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September 2018 POAS

  1. Berly

    cherry / 107 posts

    @Kaohinani: Ttc is hard. It's such a mind fuck with its ups and downs and waiting each cycle. Don't feel bad for feeling down. We're here when you need support.

  2. yellowbeach

    nectarine / 2648 posts

    @Berly: I agree - I don’t think anyone expects these boards to be 100% cheery and without struggle. I’ve always appreciated HB for its realism in both ups and downs.

  3. Jessiemuller88

    clementine / 973 posts

    @Kaohinani: I think you are completely justified in having as many glasses of wine as you want. I definitely took the weekend to indulge and get a little tipsy. It helps me relax too. TTC can be all consuming. I have had to step back and be ok with whatever happens, or doesn’t happen. Just know we don’t expect you to be positive all the time. I think the best part of this board is that you can be real. We are all here for you. Hugs!

  4. QBbride

    pomegranate / 3192 posts

    @Kaohinani: I’m so sorry you’re struggling. I would definitely feel the same way if I had been on a difficult TTC journey. Allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling. We are here for you

  5. paranundrum

    clementine / 811 posts

    @yellowbeach: I'm sorry you don't have answers yet, I'm hoping they come soon and are positive.

    @magnolia: Congratulations, I'm so happy for you!

    @Kaohinani: I'm sorry you are feeling down, but I'm glad you expressed it. I have said it more than once before – don't bottle your emotions and feelings up because you feel like it would bring the mood down here on the board.

    As I see it, the point of the board is to share emotions and news, celebrate, swap notes, commiserate, give and receive support and that's why I come here. I'm pretty sure there are plenty of places online where the mood is kept happy and upbeat at all times, but I'm not sure this particular TTC board has to be one of them. It's normal for life to have ups and downs.

    Also don't beat yourself up, give yourself a break. You're doing your best and that's enough.

    I hope you are feeling a bit better today. How is you temp this morning?

    It's cd 5 today, I'll probably start using OPKs at the end of the week or so. FF predicts OV to be on the 26th, just a day after the full moon. I'm probably grasping at straws over here but I have heard it might be a good thing...

    I'm feeling a lot better now and am back at work, but my SO is ill now. I'm hoping he got it from me and didn't bring a new virus home. I'd really hate to have to miss more work.
    It was so difficult to get up in the morning though. It was raining, I love the sound of the rain on the windowsill when I'm sleeping. My pup had curled up in the crook of my leg and we were so cozy.
    It's starting to really look like autumn over here. It's raining more and more, the leaves are turning red and yellow, it's darker in the mornings and for some weird reason it feels like Christmas. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  6. Kaohinani

    grapefruit / 4144 posts

    @Sams Mom: @Berly: @Yellowbeach: @Jessiemuller88: @QBBride: @paranundrum:
    Thank you, all. You are wonderfully understanding and strong women. I appreciate each one for your kindness and empathy.
    My temp dropped further so, I believe this cycle is heading towards a late AF. With that stated, I think I need to take a step back (at least for a little bit). I'm too consumed by TTC and it is making me self destructive. I'm not good for my family or myself if I'm in poor standing mentally and physically. Hopefully, time (I don't know the magic number), gives me a break and some clarity.
    - Kaohinani 💗

  7. Sams Mom

    grapefruit / 4492 posts

    @Kaohinani: hopefully your temp drop helps relieve some of the stress of TTC. Take as much time as you need, lurk, comment on occasion of you can, just know we're all here.

  8. paranundrum

    clementine / 811 posts

    @Kaohinani: Just like @Sams Mom: said. Take a breather and be kind to yourself. We will be right here for you if/when you need us.

  9. yellowbeach

    nectarine / 2648 posts

    I’m also out. What can only be AF or a MC showed herself for sure this morning. I didn’t even bother to waste a FRER.

    I’m not sure what to make of my positive tests I was getting. Don’t know if we call this a chemical or trigger that didn’t metabolize out appropriately- I’ll let my doctor decide that this week. I’m ok actually because I know we can keep going with the other 5 embryos we have.

    My chart just for reference.



  10. paranundrum

    clementine / 811 posts

    @yellowbeach: Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm glad though, that you are doing okay and know what the next steps are.

  11. Sams Mom

    grapefruit / 4492 posts

    @yellowbeach: o no I'm sorry.

    So with frozen transfers do you wait months between? Or do you try again on the next cycle?

  12. QBbride

    pomegranate / 3192 posts

    @yellowbeach: I’m sorry

    @Kaohinani: take all the time you need. We are here for when when/if you decide to come back. Please take care of yourself

  13. SupernovaJ

    persimmon / 1141 posts

    I read the posts over the weekend but wasn't able to comment as I checked in periodically and things were busy, but lifted you all in prayer this morning. I know this journey can be a roller coaster of emotions--I'm so sorry for all the "downs" right now.

