Hellobee Boards

Lol, my little sister did this to me. All I could think was “I don’t want these pictures, I want mine!” I gave the book to LO to look at whenever she wanted. I don’t think there’s anything to be done, It’s super annoying, but I think saying somrthing will just make me feel petty. Maybe drop a hint about how you love photobooks because they are so slim and how you are looking forward to making baby books for the twins?

My MIL made two scrapbooks for my son’s first year. Her excitement for my LO warms my heart and he loves flipping through pictures of himself. I will eventually make my own that is bookshelf/ coffee table worthy. LO is two, so yeah...eventually.

In your case I’d let them do whatever they want and when they mention making a copy for you just tell them you’re going to make your own just like you did for your first. I wouldn’t preemptively tell them not to bother with a book at all or multiple copies, but be prepared with a firm rebuttal if it comes up from them.

It might annoy me, but i don't think there is anything wrong with letting them make their photo album. I also get annoyed by a LOT of things my parents and my inlaws do. If your mom tells you that she is making one, just say, "That's great - i hope you know that i'm in the middle of doing one for the girls. Would you want a copy of mine too?"

I agree that it’s probably something they wanted to do in all of their excitement. I think it’s really nice that they made albums for your sister and MIL too, and imagine they’d be looking forward to getting scrapbooks about your twins. I get the overbearing thing though, like you just want to shake them and say “Let me be the parent!” I find it very hard to navigate because in your situation for example they are doing something you clearly weren’t going to do (making an old school scrapbook for a lot of people) and that no one would expect you to do, which kind of overshadows you. My MIL has an incredible capacity to manage children and can take them on a big adventure or tackle a project while they play nicely. I used to struggle a lot with it because it made me feel less than, but now I just remind myself that just because I can’t or don’t want to do this doesn’t mean she shouldn’t. A good example is my kid’s closet. It was getting chaotic and I just couldn’t get it organized with working and the kids literally flinging everything out of it when I tried. I came home one day and she had put all the clothes away and organized most of it. At first I was mad but then I was like ok, she has this magic ability and that’s great. It also took me a long time to get over her doing things like taking the kids to see Santa before I did without asking me but I finally realized how ridiculous it was for me to be upset. It comes down to if the kids love it, it flies. That being said I still feel likeMIL is overbearing when we’re both with the kids and she’s just way more hands on and interactive and I’m more laid back—it makes it seem like she’s the one who’s a better parent when in reality we have different styles. It’s super offensive to me because she makes a little show of it in public sometimes, but also the kids love her and I get over it in a few days. So maybe you’re like me in that when you’re actually feeling inadequate you say they’re overbearing, and just coming to terms with that.

Totally get where you're coming from! But like others I'd just let it go, let them make their albums and you make your own!

@ElbieKay: well, I would love it if my mom did this for me, because I never have time to do these things and I have almost no printed pictures of my kids because I suck. BUT--I don't have the same dynamic with my mom. My mom is prettttty hands off, unless I specifically ask for something, and that's kind of how I was raised, so a scrap book from her would be kind of an amazing gift for me. As someone else posted, if your parents regularly boundary stomp, then your feelings are going to be different because the situation is colored by all your previous issues with them.

So, I personally would graciously accept the scrap books. But I also see why you'd want to tell them in advance that you plan on making your own.

I bought a scrap book once. It's still empty.

@ElbieKay: I totally understand why you're annoyed, but I think I would try to just let it play out. If it comes up, I would probably mention that you'll be making one for the girls like you did for DS and then let them do what they want. I'm not sure how old your parents are, but I think you may really love the scrapbook they made once they are gone. And at that point you may find a new appreciation for the pictures that were their favorites.

I think it’s great they love and care for their grandkids to take time and effort to make these books. To put into perspective, lots of grandparents don’t care so it’s extra special for a child to receive this. Also, the pictures are different from your book so it’s double the memories to look over. My dad loves taking pictures. He prints out whatever he wants and gives it to us. He doesn’t expect us to frame it and display it front and center but it’s a small thing he takes time out to do for his grandkids. I’m not a fan of most of the photos but my kids love looking at the pictures grandpa took.

Edited to add: my first has a sorta finished book. My second I started like two pages. And I didn’t even buy one for my 3rd

I would let it go. Theirs can be "a" book and yours can be "the" book. If it comes up, I wouldn't hesitate to say something along the lines of "I love making their baby photo books!" or whatever. If they want to press the issue then they'll have to be the ones to be pushy, rather than you making the issue front and center.

I agree with others that there are obviously other deep rooted issues here b/c just looking at this on it's face, I don't see the problem. I think it's awesome that your child will have 2 baby books. My sister in law makes a photo book for the entire family each year and we get it for Christmas. It's honestly my favorite gift each year. My littles love to curl up and read it like a book so that we can reminisce about all the fun with had as a whole family this past year.