I read that one of the keys to lasting happiness in a relationship is to let your SO win arguments, especially if it's an argument you could live with losing.
I am pretty easygoing across a wide range of things, so I'm willing to lose a lot of arguments. But not all of them! I think that's ok though... but haha, I"m biased.
How often do you let your SO win when you get into an argument/debate?
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22276 posts
Almost never 
because I'm usually right. Kidding...but really.
papaya / 10570 posts
I nearly always let him win, unless its something I really care about. I'm always the first to apologise, too.
bananas / 9227 posts
Hmm ... we're both pretty stubborn, but at the same time, we're also easy-going. He's more laid back than I am, but at the same time, more stubborn (although he insists I'm the more stubborn one). So I don't exactly know what you mean by "winning". Lol. I'm not exactly sure if that's ever really happened 
clementine / 756 posts
I try to let him win stuff that I don't care about. And I think he does the same. I really try to evaluate if something really matters and is worth even bringing up. Makes life easier.
coconut / 8861 posts
If it's about something really stupid, I'll be the first to forgive and let it go. It keeps our communication going as well as puts aside a small issue. It's all about picking your battles. It's been a hard lesson to learn over time, but has worked for us. If it's about something bigger like not doing what I asked a few times over, it gets addressed and I don't back down from it.
pomelo / 5129 posts
I don't "let" anyone win an argument.
But if it's one I don't really care about, I just let go.
Or if he actually IS right, I make a big deal out of saying that he's right.
In general though, we rarely argue or disagree with each other, so normally it's something not at all personal that we're arguing about.
bananas / 9227 posts
@mrbee: I still don't exactly know what you mean by winning. Examples? 
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts
@SugarplumsMom: Just that if you're debating or arguing about something, you don't fight to the death... you concede the point. Or alternatively, you think of it less like a fight and try to understand the other person's perspective - and allow yourself to be persuaded (or realize you don't care all that much).
GOLD / nectarine / 2884 posts
@mrbee: not to resurrect an old thread but letting your spouse win is classic "wife work"/emotional labor. That said as I get older I do let things go more easily but I also have harder boundaries. Having hard boundaries allows me to let go for the small things.
GOLD / nectarine / 2884 posts
@SugarplumsMom: maybe for example letting DH do some minor childcare thing his way vs. Yours? Or like, no longer bringing up a sore spot re: the in laws that you can't seem to resolve?
bananas / 9227 posts
@mrbee: You just made me realize that I may be the more stubborn one because DH doesn't usually engage in those kinds of arguments ... but I do (especially obvious when we first met), which frustrated the hell out of me because he's pretty damn stoic in that sense.
@Mrs. Sketchbook: Bringing up a sore spot, yeh, ok. I'm guilty!
cherry / 229 posts
I don't think we really have discussions or arguments where I see it as one person winning. I definitely let stuff go - i.e. I ask him once to do something and when he doesn't, if it's not that big of a deal, I'll do it - or I just don't bring stuff up in the first place, because it's not a big deal. And he does the same. Fortunately, so far on the big things we've been in agreement.
pomelo / 5791 posts
DH has literally never been right in an argument.....literally. Never. 
pear / 1852 posts
I let him win a lot, but I don't think he realizes it because when it's something I'm sure/passionate about he gets upset that I always have to have my way, lol. He gets his way more than I do!
bananas / 9227 posts
I just have to add: if it's more about letting stuff go, then I feel like we both do that. But DH lets go of the small stuff really easily, a lot more than I do. But as for arguments, I don't think we've ever let anyone win - it's more agreeing to disagree.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
I'm pretty stubborn and I research the hell out of my reasons, so I usually have better ideas. I'm a scientist so my reasons are logical.
DH is stubborn, too, but he doesn't look into his reasons as much as me. It's usually, this is how I want it with no logical reason behind it. (He is still adamant about pointing our son's penis down when putting on a diaper... I still don't understand it...)
As for little things, like what color rug should we get? I usually let him decide since he has an eye for those things. Putting pictures up on the wall? That's his thing.
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