    @Kaohinani: As always, appreciate your openness and vulnerability, and please take whatever time you need to to step back and regroup. We'll be here to cheer you on when and if you decide to join us again.

    @yellowbeach: I'm so sorry. Glad you are looking ahead with positivity though.

  14. skinnycow

    pear / 1728 posts

    @yellowbeach: I'm sorry

  15. cstanton13

    coffee bean / 37 posts

    @Kaohinani: I never get online on the weekends only during the week while I'm at work. However, I logged on today and wished I had got online yesterday for you. You always try to lift everyone else up while I know you are dealing with the same thing all of us are. You are very much entitled to let it all out and express your emotions. It always makes me feel better. This is a tough journey! I know you will continue TTC, and I hope you don't delete your account because you are a HUGE supporter to a lot of women. I have faith that one day it will happen for you. Just keep doing what your doing, relax and live your life to the fullest (easier said than done I know). I'm sorry you are down and out but ya know maybe you needed those glasses of alcoholic beverages (my choice is wine) even to only feel calm and stress free for a little while. We all need it! So forget about this month(even if you are out yet) and prepare for next! You got this girl. I hope you have a wonderful day

    @magnolia: Congratulations!! That's so wonderful. That's definitely a BFP. I'm happy for you

    @yellowbeach: I know you are frustrated, because I would be the same way - I pray that you find answers and regards to your husbands comment. They just don't understand that battles we fight internally "could I be pregnant?" and you just want to know one way or another. Theres that little bit of hope that going into your doctors appt you will have already known you were pregnant! So you test. I get it, we all get it! Sending love and prayers, and BABY DUST!!

  16. cstanton13

    coffee bean / 37 posts

    I'm really sorry if I just posted a very large reply like 5 times. My computer isn't letting me see that I posted it.

  17. cstanton13

    coffee bean / 37 posts

    @Kaohinani: I never get online on the weekends only during the week while I'm at work. However, I logged on today and wished I had got online yesterday for you. You always try to lift everyone else up while I know you are dealing with the same thing all of us are. You are very much entitled to let it all out and express your emotions. It always makes me feel better. This is a tough journey! I know you will continue TTC, and I hope you don't delete your account because you are a HUGE supporter to a lot of women. I have faith that one day it will happen for you. Just keep doing what your doing, relax and live your life to the fullest (easier said than done I know). I'm sorry you are down and out but ya know maybe you needed those glasses of alcoholic beverages (my choice is wine) even to only feel calm and stress free for a little while. We all need it! So forget about this month(even if you are out yet) and prepare for next! You got this girl. I hope you have a wonderful day

  18. cstanton13

    coffee bean / 37 posts

    @magnolia: Congratulations!! That's so wonderful. That's definitely a BFP. I'm happy for you

  19. cstanton13

    coffee bean / 37 posts

    @yellowbeach: I know you are frustrated, because I would be the same way - I pray that you find answers and regards to your husbands comment. They just don't understand that battles we fight internally "could I be pregnant?" and you just want to know one way or another. Theres that little bit of hope that going into your doctors appt you will have already known you were pregnant! So you test. I get it, we all get it! Sending love and prayers, and BABY DUST!!

  20. LAZB

    pomegranate / 3904 posts

    @Kaohinani: you get to have all the wine you want, and you are definitely allowed to have a bad day, take some time, whatever you need to do for you. I can’t imagine trying for as long as you have and staying positive through it all, I get cranky every month! Take your time and we will be here when you’re ready

  21. cstanton13

    coffee bean / 37 posts

    I do have a couple questions though: is it truly common to spot or cramp during "implantation" or is that just a 1 in a bazillion chance that will happen? When exactly is the norm to implant? I've read 5-12 days then I ready 6-10. So I'm so confused.

  22. LAZB

    pomegranate / 3904 posts

    @yellowbeach: I’m sorry that is such a bummer, I really wanted this one to work. Hopefully next emby is the one!

  23. SupernovaJ

    persimmon / 1141 posts

    @magnolia: Congrats! That's a lovely BFP. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy.

  24. MamaBear87

    nectarine / 2288 posts

    @yellowbeach: so so sorry. I hope the next embie is the one

    @Kaohinani: i hope you're feeling better and that taking a step back gives you a mental break. A few glasses of wine is totally fine to wind down in my eyes

  25. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @Kaohinani: I hope you find the right balance for you between TTC and living your best life. Hugs.

