Hellobee Boards

I'm sorry. I am a reluctant SAHM in that I basically didn't make enough money to make sending LO to daycare "worth it". It took me a long time to enjoy it, but I honestly do now (LO is 2)!

I was like you in that my friends do not have kids yet. On top of that, we moved from NYC to the suburbs for my husband's job, so I had to start over friend-wise anyway. A couple of things that helped me:

1) when LO went down to one nap per day, which just gave me way more flexibility.

2) Joining the Junior League (pre-baby DEFINITELY not my style, but I love it) and meeting new friends - some of whom have children, others who don't. Basically, it made me feel good to make friends in a way that didn't necessarily have to do with my identity as a mom.

3) When I would meet a mom at the park, just going for it and asking for her email. Believe me, this was hard for me! And honestly, I feel a connection w/ a mom at the park very rarely. But when I do I'm like, hey, I need friends and she probably does, too, so why not?

4) I make myself get out of the house at least once every single day, whether it's to the park, the library, the beach, the children's museum, the indoor playground at the mall, Target, whatever. I just can't handle being stuck indoors w/ only LO.

I hope this helps! If it's any consolation, I truly love being home with my daughter now and have gone from being like, "I can't wait to go back to work some day" to thinking, "oh, man, I really like this and it's going to be tough going back to the office."

You know that I'm in the same boat as you...or in a similar boat far away (because if we were in the same boat then we wouldn't be near as bored). (My sleep deprivation is making me talk crazy).

Anyway, are there any mom groups in your area? I go to MOPS and I'm anxiously waiting for it to start again in August. The kids go to their own play area far way from the moms, and the moms get some adult time. I'm going to put in a real effort this time to make friends, because I desperately need other mom friends.

I also looked around and found a play group at a local cafe. I met two girls there last week and I think we hit it off. There's also story time (but I haven't had luck meeting any moms at that).

Like meredithNYC above said, we try to get out every day. Nap times (as you know, again) are really hindering us, but I absolutely have to be social and keep busy, especially while my husband is away. I'll go crazy if I don't. Then again, I"m kinda going crazy now that I am this busy...so maybe ignore everything I just said

@meredithNYC: excellent advice. I REALLY need to start doing number 3 and asking for email/phone number. I need friends so, so much lately that I need to take advantage when i meet someone that I connect with.

Are there any free activities you can take LO to? We do story time at the library. It's only 30 minutes, but then we spend another 30 minutes picking out books & playing with the other kids. I usually talk to the other moms, and it's nice being around other people. Your city should offer some free programs too. There's always Gymboree, etc. too. Getting out and doing stuff with Sadie is what keeps me sane some days. Even if we go out to get lunch or just walk around Target - it's nice to be out around other people.

I love having the connection of my small group of SAHM friends. Could you invite just one of your friends over for lunch and a play date at your house? That way it's less chaotic & you can actually chat without worrying about your LO's stunts. The best way to build those relationships is just to spend time together! Doesn't have to be formal playgroups.

Also, have you thought about volunteering? Maybe even just an hour a week. It shouldn't be too hard to find someone to watch your LO for that amount of time (maybe a Mother's Morning Out at a church). It will allow you to feel productive & get adult interaction.

I'm not a SAHM, but plan to be when my little one comes in March.

Could you start doing hobbies/projects at home during nap time? Like renovating a room (painting walls, cabinets, general updates) - it is somewhat of a creative outlet with a tangible result that can be done slowly over time during naps. Or you could learn a new skill like sewing pillows or making Christmas ornaments and selling them on Etsy or something. I'm just throwing out random ideas, but it doesn't have to be something you have experience with or something you've done in the past. Between google and youtube, you can self-teach basically any skill. It might make you feel more accomplished and fill your time a bit

I deal by getting out of the house and initiating/building friendships. Are there any local playgroups? Story time? I seriously couldn't have made it this far without my amazing friend group. Even if we didn't see each other for weeks, it was such a lifesaver to just have friends to email and discuss things. Many of my existing friends had kids around the same time as us, but I've made some excellent new ones since then at church/playground/etc.

Also, I think netting up for playgroup in an open space is horrible. My kid is the one always running away, and it's just not fun for me. We try to stick to fairly controlled environments like fenced in playgrounds, people's houses, and CFA. The people that work at CFA know our playgroup's names and faces because we frequented there so much - especially in the winter. It's kid friendly, and the play space is impossible to fall out of.

We moved and I became a SAHM at the same time so I basically had to start over in the friend department. My LO is 17 months old. Do you like to exercise? I joined a group called Stroller Strides (part of the Fit4Mom franchise...they have them all over the country) and it was a lifesaver. Not only am I able to get outside with my LO but I've met tons of other moms and with LO's around the same age! We started when my daughter was 6 months old and we are still going strong. Plus, I've developed really good friendships with some of the women now and we hang out all the time outside of class. I love it! You can try looking into that....it's wonderful, it really is!

I am a part time SAHM, working two days outside of the home. LO goes to daycare one day a week, and then I work every Sunday and he stays home with DH. It sucks not having a full weekend all together as a family but its been amazing for LO and DH to have one day together on their own.

So this has really been a perfect set up for us. I always knew I wanted to be home with LO most of the time, however going to work just two days a week gives me a chance to focus a little bit on my career and to be around other adults, etc. So- I would definitely recommend finding some very part time work (or even volunteer work) that you can do, it will be very refreshing! Maybe there is even some kind of volunteer work you can do from home during those long naps.

For meeting mom's, we did a weekly new parent support group that lasted 12 weeks when the babies were tiny. (for Seattle Bee's the organization is called PEPs) We have still kept in touch with those families.

I found a local co-op preschool system that has infant classes, which I attend with my babe once per week. I have meet a lot of other mom's that way. It doesn't run over the summer, but all the parents & kids still get together once per week for play dates

There are two Lactation nurse businesses that run breastfeeding support groups in Seattle, but they also have parent support groups. A friend of mine attended this weekly for a looong time and she met many friends that way.

Does your town have stroller strides? Or some kind of outdoor group activity you can do with LO?

What about Gymboree/Little Gym since he is so good with his gross motor skills? I'm sure if you attended a weekly class you could meet one or two moms there to hang with. In our town the communicty centers have open gym play time that is great for this and also a lot cheaper then paying for a class.

Edit: I think that was the longest post I ever worte...sorry if its too much info!! haha

I felt so isolated when LO was younger. And she was a tough baby who wanted to nurse all the time and only slept on me. It was hard and finally I couldn't deal with that so we sleep trained. But then I felt like it was just me a lot doing nothing while she slept. When she was around 9 months old, I worked up the courage to go to a play date with a local moms group. Now she's 2 years old and we're part of two groups. Getting out and getting interaction for both of us helps a lot. I try to get us out of the house at least a few times a week and then when there isn't a scheduled play date, sometimes we'll go to a store and wander or go to a park or something. It's definitely helped a lot though with how isolated I felt.

You could also contact local homeschool groups who might know of kids that would benefit from volunteer tutoring! Or kids in the hospital? Ronald McDonald house? Trying to think of places you could take LO potentially and might need tutoring during the normal day.

@Mrs. Lion: I thought this was perfect for this discussion! At least for a laugh! http://theuglyvolvo.com/what-all-the-other-parents-are-doing-during-the-day/