My daughter has co-slept from birth. This wasn’t something we planned. It just worked out that way because she didn’t go to sleep well on her own. She’s almost 3 now and we have another baby on the way and are trying to ease her into her new big girl room. I mentioned that today to my MIL and she said “sleeping with your child is a disservice to you both”.. and “people say it helps parent/child bonding, but that’s just not true.” She has also made comments in the last about my breastfeeding views. I nursed DD until about 30 months. I never planned to nurse her that long, but I knew it was beneficial to her and figured there was no real reason to stop. My MIL made little comments about it from her birth. She was a mom in the 70s and had some kind of shot to prevent breast milk, so she’s obviously against it. Her comments are always like in passing, so it’s difficult to stand up for myself in the moment. She makes it seem harmless. Anyway, I’m venting and rambling too much. But, yeah... I’m frustrated.
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@CatchAFallingStar: I’m sorry. I can commiserate because I know what it’s like to have those little comments made in passing, always when my husband is out of the room or preoccupied. Things like she was going to buy DS some “nicer” clothes to wear to school. “SIL’s kids are popular because they have nice clothes”. My son is 3 and goes to a preschool where they ask us to dress them in clothes that are easy to wash because they paint, play outside etc. in that same visit she told me DS should have different glasses too. I never know what to say in the moment but it makes me mad too. I’m sorry you have to deal with this as well.
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Sorry. I get some passive aggressive comments too. My MIL is also quite helpful when she's around so I don't really say anything but at some point Dh does. I had to say something to get him to pay attention though.
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My son started a public prek program in September. The program has a great reputation and is literally a block from our apartment building. Awesome. It happens to be in a very old, imposing, urban public school building.
So, I spent a lot of time talking up the school to my son to ease the transition. My MIL was visiting in August so we walked by to show her the school and she told us the building looked like a jail. Luckily my son did not seem to notice but I wanted to punch her.
I refuse to leave her alone with my son and she is pretty offended by that. But it's not his job to entertain her and provide her with a "grandparent experience", and I don't trust her not to say stupid shit around him.
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@ElbieKay: this sounds like my MIl. On the face she’s southern sweet as pie but makes passing comments that are SO judgemental. They’ve travelled and lived around the world so you would think they’d have a broad world view but nope, very narrow, conservative (but think they are progressive), and judgey. .
We send our child to a Jewish preschool for a 2s program. We aren’t Jewish but the program is super welcoming and just a great, highly sought after program. When we walk around town my MIL offhandededpy says “oh look at that school that would be such a nicer option for X”
Our public pre-K for 3s and 4s is great and free. We live near the school. MIl: “oh that building has seen better days is there another one she could attend?” -
@Littlebit7: When I told my MIL that we were moving my son from private preschool for 2s to the (free!) public prek for 3s, she commented that it probably wouldn't be as good as the private facility. (Actually I like it better for a number of reasons!)
She didn't offer to pay for private school though, haha!
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@CatchAFallingStar: Ugh, I hate the "innocent" judgemental inlaw comments! My ILs can be pretty bad for that, too... the latest was how my MIL thinks we don't feed our daughter enough and she's too skinny. She's been consistent on her growth curve since birth, but my MIL thinks all children need to have rolls of fat at their wrists and ankles until they're 5, so clearly we must be starving our child. This coming from the same woman who blamed me for my daughter spitting up so much as an infant because she said I fed her too much, then... lol.
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