Hellobee Boards

@Ajsmommy: I'm curious if your manager is male or female? I generally don't hear that someone is "too defensive" or "doesn't take criticism well" from male colleagues as they refer to females.

I try to be my biggest critic so when management has feedback for me I accept it better if that makes any sense. I also will ask them for feedback trying to prepare myself for anything I can do to improve in their eyes.
I think you handled it well.
I've called bullshit at work and have been told that I need to be less reactive, see where others are coming from. I eventually left that job and have been in a position where management is better - they have their flaws but it's nothing compared with where I used to work.

@Ajsmommy: Sorry to hear about your work woes. Your post title caught my eye because I've been an over-worked professional for most of my career. Some of that is me and I've had to learn how to set boundaries. Some of that is that I really like what I do and I'm good at it! I've also had some really difficult work situations -- mostly crap bosses -- so it's definitely given me some perspective.

Two thoughts for you:

1) I may be projecting here but your "defensive" manner or whatever was perceived by your boss may be your natural response to feeling totally undervalued. Do you feel that they recognize you for being awesomely competent? I'm guessing not really. How could you feel more valued? What steps can you take to put yourself in a situation where no matter "they" say, you are confident that you are rocking it and they are lucky to have you do so. I think that is how you could feel more balanced when they challenge your productivity and mis-read (or don't read reports. Can't argue with the facts and no need to defend the obvious.

As a side note, when my boss misreads a report or talks only about one side of productivity, etc., I speak up right away. I don't let wrong assumptions linger (not anymore!). I usually use humor so that my tone isn't misunderstood (we are often on conference calls). It's easier to use humor when you aren't so charged up!

2.) Don't accept that you are defensive (or anything) just because your boss says so. And even if you are defensive or have issues with accepting criticism (as in, your DH and best friends agree with that statement), don't let it define you. It's how you felt in that moment and most people would feel frustrated by an employer questioning their productivity and not seeing how hard your working. In fact, I'm surprised to hear that you got that feedback after it became clear that you have too much on your plate. It doesn't sound like it's coming from the most emotionally intelligent boss....just saying.

An old boss used to give me feedback like this when he was frustrated with the way our big project was going. I couldn't see it at the time, but this particular criticism that hung with me for years and I "believed", was just a frustrated person finding fault and not being very gracious.

Hoping you can turn this around!!

@Truth Bombs: Good points. I actually didn't read that the OP said bs, but rather implied it, But I agree if language and tone weren't appropriate, it's best to set things straight!! I actually swear like a sailor on an average day but I'm totally G-rated around work!

It sounds like their criticism was totally unfair, but the unfortunate thing about unfair criticism is that people still expect you to respond to it totally diplomatically and cool as a cucumber. I was in a situation where I was (I feel) unjustifiably criticized by some professional peers last week and it was pretty demoralizing. I didn't handle it nearly as well as I should have. In hindsight, what I should have done more was calmly reflect the question back at them...on the surface to make sure I was understanding correctly but also to show them just how ridiculous the questions/statements were. Ex., "so you think that X is not effective? And that it would be better for me to do Y? How could I make this happen?" Probably the tone would be the trick....not sarcastic but open. Then that would give them the chance to either clarify, acknowledge the difficulty in their suggestions/critique, or maybe back themselves into a corner.

I would react the same way! If you can speak freely with them I'd just say that if the numbers are posted daily, then you would know that the criticism is uncalled for/unfair and therefore elicited such a huge reaction from me. I would say that I am absolutely open to productive criticism, know that I am not perfect and that I can always improve, BUT it is a hard pill to swallow when one is overworked and clearly working more cases than others in the same rank, yet not receiving any recognition and instead getting criticism instead is pretty hurtful.