Oh, boy. It's 12:30am and I can't sleep and OMG THE FEELS. So, long story short, DH is quitting his job to be a stay at home dad with our 13 month old son. Due to our situation with my job paying double what he makes and his disability, when I was able to get more hours at work and qualify for fulltime (benefits, yayyyy), it made sense for him to just stay home vs. putting LO in daycare.

He's very excited and has been at home with LO while I work here and there a lot lately. He's a great dad and I feel better that LO stay with him than with strangers, but I am so.freaking.jealous. I'm freaking out already because with my job, I may be directly working 8 or 9 hours, but with commute, Monday, Tues, Wed I'll be gone from 8:30am-8:00(or 8:30)pm. I've never been gone that long for work. And sure, Thursdays and Friday I'll be home more and then I'll have weekends off, but I feel like I'm abandoning him or something. And he's already starting to drop nursing sessions and UGH. Being a stay at home mom was always the picture in my head and I feel like my dream have been crushed.

I feel like I'm reacting worse to this than I should. It's not my husband's fault that he can't work/I can't stay at home and it's makes the best sense for our financial life. It's the best thing to do. But I just can't get over this feeling like I'm being this awful mother who is going to miss the little moments, whose baby is going to forget her - which is completely unrealistic, but these thoughts pop into my head and I just want to cry.

Can anyone relate or give me words to get over this?