Hellobee Boards

We have a couple super simple songs that really ease transitions (so I would have sung "shakers away, shakers away, it's time to put the shakers away.") so in general that might be helpful for you. But providing the tantrum has started, as a fellow parent, I'd rather watch you stick to your guns and follow-through, even if that means a tantrum. I usually kneel down on lo's level and get his attention, ask him to take deep breaths, and state very matter-of-factly what is going on, so "LO, it's time to put the shakers away. You really liked those shakers, and now you are mad. But it's time to put them away. Can you help me listen to what the teacher is going to say next?" Id give that 2-5 minutes and then give a leaving warning. I always follow through on what i say, so I won't threaten something I don't want to do.

I found from 18ish months on that acknowledging lo's feelings (saying "you're mad") is tremendously helpful.

You're not the only one! Don't feel like a bad mom we've all been there! Or at least I have....hahaha! But really, like you if my 18 mo old throws a tantrum at home I ignore. If we're out it depends on the situation. If we're in a room that I can't easily make my way out of I try distraction. But typically I usually try and remove him from the situation. The last time he threw a tantrum we were at a restaurant and he was throwing his mac n cheese so we took it away from him. He had a fit so I took him out of his high chair and we went outside until he calmed down. When we went back to our seats he was fine. It is embarrassing, but kids that age don't understand discipline yet. This is not a reflection of your parenting. You're doing great!

In that situation, I think you did the right thing - I would take the shakers away. Like @Jess1483: suggested, it is very helpful to ease the transition by giving a little "warning" (for lack of better words) of the transition to come. If my LO kept crying, I would probably pick her up, acknowledge that she's upset, and if she didn't quiet down within a minute or so, would probably take her outside to calm down.

Don't feel judged or anything by other parents - I'm sure *everyone* has been in that situation before And usually, when someone else's kid is having a tantrum and I see the parent trying their best to calm them down, I give them a sympathetic glance and say something like, "aww" not to be rude but to try to let them know it's okay, we've all been there, done that

You got great suggestions, especially from @Jess1483: I'll add that I try to head off a tantrum usually with the kind of discussion/words Jess mentioned. In the example of the shakers, I may have tried to create a game (shake them all the way to the basket to put away; etc). When my son tantrums, I move out of the way, get on his level, speak low & calm, help him take a deep breath & count to 4 (Daniel tiger anyone?!) & try to talk him through it.
You might try doing this with at home tantrums sometimes, instead of ignoring them. It's helped me develop my "calm down" skills and teaches him how to work through his emotions in a safe, non-stressful environment. I feel like toddlers have little to no clue how to handle their feelings and adults really have to teach them what to do to get under control & sometimes ignoring doesn't help with that.

We leave. I've had other parents try that "aww it's ok, sweetie" stuff too, and it's not helpful, but I think they just feel badly and don't know what to say.