Hellobee Boards

I can see how you feel slighted, but I'd chalk it up to exactly what you titled your post. A miscommunication. On everyone's parts but I don't think you can assign more blame to her. I'd keep it cordial and wish her well and move on. (Plus you never know if she will circle back later if the job thing doesn't work out. Don't want to burn a bridge if you were generally happy with her aside from this miscommunication).

@mrskansas: and I can totally understand how you feel. Not only being blindsided but also the now urgency to find care which probably only increases how upset you feel.
We had a part time nanny that more or less gave us two weeks notice. We were scrambling.

I would feel blindsided as well. I'm sure she thought her plans sounded more definitive than it actually came across, but since she never mentioned anything again after the initial discussion in early May I think it was normal for you to assume that her plans may have changed. How weird that she didn't say anything to you yesterday like, "Hey, just a reminder tomorrow will be my last day." Sorry you're in this situation!

You have the right to feel however you want, but that doesn't change the situation and I don't think your babysitter owes you anything in this case.

@mrskansas: That's an interesting point that I think I missed the first time through - I might change my answer depending on her wording. I initially thought that she'd told you that she would be done at the end of May (and therefore the fact that she never mentioned it again wasn't a big deal, because she'd told you) but if she just said she was going back to work and hoping to start around the end of May I do think it was a lot more up in the air and she should have followed up with a firm end date.

@mrskansas: I agree it does seem odd to not bring it up again and def not the best way to handle it. I feel like I've had stuff like this happen a few times where I've realized I just have to be a bit more blunt and direct so I'm clear on he situation, even if socially it seems like they're the ones who should be bringing it up so you don't feel like you're prying.

Whenever I've left jobs, it's always been my responsibility to state a specific end date...I don't really feel like childcare should be any different. That sounds really vague. If someone said they were interviewing for jobs to start at the end of May but never followed up with an official end date or said they found a job, I would have figured they just wanted to keep working until they found a position. If she planned to stop working at the end of May no matter what, she should have just said, "I won't be able to babysit after May. May 31 will be my last day," not some halfhearted, "Oh, I'm interviewing for jobs that would start after May."

I sorta agree with @gingerbebe: I wonder if she had the end of May as her deadline. Maybe she was a bit eager in being able to watch only her kid at that time until she got a job. Maybe instead of changing the date and making you be in limbo, she put that date in stone.

I do think she and you could have communicated better. Ugh, job hunting is tough, though. Also, maybe there were other personal issues at hand. I would chalk it up to both of you had different kinds of stress and communication fell by the wayside. It happens.

If you really did appreciate her watching your LOs, I would break this tension by giving her a goodbye and good luck gift. If you don't, don't. It's probably gonna be awkward if you see her in the future, though.