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That's a tough situation, because I can see both sides of it to be honest. If I were in your neighbor's position I can honestly say that I would be a little irritated with the crying, but then coming from your position, I get it! You are trying to get your child on a sleeping schedule.

@merbaby14: gosh, that would be SO tough! i would be crushed if i read that something thought i wasn't comforting my child, especially because STing is ROUGH on parents! you're doing what's best for your LO and i hope that it gets better. but remember, your baby is a baby! they cry and that's normal! don't feel like you have to shush him immediately to be a good neighbor. i'm sorry you're doing through this. hugs.

I don't like the letter from the property manager, however I can see why your neighbor went to him. Are the complaints only coming from one neighbor or more than one? Has your neighbor complained other times (not during the sleep training phase)? Sometimes neighbors don't want to deal directly with each other and I understand that. I don't think she went behind your back--she has a reasonable expectation of the noise level and perhaps a couple of days of sleep training was not part of that.

That letter would piss me off, but I wouldn't sweat it.

The fact that you mention 2 of the last 3 days your son didn't cry before or after bed time makes me think that is rare-- and that your son probably cries before and/or after bed time more often than not. Normal/understandable (to parents)? I'm sure it is! But if she doesn't have kids I can see why she'd be upset at hearing a crying baby more days than not. Which doesn't make her right and you wrong... but I can see why both sides are upset. Realistically your property manager probably should have told her: sometimes you get stuck in an apartment next to a crying kid, and that sucks, but there is nothing we can really do about it-- sorry.

@merbaby14: Can you just do some soundproofing in your LOs room? When we were house hunting, we looked at a condo that had a bedroom with 1 wall covered in foam with a heavy curtain then covering the foam (the entire length and width of the wall). So it looked very nice, actually--even though I assume they did it for soundproofing reasons.

I'd be annoyed if I was your neighbor. She didn't sign up to have a baby and didn't sign on to "stick it out" during sleep training or to have her sleep interrupted. I'd recommend putting the baby in another room if possible until the baby isn't crying a lot-maybe you're past that now and it won't be an issue.

Quite honestly - I've come to terms with the fact that living in an apartment means that it is not going to be a quiet living situation. There are kids on every side of us - side, top, bottom - and I hear them all the time. One kid who lives below us is a crier, and cries several mornings at 6am - it is incredibly irritating and I do worry about it waking up J - but that is just how it is with living in an apartment. Unless you have the blessing of an incredibly sound-insulated building, I think people need to be realistic.
Of course courtesy comes into play - there are several things I don't do during certain hours that I would if I lived in a house (Jillian at 5am or 10pm... lol), because I want to be courteous of our neighbors. And I think you did well by discussing it with them directly... and sure what they did sucked, but I do get it.

It sounds like you're out of the throes of sleep training and crying, so I would just ignore it at this point.

@Costello: does your first course of action to send a general notice advising everyone of a particular rule typically work? From an employer - employee perspective general notices are frowned upon because often times the guilty party is oblivious to their bad behavior and the innocent party feels unjustly micromanaged. Certainly being threatened with a fine is a big no-no!

@merbaby14: I didn't mean moving the baby in with you, but f swapping the two rooms. One apartment I lived had two bedrooms of the same size. The only difference was one had an attached bath.

Being annoyed by a crying baby is one thing, and being lame and complaining even though you had previously talked with her about it is not cool but not a whole lot you can do about it other than try to keep him quieter and let her move out if she hates it so much....

.....but being told you are subject to a fine for a crying baby?!?! -- that is something I have a serious problem with and wonder about the legality of. I could see fines for loud parties but an infant? That seems ridiculous.

@merbaby14: Did your property manager cite a specific rule you are in violation of?

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I have found building wide notices to be very effective. Plus, it puts everyone on notice regarding the policy/consequences. If I have third party verification a specific tenant violated a specific rule, I will address that with only the party involved. However, it is usually one person's word against another's.

@mrbee: That is sort of what i think too...

That sucks, though. Super infuriating!

@merbaby14: Condos are covered under the Fair Housing Act. You may want to check with your local fair housing office to get their opinion. Again, I'm very sorry you are having to deal with this situation.