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Disposable plates/bowls for anything that would require a soak. That's helped us manage down the INSANE amount of dishes we manage to accumulate. DH does no dishes ever (grrr) and I do them like 2-3 times a week tops bc I hate dishes with every ounce of my soul. Plus our current sink is like 6" deep and is horrible. It is an expensive, environmentally unfriendly sanity saver at the moment

I have 2 sets of pump parts, and only wash the pump parts every other day. I pump at night before bed, so I'll wash it after the last pump. Takes about 5 mins.

I put everything except knives/pot and pans in the dishwasher. Even if I prefer to hand wash some of the dishes, its a compromise I make to make it a wee bit easier for me. I run the dishwasher after dinner so that its done by the time we've done bedtime and washed up. I leave the dishwasher door open overnight for the dishes to dry (we don't use the dryer function), and DH puts the dishes away in the morning while he does breakfast with the toddler.

On days that I just don't think I can manage all the tasks, we use paper plates, but I try to make that an infrequent thing.

ANY chore with kids is so hard, but I try to grin and bear it the best I can, and try to compromise where I can.

It sucks.

I put my pots in the dishwasher! This is why I have a very inexpensive set, I don't really care if they get scratched up.

I do handwash my knives, but only my chopping knife. I use serrated for meals and those go in the dishwasher.

For us, regular dishes are no problem because they just go in the dishwasher. The other things pile up though. We do put our stainless steel pots in the dishwasher, so I'm looking to transition more of our cookware to SS for that reason. It might be worth it for you to buy a couple inexpensive, dishwasher-safe pots and knives to use for the next couple years, then bring out the good stuff again when they wear out?

Also, what kind of Tupperware are you using? The cheap disposable stuff from the grocery store will warp, but if it's higher-quality it should be fine on the top rack. No advice on bottles and pump parts except to have extras so you only have to wash every 2-3 days...I remember what a huge time-suck that was.

I'm pretty picky about what I put in the dishwasher too, so tend to get overwhelmed with dishes.

We have LOTS of kids dishes and they all go in the dishwasher, as do our eating dishes.

We have some glass "tupperware" that we put in (but not the lids. I've had several good quality lids warp on me with no dry cycle on, so I get that). Maybe get some glass containers to use for lunches that you can put in the dishwasher?

I try to wash little loads while I am waiting for things. So, I'll wash while supper is finishing in the oven, or while the boys are finishing eating. It isn't perfect but it helps. Sometimes I fill the sink with water and let my preschooler "wash". He gets things pretty well rinsed and soaked and then I can finish everything else quickly.

SNAPWARE! It's glass "Tupperware". In essence you could put the containers in the dishwasher and hand wash the lids, but because they snap in place I think the lids could handle the dishwasher too. For that much storage I would get two sets.

Paper plates, bowls, coffee cups and plastic utensils and cups for juice/ water. When DH runs the dishwasher he puts cookware and pots and pans; I don't, but it all does come out clean.

Just sympathy! I do dishes 3-4 times a day and we also use our dishwasher semi-regularly but mostly for plates and cups. We have glass Tupperware, but I don't put the kids in the dishwasher. I also use 50 million utensils and lots to make every meal unfortunately. So I guess I spend an hour doing dishes everyday ish. My husband uses the dishwasher more than me when cleaning up, but I don't often because I feel like I'm doing the dishes anyway, I may as well wash the plates and cups as well and I'm awful at loading the dishwasher...

I also wash in shifts- bottles and pump parts (when I still pumped), kids lunch container (plastic and not glass), my snapware lids when I get home from work before dinner. After dinner, dishes in the dishwasher and pots/pans/knives/wooden utensils all get hand washed. DH washes breakfast dishes before he goes to work in the morning. I really do feel like I wash dishes ALL THE TIME but I try to make it meditative and just lean into it.

I felt like it was so much easier once I stopped having to wash bottles and pump parts every day.

@snowjewelz: I use the dishwasher as a drying rack too! It's so big. Haha. It's magnificent.

In our house DH does the dishes

But things we do to lighten the dish load are:
- Don't use our nice knives. I have a nice set that can't go into the dish washer and they only rarely get used. I have serated knives in our silverware set so if we need steak knives, that's what we use.

- Try to minimize the types of meals that need multiple pots and pans.

- Minimize serving dishes. Sometimes I feel weird because growing up my mom put all of the food she cooked on to various serving plates/bowls. But DH hates washing that stuff, so in our house we leave things on the stove and dish up plates from there.

- Playtex Bottles - the bottle part doesn't really need to get washed most of the time, and neither does the ring. When I take apart the bottles I just rinse both with hot water and put them aside to dry.

- 3 sets of pump parts.

I do dishes 3-4 nights a week, my husband does the other nights (whoever cooks gets the night off from dishes, but I also do them on his late night or if he has hours of notes to do at home)

I prop the iPad up on the window sill above the sink and wash while I watch tv or listen to a podcast. If I don sit down after the kids are asleep and just go straight to cleaning the kitchen it can actually feel kind of soothing. No solution, I guess, just a perspective change.
We don't put anything plastic in the dishwasher, so lids to our metal and glass Tupperware get hand washed. We do put metal pots in. Hand wash knives.

YEs we do a lot of skinny jelly Mason jars (for everything) and that helps with space in the dishwasher. I also have small saucer sized plates so many snacks go on that and it fits on the top rack leaving space on the bottom. THe mason jars come in different sizes and lids are tiny and cheap so it is great for leftovers without taking up space. The square container in red is the smallest snack non-mason I have and that takes up a lot more. I could fit two celery sticks chopped in it where as the pint jar which is the same diameter can hold probably three or four.

Washing bottles made me want to die! We also switched to the glass tupperware containers and it's been really helpful to put them in the dishwasher and do the lids by hand. My husband sounds a lot like yours: he's got serious feelings about hand washing certain items (kids' plastic dishes, mixing bowls, pots/pans, knives/spatulas, cutting boards, tupperware lids...) either because of warping, organizational concerns, or wearing on times. I think he's a little nuts about it. So, he does most of the dishes. I told him that I'd do dishes/load the washer how I saw fit and if it truly bothered him he could do it the way he saw fit. This went both ways because I didn't like how he washed bottles so I almost always did them.
Also, my oldest isn't quite in the packed lunch stage, but i did see some Planetwise snack/lunch reusable bags. They seem like they'd rinse out really easily (and I think maybe are even dishwasher safe?). They wouldn't hold leftovers like meatballs and rice or anything, but they'd do snacks/sandwiches/fruit really well! https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00J8LPGAG/ref=pd_aw_fbt_75_img_2?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=6T6REB765TDKTT9GQZ6Z&th=1