    @yellowbeach: I'm so sorry. I have so much hope that your rainbow is right around the corner. ❤

  26. skinnycow

    pear / 1728 posts

    @cstanton13: I've always heard 6-12 days with day 9 being average.

    Implantation bleeding seems to be fairly common but as far as I've read there's no evidence that implantation actually causes bleeding. People that experience it could be spotting due to hormones/other reasons so there's no way to determine if it's truly implantation bleeding. Spotting during a cycle (even during implantation phase) has always lead to a BFN for me.

  27. Sams Mom

    grapefruit / 4492 posts

    @cstanton13: I don't have exact numbers, but implantation spotting is not very common from what I've read. I think cramping is slightly more common, yet still not common place.

  28. Sams Mom

    grapefruit / 4492 posts

    @magnolia: I think I totally spaced on congratulating you. CONGRATULATIONS!!! That is a nice dark line for a few days before your test date, how many dpo were you?

  29. Sams Mom

    grapefruit / 4492 posts

    @SupernovaJ: I am finally in the TWW, it took forever to get here. Are you far enough into your TWW to have symptoms?

  30. yellowbeach

    nectarine / 2648 posts

    So I got a bHcG drawn today and it's negative (<5). I expected it to be downtrending, but didn't think it would be undetectable based on the fact that I had a positive FRER yesterday. Anyone else as perplexed as I am?

    Plan is to head straight into another FET cycle for October, so I'll be heading over to that board soon. Baseline ultrasound and maybe a change in my IVF transfer protocol depending on what my RE says this week.

  31. Sams Mom

    grapefruit / 4492 posts

    @yellowbeach: I am shocked that it is that low with 3 faint positives. That is definitely not what I expected

    I guess it can be considered for the better since you aren't having to play the waiting game for the HCG to go down enough to start again.

  32. yellowbeach

    nectarine / 2648 posts

    @Sams Mom: That's exactly the way I looked at it when I saw it - weird for sure, but means there's no ectopic and no downtrending HcG that we'd have to trend out again and could potentially delay us from moving into round 2.

  33. LAZB

    pomegranate / 3904 posts

    @yellowbeach: frers have been known to have terrible indents, maybe that was it? I started a thread a few years ago when I had five tests I thought were positive, and my levels came back negative and I didn’t get my period for another like 6 months, so It wasn’t a chemical.
    It still sucks though

  34. LAZB

    pomegranate / 3904 posts

  35. yellowbeach

    nectarine / 2648 posts

    @LAZB: Wow! Almost the same situation although I'm not breastfeeding and these were all from the same pack. So fauly pack maybe? They don't look like evaps to me as they have some color to them (immediately after 3 min and after a day or two of drying). Buyer beware!

  36. BadgerMom

    persimmon / 1385 posts

    @yellowbeach: I'm so sorry this turned out this way. I've stopped trusting faint FRERs. Every time someone posts a true FRER squinter my heart jumps in my throat. I'm not sure whether it's evaps or they're just too sensitive. From what I found googling after a couple squinters that never materialized myself was that a super faint FRER can equate to single digit beta numbers. So in your case unless you tested out your trigger with a FRER I think it could have been that it was still picking up some trigger, or that you did have a chemical but your betas never got out of the single digits. Again, I'm so sorry.

  37. SupernovaJ

    persimmon / 1141 posts

    @Sams Mom: Yay for being in the TWW! Everything seemed to really go at a snail's pace this cycle. I'm day six of the TWW. I actually have had ZERO symptoms. Today I am extra tired and have a headache, but aside from that...really nothing. I'm supposed to POAS on Friday so hopefully this week will fly. I've been able to see a faint positive at 9-10 DPO with my previous pregnancies.

    How are you feeling? Guess it's too early for symptoms? Fingers crossed for you!!

  38. Sams Mom

    grapefruit / 4492 posts

    @SupernovaJ: Yea, I'm only 3 dpo according to when I thought I would O and 4 dpo according to FF. It's too early for real symptoms, but I haven't been able to sleep well the last couple nights. So tired in general but not pregnant tired.

  39. magnolia

    persimmon / 1168 posts

    @yellowbeach: I’m glad you can move forward and I’m hoping you get your bfp on this next cycle!

  40. magnolia

    persimmon / 1168 posts

    @Sams Mom: @SupernovaJ: @cstanton13: thanks so much! I’m very excited and a little nervous

    @Sams Mom: I was trying to wait until 9/20 to test because last month my cycle was really long, 33 days. This month AF was due on 9/16 so I was trying to hold out to test .....but I caved since I had bought the dollar store test I think I was 13 dpo when I tested but not 100% sure since I don’t track OV (besides using the clue app which just goes by cycle days)

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