH's azoo- immature sperm don't swim! Since he will have to have the mTESE to try for sperm, which is very, very invasive, she also suggested the possibility of freezing my eggs and adding another cycle so that we have more to work worth since immature sperm freezes terribly, and we may literally only get a few, if we get any. But overall- not cancelled!!! YES!
pea / 8 posts
@jaguar: so excited for your betas! Keeping my fingers crossed for you
@aqualov: yay for follicles and increasing estrogen!! Hope for more good news as your cycle progresses.
pomegranate / 3764 posts
Cross posting - sorry if you see it more than once!
Okay - so results are in!
The sneaky 12dpo blood test I had done last week, I only found out about just now - it was 28, progesterone 15. Today... it is 286, progesterone 30!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my gosh!
clementine / 777 posts
This makes my heart swell! Thrilled for you. I creep this board because although I'm 9 weeks, I'm so scared and I still have IF PTSD. I am so cheering for you ladies.
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