With the exception of my closest girlfriends and all of you, we haven't told anyone that we're TTC. Am I crazy for wanting to keep it private even though I know our family would be a great source of support?
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Not at all! I think the TTC journey is relatively a private one and it's up to each couple who they want at such an early point in the journey. Maybe as you progress you will open up to your families about it.
We decided to generally tell our parents that we'll be trying soon because they've been really great about not pressuring us and are on the "if it happens, yay" attitude as we are right now.
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@mrsjyw: I'm not worried about them pressuring us, its more about them getting their hopes up. Its hard enough for us to keep our emotions in check without involving everyone else, if that makes sense?
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Makes total sense! We left it as vague as possible that we'll be trying, but both sets of parents have left it up to us on the details we want to share as we go along... we probably won't share with them until after 12 weeks or so.
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When we got married people would ask and I'd just be evasive, with some close friends I gave them some idea of a timeline. We got pregnant first try so there wasn't much support needed for sexy time. I think maybe if it had taken longer I'd have reached out to some people for emotional support. I didn't want constant questions from people though, it seems like it would be stressful
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I don't think you're crazy at all. We didn't tell anyone because we didn't want to feel pressure. And not necessarily pressure from friends and family; pressure that we'd put on ourselves if it didn't go like we'd planned. Plus it was total fun surprising our parents. I loved hearing my mom's reaction when I called and told her I was pregnant. That one ended in miscarriage so now I'm a little sad that everyone knows we're trying.
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We didn't tell anyone in case we had issues and needed to explore options. I wanted to do that without having family breathing down my neck.
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I'll tell my best friend and blog world, but no one else. I want it to be a surprise, and I don't want to be hounded if it takes awhile. Besides, I'd rather not have my employer find out until I'm actually pregnant. Speaking of which... I wonder when I should tell them? Right away or after first trimester?
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I think it's too much pressure to tell people. Then they always want to know if you're pregnant, why you're not pregnant yet, etc.
We didn't tell anyone the first time. I got pregnant, told my family, and then I miscarried. So they knew I was going to TTC again, I didn't have to tell them. And I hated that. But they were nice enough never to mention it or ask about it.
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not at all. already you might have the self-pressure and you definitely don't want your family to keep asking... "and?" it's frustrating for everyone and it doesn't help.
Good luck though.
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You are not crazy in the least bit. I have told one close friend and then on here. That is it. I am really happy that we have kept it pretty hush. I find it has been a very hard journey and I would prefer to keep it personal.
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I was really hesitant to tell anyone at first, but ten months later, I need some support from someone other than DH. I won't tell my mom, because I know I'd get a million calls asking if there was any news, but I have told a few close friends. However, none of my friends have been through this, so its SO nice to have all of you to share this with!
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I don't think you're crazy at all. We didn't tell anyone that we were TTC which is difficult since thats the first question people ask after you get married. We would just make jokes about it. Main thing was that we didn't want any pressure or anyone asking us "oh hey are you pregnant yet?" When we told our parents we were expecting they were really shocked, they thought from our attitudes that it would be several more years till we tried.
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NO, you are not crazy. My mom's already started calling more frequently, and I'm not even a week into TTC. (Mind you, I like talking to my mom, and she's not asking questions. She's just inserting some pointed pauses.)
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I told a couple friends but that was really it. I wasn't worried about the pressure. I just didn't want to have to keep telling people, "No I'm not pregnant yet"
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We are not telling anyone yet. We have decided to try before the wedding, so we figure that would be too much excitement for our parents to handle. I'll probably mention it offhandedly, in the sense of "we'd like a honeymoon baby"...
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We haven't told anyone and definitely won't tell anyone we're TTC. I don't think it's anyone's business and I'm not too keen on the idea of advertising our sex life and our reproductive plans. I do sometimes wish I felt more comfortable telling people because the support would be nice at times (like the TWW) but more often than not I'm glad we aren't telling. This time is something so special and sacred to us and something that is just between us. People will know soon enough (hopefully) our plans for adding to our family once I'm actually pregnant and past the first trimester. This is a special time for us to bond of expanding our family.
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The only person who knows irl if my best friend because she is ttc as well and it is nice to have someone to talk to about charting, etc. We'd thought we would feel weird telling our families.
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We didn't tell family either. Just a few friends knew. We knew we would have difficulties and didn't want to have to deal with questions and such every month.
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Nope. I only told two friends.
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Nope. The only reason people know that we're trying is because we told them we were pregnant before we miscarried in August. Our plan is to get pregnant as soon as possible and most probably know that we're trying again.
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I didn't tell ANYONE that we were TTC (except for my good friend who was also TTC at the same time) because I didn't want to be asked, "So, are you pregnant yet?" or, I didn't want people watching my every move (is she drinking? What's she avoiding?) to determine whether I was preggo.
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It's quite funny, I always thought we would keep it secret... however, we are sharing our plans to TTC with close friends. It's baby season in our group of friends and with getting married, people just assume we will be next. I'm finding that with telling those who ask that we are going to start trying next year, but that we have a few hurdles to overcome with PCOS, we're getting a lot less hassle about it. People know it may take a while and they're even coming out with how long they were really trying (a lot longer than we expected in some cases!).
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PSHEW! Glad I'm not the only one. Thanks ladies!
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You're not crazy at all! We haven't told anyone yet either. I agree with PP's that it's a private journey and the added questions and pressure isn't something we are ready to face just yet.
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My twin sister is aware of our TTC timeline and a couple close friends kind of know. We won't tell our parents but I think everyone suspects that we will TTC soon since we just got married and are 36 and 37.
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I'm not planning on telling anyone except for a close friend of mine who is in the same boat.
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i wouldn't want to tell family about ttc because they would ALWAYS ask. whereas girlfriends won't bug you like family would.
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I totally get this. We are doing the same thing. I told some of my girlfriends but we definitely won't be telling our families. My poor husband already gets asked by his parents ALL the time "Is there a bun in the oven yet?!" It would get ten times worse if they knew we were trying. And as much as I love my parents sometimes they try to give too much unsolicited advice, and I tend to give into it. So I just don't want them at all involved in this process/decision.
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I tell everyone! I can't keep it to myself! But everyone (besides my mom and sister) is smart enough to not ask me all the time if I am KU, I guess they figure if I haven't said anything, I'm not. TTC has become such an important part of my life lately, and I'm someone who needs to share and get her feelings out. So I'm happy to be able to talk freely about it and share my frustrations with friends and family alike.
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29 comments