Hi moms/moms-to-bee!!
I hate baby showers. I think they are boring. I hate the games. I hate the cheesy-ness of it and I hate watching people open their gifts (ooooh awwwww). I may sound like a grinch but it's just not my thing. My husband and friend insisted we have one, so I am game, but it's going to be very low key. My friend is getting a taco guy. It's co-ed/family oriented. More of a get - together than a shower. Do you think it's offensive to not open gifts at the shower? Have any of you done that? I would love to hear about your shower.
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I don't really think it's offensive, but some people are weird and like to see the mom-to-be react to their gift. So, I would just put something on the invite that lets everyone know that it's not a typical baby shower. That way, they won't be expecting the traditional stuff.
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If it was a traditional shower I'd expect to see gifts opened, but for this type of get together I wouldn't.
Sounds like a fun shower.
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Sounds like fun! I might be tempted to call it something other than a shower though.
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@Coral: agreed. i might call it something else. just because i think shower = gifts. i don't care about playing games, but i do like to see baby gifts opened because they're so cute!
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You should do a gift display! Instruct the guests not to wrap the gifts and just have a table to put them on display! Then no one expects you to "open" them because they aren't wrapped.
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I voted offensive even though it's not offensive per se... but I think it's expected. Every single shower I've been to, they open gifts.
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I've heard of people having two present tables. One for those that want their presents opened at the party and another for those that don't care if you open them after/ at home.
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I think if its a shower, its expected to open gifts. If its a BBQ or a gathering or open house or something then its not expected.
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I personally wouldn't care either way, but I know a lot of people might find it offensive!
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I think if you are having older family members attend, they will expect you to open their gifts in front of them. I like the idea of of having two present tables so people who really want to see your reaction can have that, people that don't care about it can skip it (and reduce the amount of time you spend unwrapping!)
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You don't have to but be prepared that people will approach you with their gift and insist you open it on the spot.
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We are having a non-traditional bbq/baby shower and I dont know yet what we will do about the opening gifts part. We're doing fun games (nothing baby-related) and it will be at our house. I hate the opening gifts part myself!! Ooohing and ahhhing over burp cloths and diapers.
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I prefer gifts to be opened at the party. If not, then I would definitely expect a very nice and personal thank you note asap
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I think if you're calling it a shower and expecting gifts you should open them at the party. If you call it something else (pre-baby barbecue or something) then you could skip it, although people still might want you to.
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The problem I have with the gift opening process is that sometimes, these showers take 4 hours and I don't have that kind of time to spend sitting around watching gifts being opened.
I personally don't take offense, but some people, even though they bought something of a registry, want to see the giver open it.
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@JennyJenny: I could have written this! My sister is throwing us a Co-Ed/family BaByQ. I am hoping to avoid a big gift opening. I think our plan will be to kind of do it more naturally. When someone arrives/before they leave, we'll open their gift. If people want to see the gifts, they can, otherwise they can just mingle like a regular party. I'm hoping this works out because I don't want all of these people (especially guys/kids) to feel forced to sit and watch us open for an hour. I'd rather spend that time talking with friends and family on a more personal basis.
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It's offensive here if you don't open gifts. I like the idea of having a gifts display where everything is unwrapped.
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I'm not a fan of showers and the gift opening is the worst part! I have no interest in seeing you open the same baby crap I have at my house. It's boring. I would be so happy if I went to your shower and didn't have to sit through that.
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I had a traditional shower and opened im gifts, but a friend of mine had a co-ed shower and didn't open gifts, it was fine!
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I hate baby showers because of the gift thing. I just went to one at a restaurant and she didn't open anything - I loved it! We had a party for our friends, and made sure to put on the evite that it wasn't a shower, just a party to celebrate with our friends before baby arrived. A few people brought gifts, but I didn't open them. I did have a traditional women-only shower for family and family-friends (mostly an older crowd) and opened the few gifts that were brought, but most were sent to our house (we live out of state). I kind of like the idea of 2 tables: "open me" and "take me home"! Although, maybe I'm just a bit passive-aggressive! I think it really depends on your guest list.
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I threw a shower for my SIL in Jan and she feels exactly the same as you.
On an insert in the invite it said "we kindly request that any gifts be sent directly to John and Jane". Some older guests still brought one but she didn't open them and no one commented (at least not to me, the hostess).We just had a lunch with booze. And some passive games - (like just leave a card at each place setting and guess what's in the diaper bag at the front of the room. The only thing I did was give a 5 min warning and then read off the answers. Person with most got an Amazon gift card. The end. It was very not-cheesy and those that expect a traditional shower were happy.
And we did a diaper raffle. Bring a pack of diapers any size to be entered in a raffle. Draw a name. Winner got an Amazon gift card and parents-to-be got a bunch of diapers. -
Gift display!
In the invite ask guests to bring the gifts unwrapped and have a system in place to identify the giver and gift in case cards and boxes/ gift bags are misplaced.
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I like seeing all the gifts personally....
We went to a shower recently where they asked everyone NOT to wrap, or have in a clear material and that way everyone could see the gifts, but she didn't have to open them all in front of everyone.
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In my locality, we typically do not open gifts at the shower. It's considered a little tacky. Instead, there is someone assigned to open gifts and display them on a gift table for guests to look at and ooh and ahh over during the shower. The same person also writes down who they are from so the mom can send thank you notes. I like it because it allows everyone to socialize more and there isn't the awkward gift opening.
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This sounds wonderful. Sitting around watching someone open a million gifts is murder.
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I think the only time it's appropriate to not open gifts at a shower/party is if you specifically ask for no gifts.
If you have a registry (that you've told people about), and you're inviting them to your shower, I think they want to see you open the gifts.
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To me, if it's a shower you are expected to open gifts. That's what they're really about!
Have a low key bbq if you want but don't call it a shower and don't include registry info.
I like to see people open gifts at showers!
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My friend had a green shower and asked everyone to not wrap gifts. They were displayed on a table (actually on the bar of the restaurant where they held the shower) and you could either walk along and peruse or not. I actually really liked it - more time to mingle and talk to friends that I don't get to see too often!
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@alphagam84: I agree. Ppl put a lot of time, money and effort into baby gifts - is it really too much to ask to open them for all to see?
I truly understand it's uncomfortable but you kinda just need to put that aside, no? Alternatively, just have a party and don't frame it as a shower at all!!
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I agree with doing a gift display. It is totally old school! My mom did it at her oh-so-proper wedding shower in the 80s. It also fits well with reducing waste/environmentally friendly shower.
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