Hellobee Boards

My friend sent her daughter to an in home care provider who was pretty religious. She figured it was just another perspective. Granted, this was an in home so maybe it was less structured than a program actually affiliated with a church. But her daughter would sometimes say things like "We asked Jesus to make it stop raining today." She just kind of treated it like imaginary friends.

Anyway, my point is- I think you could probably find a place affiliated with a church that doesn't do a ton of religious teaching. I'm sure they will celebrate holidays, and tell the religious stories behind the holidays, but I doubt it would be all Jesus all the time.
That said- if I could find another option I would. But if it was my only affordable & safe option, I would make it work.

I would talk to all the schools and find out what kind of religious teaching they do, if any. I bet when you visit you can get a pretty good feel too. My non-religious parents sent me to a catholic daycare + kindergarten and there was pretty much nothing religious about it except some daycare workers were nuns.

Oh and I could be wrong, but I think you'll want to skip the "evangelical" one since the whole definition of that is to convert everyone to their beliefs.

@loveisstrange: could you do a "trial run" and go with her to see what type of education they are getting regarding religion? Do you want her to know about the different religions? Maybe this would be a good way for her to get that education, without being pushed into one specific religion?

My neighbor is agnostic and sends her daughter to a Methodist preschool near our house. She likes it for the reasons I mentioned above and said she would never have sent her there or kept her there if she felt this specific religion was being pushed on her daughter/her family. IE: They don't expect you to go to their church or practice, even if your child goes to their preschool.

I think you should pick the center that feels right to you and that you think is best for your kiddo.

That being said, I would not opt for a religious based program (when possible) because I don't want to create any conflict between my LO's teachers (who she will see as authority figures) and DH and myself as her parents. It can create a situation where authority (decision making ability, trust, and reliability) is called into question because the child can't (at this point) differentiate and reconcile between what Ms. So-and-So says about, say, prayer before meals or religious reasoning for holidays, versus what she will experience at home. (That's an oversimplification, but I am sure you get the idea.)

However, if the church program was the best overall program for my kiddo, I would do it in a heartbeat, and just try to work around the rest.

A friend is agnostic and sends her daughter to a Catholic preschool. Every now and then an art project comes home that is a bit out of her comfort zone. Weekly they do a religious work sheet but it is pretty basic. After talking with her child it is pretty clear she sees no difference between the religious characters and characters in story books. So basically I feel like if you aren't planning on sending her indefinitely you can reinforce the idea of a story at home or however your family wants to present it.

@loveisstrange: hahhaha. Excellent attitude. Lord knows there are people out there who would do that! Honestly I think it would probably just give you guys some good opportunities for open discussions for her to figure out what she does and doesn't believe if she comes home with questions.

We have LO in a Presbyterian day care even though DH is an atheist and I'm a lapsed Catholic/agnostic. Even though we are not huge fans of organized religion, I figure when she's a baby, it really doesn't matter. It was the best choice for us for other reasons, such as location, cost, and just the general 'vibe' of the place. Originally we were not even going to look at church daycares, but I'm really glad we did. We love where she's at, and we just nod and smile through the religion part of it.

We also plan to pull her out when she's 2 or 3, before the real in-depth teachings begin, and put her in a secular preschool.

@locavore_mama: @loveisstrange: it's funny I was raised the same way, and I'm agnostic one sibling is atheist and the other is Christian

I would personally never consider a religious daycare unless there were zero other options. I plan on telling him about different religions an encouraging him to explore and ask questions. I have never been to or experienced a religious school setting that would promote that. Also, I would get irrationally irritated by religiously connected activities, like if he came home with a Bible coloring book haha. Something just really bugs me about itty bitty kids parroting back anything, no matter what it is, but I heard it a lot in conjunction with church nurseries/private schools when I nannied.

@scg00387: Agree! The only reason I would feel comfortable sending her to this one is because I know a lot of co-workers who sent their kids there. And they are cynics like me. So if it had a huge religious curriculum or much of one I know they would not be happy.

And it is seriously a top notch center.

I think if you're strongly anti-religion, avoid it. From the other side of things, I am Catholic and I'm planning on sending my LO to Catholic school. I have no intention of forcing religion on her and I want her to learn about all faiths (which, incidentally, I did at my Catholic school), but at the end of the day I feel like it is a religion community and extension of the church. If you really disagree with said religion, it's not fair to you or the other parents who are there for a faith-based curriculum.

That said, if it's the best option then you have to do what you have to do. Just my two cents.

If it's for a year with a young child I would def do it even though I am adamantly non-religious - the concept of religion is not clear to children until they can think a little more abstractly. I would go Methodist or Catholic because they would be the least inclined to have tons of religious programming, and I would avoid Christian or Evangelical. I wouldn't as a non-religious person, send my kids to religious school past Kindegarten or things could start to get weird. I went to religious school my whole life as a non-religious person, and it sucked! But with very young children I would do it.

@jedeve: It's not about *conversion* . . . it's much more subtle than that. It's about how a person establishes frameworks within which to analyze and assimilate new concepts and knowledge. A person's view of the world (their reality) influences how those concepts are interpreted and organized to fit within the larger framework of that person's reality.

@rahlyrah: Completely agree with everything you wrote.

I would be personally uncomfortable with LO attending a religious daycare at age 2 or beyond. By 2, children are old enough to begin talking about and understanding on a basic level why we do "nice" things (and why we don’t do “bad” things like hit other, etc.) and I do not want organized religion/Jesus/God/threat of hell/threat of disappointing God/etc. to be any part of that conversation.

I'd just be open about your situation and ask them what they teach. We send our daughter to a church pre-school (we are religious though) and they do pretty minimal Christian education. They celebrate religious holidays with decorations and have a song they sing at the end of the day similar to Jesus Loves Me and that's about it. It's not like Sunday school where they go over the Bible every class but I'm sure there are more intensely Christian focused preschools out there.

@mrsjazz: When I went to Catholic schools, the younger kids did not attend mass - that started at first grade. As for religion in the curriculum at that age, I can't speak to that since I went to public school for preschool/kindergarten.

@mrsjazz: I personally wouldn't do it, because I'm pretty strongly anti-teaching young children too much about religion. But I come from a family of overly controlling basically brainwashing level of child indoctrinators, so I think I'm overly anxious about it. I nannied for a kid that went to a Jewish preschool and they didn't do a ton other than around holidays. I can't say for sure with a Catholic one, and I would assume it varies as well, but I wouldn't expect TOO much on the preschool level.

I remember in grad school a friend who the only daycare they could get their LO into was a Jewish one, and they definitely weren't Jewish. Ended up liking it so much than their LO2 went as well! Not sure what age they kept that up too though.