Hellobee Boards

So many hugs. I have been through many crazy life situations (a divorce from the 1st husband, readjustment periods, marriage to the love of my life, many-many moves ALLLL over the country due to military spouses over 21 years, family drama, educational drama due to moves, 1 break in, and 2 kids with 3 years trying to have baby #3). While each was going on (simultaneously), I thought my brain (or heart) was going to explode and the world would end ... but it didn't. Everything actually turned out copacetic (with exception to the fact that we are STILL trying to conceive our 3rd blessing). My point - while it may not look like it (or feel like it) now, everything WILL workout and you will be fine. Please, trust me. Life is good.

It will work out even if it seems hard and impossible now. I like to think of things in phases: right now is the hard phase, but in the end you’ll be so glad you moved and had that third child. Buying and selling a house is literally the most stressful thing ever so I get it...and I didn’t have the other stuff on top of it! Sometimes the process is super difficult but in the end, it’s worth it

I’m sorry it’s so overwhelming. Honestly the year of my third pregnancy was really overwhelming to me and I wasn’t doing half what you are! I agree it will work out with time ... survive for now and you can get the finances back on track when it makes sense. We had financial concerns about #3 also (I think most do!) but you can ease into it usually - not childcare perhaps, but you can likely make your car work for a while, in our case we are making our house work even though it’s small and we feel it, you can set up the 529 anytime and catch up. We are viewing it as a season - it is hard but the amount we all (including big sibs) love that baby ... that matters more to us than having the future all figured out. You’ll get there. Big hugs while you wade through it - one day at a time, one foot in front of the other!

I’d focus on the positives while you get your financial plans back in order.

-you’re now close to family and so are your kids and that is incredibly valuable.
-you were lucky enough to get pregnant with a third even though it was quick. That’s probably going to feel daunting for a while (perhaps even until that kid has been out in the world for a little while) because adding another child is a big change, but it’s a positive.
-you were financially stable and in a great place. You feel worried because you are on a bit of shaky ground now, but don’t discount the fact that you do know how to budget and take care of yourselves financially and you were feeling comfortably before. A lot of people don’t have that and never have.

The light at the end of the tunnel is, you will get back to where you want to be, it just might take a little while. And lastly, those hormones are surging, so cut yourself a mental break.

One year isn’t going to be representative of your entire life. We also had a bad money year last year, but we acknowledged it and are taking steps to do better this year.

I don’t know what you can do to sell the house, is renting it out an option?

Sometimes I just repeat my little mantra to myself: Everything is temporary, it will pass, things will get better, it will all work out.

Honestly it sounds like you're doing everything right, you just got walloped with some bad luck. Nothing you could have done to prevent it, just power through. Your kids won't remember and you'll be able to look back during other hard times and think 'Well I managed then and I can manage now'.